trump Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Corresponding With Trump Supporters
You and I have our own ideas about why people voted for Donald Trump. But there is more value to be had in hearing it from Trump supporters themselves. Like these....
You've Been Warned
If the very worst happens, it won’t be because we didn’t know that it might happen. We have all been amply warned. ...
Newt Gingrich Is In A Dark Place<em></em>
Newt, my boy. My dear, morally bankrupt Newt. What did Mr. Trump do to you? Did he hurt you? You can tell us. You don’t have to do this....
Barry Switzer Was Just Fucking With Everyone When He Said He Met With Donald Trump
Former NFL coach Barry Switzer was spotted walking into Trump Tower in New York City a few weeks ago, and because President-elect Donald Trump has gone about filling his cabinet with ghouls, hacks, and the heinously unqualified, nobody thought twice when Switzer told reporters he was there to meet w...
The Year In Ted Cruz Humiliations
There’s never exactly a good time to be Ted Cruz. His mannerisms are stilted, his friends are nonexistent, and he has far more skin than any one human should ever possess. There are, however, less-bad times to be Ted. And 2016 was not one of those years....
Here's How You Drain The Swamp
After promising to “drain the swamp,” Donald Trump has assembled a leadership team of billionaires, bankers, hedge fund guys, and the power-mad detritus of the Republican party. Sad! We could still drain that swamp with a couple of easy rules. ...
Trump Nominates Florida Panthers Owner As Secretary Of The Army
President-elect Donald Trump announced today that he intends to nominate billionaire Florida Panthers owner and army veteran Vincent Viola as the Secretary of the Army, a non-cabinet level position. The Panthers said Viola’s appointment will not change anything about the team’s day-to-day operations...
The Government Is Out Of The Equality Business
After the financial crisis and the Occupy era, “inequality” became a mainstream political issue. And the Obama administration made some quantifiable progress. Now? Prepare for the reverse. ...
Daddy Trump Let Lil' Donnie Pick The Interior Secretary Most Likely To Let Him Kill Things<em></em>
Donald Trump Jr., an avid hunter and even more avid hunting message board user, will officially be taking over the family business come inauguration day. This means that there’s absolutely no world in which Don Jr. should be meddling in his father’s pending presidency whatsoever. Except, apparently,...
Is This What We Want?
Ultimately, we are the ones who decide what we will demand from the people we put into power. Which is why we will always get what we deserve. ...
Lakers Decide Not To Stay At Trump-Branded Hotel Over "Security Concerns"
According to a report from the Los Angeles Times, the Los Angeles Lakers will not be staying at the Trump SoHo hotel this week. They were initially scheduled to stay there in advance of their game in Brooklyn against the Nets on Wednesday, but they decided not to because of “security concerns.” Supp...
Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...
Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes<em></em><em></em>
Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of co...
This <i>Seinfeld</i> Reboot Sucks
Donald Trump, who will be spending the next four years traveling around the country doing stand-up, took some time today to give his hungry constituents what they crave: good, clean observational humor. ...
Donald Trump Names WWE's Linda McMahon To Head Small Business Administration
Because life is one cruel joke after another, Linda McMahon, former president and CEO of the WWE, has been named to head up President-elect Donald Trump’s Small Business Administration....
Real Piece Of Shit Column: Corruption Is Fine
As much as Republicans groaned about Donald Trump, they were always destined to fall in line once he actually had power. They are still falling. ...
Liberals Cheering On The Electoral College Dope Who Won't Vote For Donald Trump Is Really Frightening
Last night, the New York Times published an editorial written by Christopher Surpun, a “Republican presidential elector” from Texas who says that he will not cast his electoral college vote for Donald Trump, despite Trump winning the state by nine points. Surpun doesn’t say who he will vote for, but...
LeBron James And A Few Teammates Opt Out Of Team's Scheduled Stay At Trump-Branded Hotel
The Cleveland Cavaliers are visiting New York this week to play the Knicks on Wednesday, but LeBron James and a few other Cavaliers players will not be staying at a Trump-branded hotel in Manhattan, per reports from ESPN and the Cleveland Plain Dealer. The Cavs were not among the three teams who de...
Despair Is The Best Way To Beat Jet Lag, But These Might Work Too
After a few years of not leaving these fine United States, this month I flew around the world and back twice, due to poor planning on my part and unmovable family obligations. (You can’t just reschedule your cousin’s wedding, it turns out.) Having zoomed across 12 time zones four separate times, I c...
Get A Load Of This Ascot-Wearing, Wine-Toting Anti-Trump Philadelphia Vandal
Last week, two men spray painted “FUCK TRUMP!” on the wall of a Philadelphia Fresh Market. (That’s like a cut-rate Whole Foods.) They were a bit haphazard with their vandalism and got caught on security cameras by the grocery store. This is not a particularly notable case on its merits, and would be...