tree Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![We Are All Living In Hell [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
We Are All Living In Hell [Update]
There is no ever-loving deity. There is only Satan himself, handling the levers and pulleys that guide our lives, our limbs, our souls. Update: ...

Marvelous Work, 49ers
Today’s NFL matchups have resulted in some of the worst professional football we’ve seen in years. Here is just one contribution from the San Francisco 49ers....

The Jacksonville Jaguars, Everybody
The Jags had pinned Oakland back for fourth-and-24, and the Raiders made things even harder on themselves by botching the punt’s long snap. The result of the play? First down, Oakland....

Yes, This Is Awesome
You don’t need to watch any more football today, because you won’t see anything as good as this....

Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United
Pedro made mincemeat of Man United defense en route to giving Chelsea a 1-0 lead just 30 seconds into their match today at Stamford Bridge. Let’s give Marcos Alonso a hand for the assist, too....

Penn State Shocks Ohio State With Winning Touchdown Off Blocked Field Goal
Unranked Penn State knocked off #2 Ohio State when Grant Haley scooped up a blocked Buckeyes field goal and took it to the end zone, giving the Nittany Lions a 24-21 win after their defense stopped J.T. Barrett and the Buckeyes offense....

Look Out!!! Look Out!!! Look Out!!!
Leonard Fournette isn’t done putting defenders in their place....

J.T. Barrett Swarmed By Three Defenders In Backfield; Somehow Turns It Into 19-Yard Gain
Ohio State quarterback J.T. Barrett is an absolute magician. Here he avoids three Penn State defenders surrounding him in the backfield and gets 19 yards in a play that looked so impossible officials decided to review it (and upheld the results after getting a second look)....

I'd Watch Javier Baez Read A Book
I watched most of Game 5 of the NLCS in a noisy bar, but it wasn’t the same experience I usually have while watching a game in public. Instead of glancing at the screen every now and then just to check the score while drinking and chatting, I found myself much more concerned with what was happening ...

BYU Commits Crime Against Football With Incredibly Futile Fake Punt
Almost had it fellas!...

BYU Pick-Six A Masterful Display Of Avoiding Tackles
Fred Warner picked off a Brett Rypien pass and returned it 59 yards to give BYU its first touchdown of the night against Boise State, and he did so with so much flair it required a lengthy replay review—one that, eventually, upheld the play....

L.A. Sparks Win WNBA Finals After Insane Final Two Minutes
The Los Angeles Sparks took down the mighty Minnesota Lynx in a wild Game 5 this evening to win the franchise’s third championship. The last two minutes of the game were an incredible back-and-forth affair; Lindsey Whalen tied it up at 71 with 1:47 left, then Nneka Ogwumike gave the Sparks the lead...

Dude Misses Dunk, Somehow Produces A Spectacular Highlight Anyway
This, my friends, is a pretty goddamn special basketball highlight....

If Mesut Özil Keeps Scoring Like This, The World Better Watch Out
In Arsenal’s blowout win against Ludogorets yesterday, Mesut Özil scored three goals in the second half. I repeat: Mesut “I Live To Pass And I Never, Ever Shoot So Don’t Ask Me To” Özil scored a hat trick yesterday in the Champions League, increasing his season tally to six goals in 10 games. This i...

Lionel Messi Must Really Hate Pep Guardiola And England
If there have been two criticisms that have followed Lionel Messi around though his career like yappy little dogs nipping at his ankles—too insignificant to be an actual threat, and just persistent enough to register as a minor annoyance—they have been these: First, he had the good fortune of playin...

Arsenal Are Out Here Just Embarrassing These Jamokes
This is the happy time in every Arsenal season. Everyone is healthy, their world-class players are playing up to their reputations, their really good players are playing out of their minds, and their title dreams still seem eminently, thrillingly tangible. In today’s Champions League match against L...

Dmitry Orlov Flipped Matt Duchene
It is not often we start the morning blog march with a hip check. But, as T.J. Oshie mused of Dmitry Orlov’s hit that sent Matt Duchene tumbling helmet-over-skates, “that was one of the cooler hits that I’ve ever seen.”...

I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time
Never has an eskimo kiss caused so much imaginary pain....

Nicolas Batum Totally Blows Easy Buzzer-Beater
Before we get too far into this blog, a caveat: It’s the preseason, so this failed buzzer-beater means exactly dick. That said, it was very funny....