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![Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4naahk7376jpg.jpg)
Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]
Eye On College Football's Adam Jacobi is reporting that Joe Paterno has passed away following complications associated with chemotherapy he was receiving for lung cancer treatment. (CBS Sports has since retracted that report, after duping organizations far larger than ours.) There are also reports ...

Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League
Our own Luke O'Brien predicted in August a big season for American midfielder Clint Dempsey as he started his sixth season playing for Fulham in the EPL, and the past two weeks have borne that prediction in a big way. Dempsey followed his FA Cup hat trick two weeks ago with another today against ...

Are The Giants Really Better Than The 49ers?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

"Ice The Motherfucker," The Guy From <em>Good Times</em> Screamed At Muhammad Ali: A Weird Life, In 4 Boxing Matches
Earlier this week, an e-mail from John Kaye showed up in my inbox. I didn't know Kaye but soon learned that he'd written the 1980 film Where the Buffalo Roam, the ancestor to the Hunter S. Thompson movies of recent years. Kaye had just published a lengthy piece in the Los Angeles Review of Books ent...

The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....

Well, This Is Pretty Much The Worst Ending For A Horse Race
And this is why you should never play the ponies: the human element....

"The Fans Would Throw Little Tinfoils Of Hash At Me": A 1980 Interview With Bill "Spaceman" Lee, Baseball's Stoner Evangelist
The folks at The Golden Sombrero alerted us to this wonderful piece of baseball history: a 1980 High Times interview with pitcher Bill "Spaceman" Lee in which Lee holds forth on drugs, Bowie Kuhn, race, reincarnation, drugs, drug use, drug abuse, which drugs Expos fans threw to him in tribute, eatin...

Brian Downing, Alleged Alabama Teabagger, Has Turned Himself In
The Russell County, Ala., sheriff says Brian Downing—the man we identified this morning as the Alabama teabagger—visited the sheriff's office this afternoon with his attorney and spoke by phone with the New Orleans police detective investigating the teabagging incident....

The Patriot Way Is Now A Load Of Shit
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

The Verducci Effect Is Overworked And Broken Down
Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci came out with his annual "Year After Effect" column yesterday, based on his hypothesis that that young pitchers tend to break down the season after an increased workload. Specifically, a pitcher 25 and under is supposed to be at risk if he pitched at least 30 more i...
![Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4nf25ax1bojpg.jpg)
Is This The Alabama Teabagger? [UPDATE]
A tipster told us the other day that the assailant in the Krystal teabagging incident—a "sexual battery," as far as New Orleans police are concerned—was a man named Brian Downing from Phenix City, Ala. We think we've found him. ...

Disney's ESPN's Bill Simmons Has Committed 98 Potential SOPA Violations On Grantland So Far
ESPN's just one of the prominently featured supporters of SOPA, the law that has your favorite non-Deadspin sites going black today....
![Peyton Manning Will Retire Today, Reports ... Rob Lowe [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17fxy9elg3zcojpg.jpg)
Peyton Manning Will Retire Today, Reports ... Rob Lowe [UPDATE]
Tweets the Parks and Recreation and West Wing actor: "Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow." We'd tell you to be wary, after Jermaine Dupri mistakenly reported that Dwight Howard to the Nets was a done deal, but this is Rob Lowe. He's so handsome....

9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous
The Parent Encouragement Program is a series of classes and workshops that are available to parents living in the D.C. area. The introductory class is free, and so I went a couple of weeks ago, because it didn't cost anything and because I need all the help I can get. The title of the workshop was "...

"Am I Sick? Are We All Sick?": Overwrought Things The Media Wrote To Auburn's PR Guy During Cam Newton's Wild 2010 Season
A few months ago, we asked Auburn for all correspondence between the media and the football team's spokesman, Kirk Sampson, during the Tigers' 2010 season. We weren't looking for anything specific; we only wanted to get a sense of what it's like on the inside when the press descends on one story—in ...

Brand Leadership: The Scene At The Penn State President's New York Town Hall
The last place any sane person wanted to be this past Friday night was the Marriott hotel in Manhattan's financial district. The hotel's grand ballroom would be a good setting for a bad prom, complete with an ugly red carpet and garish inverted-pyramid chandeliers. An uneasy crowd of about 300 Penn ...

Alabama TV Station Airs Teabagging Video That Features The Son Of The Station's Sports Director
Mobile, Ala.'s WKRG opened its 10 p.m. newscast with the video of an Alabama fan teabagging an LSU fan at the Bourbon Street Krystal after the BCS title game. What WKRG failed to mention is that one of the stars of the video is none other than Patrick Setterstrom, a recent college grad and son of th...

Could A Barefoot QB Succeed In The NFL?
Before we get to the Funbag, one quick note: There will be a book signing on Thursday night in DC at the Dodge City bar at 8pm. I'll be around to get drunk and answer your questions about whether nor not Peter King has ever sent me angry emails (Answer: SORT OF!)....

Mike Martz Gave Us Something To Believe In, Even If We Shouldn't
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Stop Whatever You're Doing, And Watch This Sad Drunk Lady Cry About The Packers Loss
I can't. I can't even do this. Thank you Giants, and thank you Internet, and thank you Megan for being a better cameraperson than friend....