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This Evening: Ole Miss Hat Girl Has Creepy Online Suitors
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 6, the day we discovered a huge-ass crocodile. Reader Ryan sent the above photo and wrote, "I lost a bill on this game but it was worth it when a camera caught this girl. I found out my future wife is in Oxford but I need your help. Can we get some intel on this young la...

Roger Goodell Enforces The Laws That Roger Goodell Came Up With Just Now
Jim Tressel followed in the footsteps of his protégé Terrelle Pryor by jumping to the NFL, and he's going to suffer silently on the sidelines along with him. Yesterday the Colts announced Tressel will sit out the first six weeks, a penalty that was self-imposed because the Commissioner's office was ...

Steve Carlton Really Was A One-Man Team In 1972
Joe Posnanski presents a backhanded defense of the old-fashioned statistic of baseball pitchers' wins today. True, the "winning pitcher" depends on his teammates playing defense and scoring runs for him; yes, great pitchers in bad circumstances can produce feeble win totals, and bad pitchers for gre...

Maryland's Play-Calling Last Night Was Even More Unsightly Than Its Uniforms
Your morning roundup for Sept. 6, the day heroin mills went corporate. Photo courtesy of Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

I-Team: Who's The "Totally Single Virgin" Who Advertised Her Phone Number At Fenway Park Today?
Sometimes, investigative subjects make tracking them down an easy task for Deadspin's I-Team. Take Blonde with a Nearly Empty Beer and Dark Nail Polish, for instance. If you read the sign closely, you can see she was going for "Call me, I've never seen the Red Sox play before today." So don't read ...

Fox Sports Apologizes To "The Entire USC Community" For Segment That Singled Out USC's Asian Students
Yesterday, Fox Sports aired a segment that featured Bob Oschack giving USC students a "good, old-fashioned All-American welcome" to Colorado and Utah, the newest members of the Pac-1012. The gimmick: Oshack only interviewed Asian USC students—because in the world of misguided network television humo...

Never Teach Your Kids About Lightning
I have a 5-year-old kid. One of my jobs as a parent is to read books to the kid so that the kid can be smart and make lots of money and eventually buy me a big fucking house that I can drunkenly vomit all over, Gloria James-style. One of the things every parent should do before reading a book to a c...

Fred Taylor Retires A Jaguar, But How Much Does His One-Day Contract Pay?
"There are no dumb questions." That was a promising way for the Jaguars' representative to open the conversation when he returns my call regarding what I presumed was a dumb, dumb question....

Is This Wisconsin OC Paul Chryst Drinking And Dipping His Way Through A 51 Point Outburst?
We saw Twitter buzz about this last night, but this morning a tipster who shall remain nameless ("College football fans are crazy. I don't need people tracking down my Facebook account or anything.") sent along two screengrabs of Wisconsin offensive coordinator Paul Chryst appearing to spit tobacco ...

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Deadspin Kicks Off The College Football Season
We love college football so much, we will spend the season ranking the sport according to its own logic, even where that logic might seem demented or self-contradictory. What matters: winning. Tradition. A tradition of winning. Crushing your rivals. Sportsmanship. Running up the score. Class. Swagge...

Introducing Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So
Some people hate college football. Some people are obsessed with criticizing college football. The Deadspin College Football Top 25 Or So loves college football. We love college football so much, we will spend the season ranking the sport according to its own logic, even where that logic might seem ...

This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game
Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Watch Poor Ortis Deley Become The Laughingstock Of The World
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 31, the day we learned Bob's erection took on the consistency of Silly Putty. [Deley Video from SportsTvJobs/Deley's storybook firing here.] Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Broadcast People: We'll Pay For Old Footage Of Things Like That Fenway Three-Way And Chris Berman Yelling At The Help
Over the years, Deadspin has hosted some ESPN footage that was never intended for air: There was Chris Berman berating the MNF production staff, and more recently a Fenway fingerblast from 1995. (You might also recall the Bill O'Reilly "Fuck it, we'll do it live" video.) These videos first popped ...

Michael Vick's $100 Million Contract Is A Lie
Everything you need to know about the NFL and its courtier press can be summed up in a single sentence: Michael Vick's much-heralded "$100 million deal" is not a $100 million deal, and the widely reported "$40 million guaranteed" is in fact neither $40 million nor completely guaranteed. ...

Watch Highlights From A Summer-League Game In Which LeBron And Durant Do A Lot Of Dunking
The Goodman and Melo league teams played in front of about 5,000 people at Morgan State University in Baltimore last night. Carmelo Anthony had recruited LeBron James and Chris Paul to join the Baltimore side, which means that this game was much more Kevin Durant vs. King James than it was D.C. vs...

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...

This Evening: The Giant Fish Tank That Doubles As A Headboard On Chad Ochocinco's Bed
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 30, the day we learned you weren't comfortable knowing you were our masturbation fodder. Photo courtesy Shutdown Corner, via Sportress of Blogitude. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
