tony Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: Careful What You Fish For
Your p.m. roundup for July 14, the day we went hunting for a shark in a lake but caught a duck instead. As always, don't forget to tip your editors....

Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...

Tony Parker: "Lockout? Wheeee!"
If summer vacation could last forever, Tony Parker would never come down. [via TBJ]...

Gluttony Among The Colonists: Deadspin's British Foreign Correspondent Reports From Nathan’s
America smells heavily of sweat. Sweat and old takeout—a lingering, clotted odor, a hybrid of a gas leak and authentic home cooking. This is my first time smelling or seeing the country. I arrived three days ago, Heathrow to JFK, having never crossed the Atlantic before. Now after a long and hot sub...

The Lockout Will Not Stop Tony Romo And Troy Aikman From Having A Spirited Game Of Beach Football
Yeah, also, Sean Payton's there, in the yellow shirt. Bobby Carpenter's the dude in the giant blue shorts. Stop slobbering, Cowboy fans. We can see you over there....

American Patriot Tim Howard Thinks Soccer Ceremonies In America Should Be Conducted In American English
Your morning roundup for June 26, a day after a man who lost his arm to a rocket in Afghanistan caught a foul ball....

Brewers Fan Tells Nyjer Morgan To Go Fly A Kite, So Nyjer Morgan Goes And Flies A Kite
More evidence that Nyjer Morgan is a singular soul: Reader Todd responded to one of those tweets that public figures always release into the Twittersphere to make their followers feel acknowledged (this one: "Wat should ur boy do today?"), only this public figure (sure, why not?) happened to be Nyje...

Milwaukee's Nyjer Morgan Provides The Post-Game Interview Of The Season
Nyjer Morgan, the most glorious weirdo in Major League Baseball, put the Mets away with a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth in Milwaukee last night. In his post-game interview with Fox Sports Wisconsin, Prince Fielder provided Morgan with a Gatorade bath, which this time around consisted ...

This Is The Lovely Cupcake Carrier Tony Romo Got For His Wedding
Your morning roundup for May 31, the day we crashed our souped-up snowmobile at a barbecue....

Tony Romo Had A Beautiful Wedding, Even Though He Invited Wade Phillips
Here's a photo of the happy couple. Read ESPN Dallas's report:...

Phillies Infielder Throws 10-Pitch 19th Inning To Close Out Joey Votto And The Reds
Your morning roundup for May 26, the day after Disney realized that it probably wasn't the best of ideas to trademark American heroes for profit....

All The Unkind Things Bill Simmons Said About His Colleagues In The ESPN Book
One of the most interesting characters to emerge from the ESPN book is the formerly inscrutable Bill Simmons, if only because we've never heard him be so (openly) self-aware before. He again whips out the big swinging dick in some more excerpts....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part III: The Fetid Breath Of The Bligle
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit chokes on a crab puff at a cocktail party. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna CV.")...

Chris Berman On <em>You're With Me, Leather</em>: "Mr. Kornheiser Chose To Run With It."
While the long-standing Kornheiser-Berman beef doesn't have the same initial draw of, say, Beadle-Andrews, its appearance in Those Guys Have All The Fun does lead us to the alleged root of everyone's favorite alleged pick-up line: You're with me, Leather....

Kyle Lohse Impersonates Tony La Russa (And All The Shingles Headlines We Opted Against Using)
• Kyle Lohse Was Just Missing A Shingle Thing In Today's Tony La Russa Impersonation • Kyle Lohse Shingles Out La Russa For Impersonation • Kyle Lohse Puts The Final Shingle On His La Russa Impersonation • Shingle File: Today In Tony La Russa Impersonations • Living Shingle: Kyle Lohse Does Tony L...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

Mike Greenberg Is Getting A Sitcom; Or, Why TV People Think You're An Idiot
The sitcom will revolve around a cipher of a sports talk show host, who's alternately paired with a boorish former athlete co-host and a long-suffering wife, so essentially Mike Greenberg, because Mike Greenberg has a fascinating life and a lot of TV people think you will be interested in watching a...

A Case Study In Incompetence: Dan Snyder's PR Guy, Tony Wyllie
Maybe you heard about the stunning display of asshattedness last week by Redskins proto-flack Tony Wyllie. The occasion: A University of Maryland College of Journalism “ethics in sports media” panel, to which Wyllie arrived late. Dan Snyder’s dumbass libel suit came up, at which point Wyllie offere...

Tony Kornheiser Finally, Frustratingly Weighs In On Dan Snyder
Kornheiser is the most visible members of the Washington DC sports media scene. He's also employed by Dan Snyder's radio broadcasting company, and ESPN. Because of the latter, he's been silent on the matter, and because of the former, that silence speaks volumes....