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Look At The Fucking End Of This Trend: Sayonara, Hoopsters
The Hoopsters brought us a lot of enjoyment over the last two months. However, now that summer's over and the New York Times is writing about them—and quoting me—it's time to say goodbye....

Embracing The Dog Killer: Michael Vick Is The Best Football Player In The Universe Ever
Last August I interrupted a weeknight of carousing to go home and write about my hometown Eagles' signing of Michael Vick because I was just so dumbfounded by the move. My headline was "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST." It's more apt now....

John Salley Story Corner: Dennis Rodman Will Blow Up Your Spot
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: getting your spot blown up by Dennis Rodman...

The One Where Erin Andrews And Kirk Herbstreit Rumors Resurface
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. If you're new, read this to figure out what we do here. If not, well, let's get down to business....

Fight Night On 9/11: A Lust For Destructo Porn And The Folly Of Creative Boxing
LAS VEGAS — On Sept. 11, firefighters in Clark County, Nev., somberly parked their trucks in front of the New York, New York casino, complementing a fake NY Fire boat on a fake lake underneath a fake Statue of Liberty....

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Vaginal Bear Trap Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

How A College Kid's Photograph Helped Launch Denard Robinson's Heisman Candidacy
In the last two weeks, while racking up more total yardage on his own than 86 teams, Denard Robinson, Michigan's dreadlocked, dual-threat quarterback, emerged as the early favorite to win the Heisman Trophy. The longer his campaign lasts, the more it could revolve around one student's photograph....

Here Are Some Grisly Photos Of A Sailor's Body Parts After Being Eaten By This Tiger Shark
Yesterday, we pointed you to this story about the poor sailor chomped by a tiger shark off the coast of the Bahamas. Underwater Times has the gruesome after photos. If you have a quick gag reflex, do not continue....

"Look At The Tree" Tornado Video Is The East Coast's "Double Rainbow"
So, we had a tornado here in New York yesterday evening. Most people took it in stride. These bros in Brooklyn freaked right the fuck out. Let's enjoy....

Steve Mariucci Eats Hog
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

A Gallery Of Ines Sainz Galleries
Inspired by Abe Sauer's slideshow of World Cup Babe Slideshows, we are proud to present a gallery of Ines Sainz galleries from around the web....

Letter From An Aging Male Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Give Me An Erection
If the possibility of getting fired or divorced or nonexistent Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz right now and profess my undying love for her....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 5
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 5: The season ends with a "fucking" flurry....

Ines Sainz's Biggest Defender Once Said Erin Andrews "Encouraged" Her Stalker
Erin Andrews was subjected to a personal violation, and one pundit said she was "playing to the frat house." That's a short step away from "she was asking for it," and that pundit is now leading the charge against reporter harassment....

Letter From A Young Female Sportswriter: Ines Sainz, You Make Me Want To Stop Trying
If rationality and feminism and mediocre Spanish skills didn't stop me, I would write to Ines Sainz and ask her to tell me why she does what she does for a living....

More Ines Sainz Outrage From Male Readership: "This Bitch Wants Her Cake And Eat It Too."
As we enter Day 4 of Ines Sainz disrupting the lives of the Jets, the NFL PR department, and every newspaper columnist in America, we continue to receive more unhinged emails from readers willing to speak with unfiltered honesty....

Day One At Dink Inc.: A Woman Begins Her Odyssey Through Sports Gambling's Underworld
Beth Raymer moved to Vegas in 2001, hoping to land a cocktail-waitressing job. Instead, she wound up the girl Friday to a gambler named Dink, from whom she learned that one "takes" the dog, "lays" the favorite, and never, ever steals....

Here's An Angry Email From A Man Who Supports Clinton Portis' Comments About Females In Locker Rooms
Earlier, Portis was scolded by the NFL for his wacky remarks about the Ines Sainz scenario, but we're happy to report that he has one staunch supporter who reads this site....

How To Ruin Your Father’s Wedding To A Gold-Digging Whore
The easiest test of human intelligence is taking someone to Taco Bell and seeing if they order a drink size bigger than small, even though the refills are free. Now, your letters:...

Your Comments Will Now Be Judged Differently
Yes. I know. Who's excited about a change in the commenting system? YAY. But, this time, I think you'll find these new additions helpful in your quest to become a commenting superstar. Pickle?...