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Olympics Field Guide: Alise Post, The 21-Year-Old "Beast” Of Women's BMX
Name: Alise Post...

Appreciating The Genius Of Joey Chestnut Requires Watching Him Eat In Super-Slow Motion
Joey Chestnut retained the mustard-yellow belt at Coney Island today with a command performance, consuming 68 hot dogs (and buns) in ten minutes and falling just shy of setting a new "official" record....

Better Know An Umpire: Hunter Wendelstedt
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

How To Eat 1 Gallon, 9 Ounces Of Ice Cream In 12 Minutes Without Getting A Headache: The Secrets Of Ed "Cookie" Jarvis
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: Ed "Cookie" Jarvis, a 46-year-old real estate agent, married father of two, cancer survivor, and retired competitive eater....

Bristolmetrics: Amid College Football Chaos, ESPN Reports On Which Games Will Be Seen On ESPN
When last we met, Roger Clemens was the most important defendent, the NBA ended but continued to dominate, and Rick Reilly continued to lift his own material. What would this week bring? ...

Olympics Field Guide: Peter Hudnut, Water Polo's Comeback Kid
Name: Peter Hudnut...

Congratulations, You Are Chris Broussard's Source
Perpetual late-comer Chris Broussard hasn't had a good evening with his "sources." Earlier this evening, he was comically slow on the news that Deron Williams had re-upped with the Brooklyn Nets to the tune of five years and $100 million. How did we know Williams had agreed to stay with the Nets? W...

Meet Your Gold-Medal-Favorite 2012 U.S. Olympic Gymnastic Team (And The Men, Too)
There weren't many surprises in the United States women's gymnastic team that emerged this past weekend from two days of all-around competition at the Olympic trials. This was the set of gymnasts that we seemed destined to end up with for months now, or at least since returning Olympic champion Nast...

The Grierson & Leitch July 4 Extravaganza: Movies That Made Us Love America
Today and yesterday, Grierson & Leitch honors America by spotlighting films that exemplify the best our country has to offer—and the worst. Yesterday: Movies that made us feel worse about America. Today: Movies that made us love this goddamned country. ...

Sorry, Mario Balotelli Didn't Really Make This German Fan Cry: How TV Lied To You During Euro 2012
In the 36th minute of the Euro 2012 semifinal, Mario Balotelli scored his second goal, a screamer to the top right corner. Balotelli ripped off his jersey and flexed, and the telecast cut to a woman in the stands, a German flag painted on her cheek, a single tear leaking from her eye....

The Time I Got Stool Softener For My Ear Because My Earwax Was Stabbing My Brain, And Other Poop Stories
Hello, little lambs. It's me, some lady! You might remember me from yelling about vagina over at Jezebel, or from that time one year ago when Drew went on vacation and I wrote a weird Funbag about banana phones and jism. Can you believe it's been an entire year? ME NEITHER. But now Drew has up and l...

Dontrelle Willis Retires. Mark Prior Tries To Make A Comeback. Baseball Remains A Sadistic Bastard.
Dontrelle Willis retired on Monday at the age of 30, bringing to an end one of the most baffling baseball careers of the past decade. The day before, Mark Prior, nursing an oblique strain, threw a bullpen session for the Pawtucket Red Sox. He hadn't pitched in a game since June 21, when he scuffled ...

Olympics Field Guide: Im Dong-Hyun, The Lethal Blind Archer
Name: Im Dong-Hyun...

How To Burp Like A World Champ In 5 Steps, Featuring Competitive Eater And Burping World Champ Tim Janus
The results from the 2011 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest tell us that Tim "Eater X" Janus is the third-best hot-dog eater in the world. He owns world records for speed-eating burritos, sushi, and ramen noodles....

The Grierson & Leitch July 4 Extravaganza: Movies That Made Us Feel Crappy About America
Today and tomorrow, Grierson & Leitch honors America by spotlighting films that exemplify the best our country has to offer—and the worst. Today: Movies that made us feel worse about America. ...

Tony La Russa: Asshole Or Dipshit? Let's Discuss!
Tony La Russa was never the cuddliest of MLB managers, and he's done a lot of things that would preclude him from ever being invited to anyone's Christmas party. But the big question remains, is La Russa a dipshit or an asshole? Let's settle this in the discussion section below....

What If Joe Paterno Was Innocent? Hypothetical Dialogues From A Dark Time At Penn State
Circumstantially, the Jerry Sandusky case keeps getting worse and worse for Joe Paterno. Circumstantially. This past weekend, CNN described an email that Penn State's now-former athletic director, Tim Curley, allegedly sent to other university officials in 2001, canceling plans to report Sandusky to...

The Second Time They Met, Jeffrey Maier Didn't Dare Mess With Tony Tarasco
When I met Jeffrey Maier, he was Coach Maier and I had no idea who he was. Of course I remembered the boy who stole an out from two feet above Tony Tarasco's glove and turned it into an eight inning, game-tying home run in the '96 ALDS. The Yankees would win the game, and the series, and the champio...

ESPN Didn't Try That Hard To Keep Erin Andrews: How The Sideline Reporter Wound Up At Fox
Everyone in Bristol figured Erin Andrews would return. Andrews told SI's Richard Deitsch:...

Former Olympic Champion Nastia Liukin Faceplants After Her Dad Fails To Spot Her Correctly
2008 Olympic women's gymnastics all-around champion and Subway sandwich spokesperson Nastia Liukin will likely take no part in this year's London Games after an embarrassing uneven bars fall she can blame as much on her coach/spotter/dad Valeri Liukin as she can her own mistake. ...