two Page 39 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while changing your Facebook status ... a lot ... • NHL: Ovechkin "strikes out" in SuperSkills' breakaway challenge. • NBA: Bzzzzzzz ... Hornets sting Spurs by 24 to take the top spot in the West. • Tennis: Djokovic imitates Djokovic winning the Australian Open....
So, Um, Yeah, About Last Night
What you missed while pissing mediocrity ... • NBA: Kobe's 40 not enough to beat Mavs. 48 would've done the trick though. • Golf: Tiger leads Buick by four-strokes at 12-under. *Silent pump fist* • Tennis: Sex sells ... and wins. Sharapova claims her third Grand Slam title with a 7-5, 6-3 victory ov...
The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...
Patriots Fans Are Deranged, Buxom
A lot of people say that they're Patriots' fans, but how many are willing to bare their breasts for the cause? (No, not you, sir; please sit down). Sorry if I'm late to the party with this, but I've only just heard of wannabe actress Cheryl Ling, who is better known as the topless Patriots superfan ...
About Last Night
What you missed while swimming laps with Sean C. Reilly ... • NFL: History was never really my thing. Patriots 38, Giants 35. • Alamo Bowl: Live, JoePa, live! Penn State erases early deficit to beat Texas A&M. • NBA: Tyson Chandler, clairvoyant. Hornets 86, Cavs 76....
About Last Night
What you missed while frantically sculpting a purple Ferris wheel ... • Champs Sports Bowl: Eagles extend nation's longest meaningless bowl winning streak to eight. B.C. 24, Michigan State 21. • NBA: OK, this is getting a tad bit ridiculous. Blazers win their 12th in a row. • NHL: Three shots. Three...
The NFL Network Cries Uncle
By now, you've seen the news that the NFL Network is being forced to simulcast its huge game Saturday night on CBS and NBC. (Apparently, Fox has something better to do.) We couldn't be more pleased, not just because we can, you know, actually watch one of the more important games of the year, but al...
Presenting The Deadspin Word Of The Year
"Attention: It's 5 p.m., and the San Francisco Zoo is now closed. If you are still here by 5:15, we will release the tigers. Thank you." Yes, a tiger got loose at the SF Zoo on Tuesday, mauling three people, one of whom died. Tragic, to be sure; but imagine the mayhem if it would have been a Fuck Li...
About Last Night
What you missed while gettin' busy livin' ... • NFL: Shaun Hill is undefeated; third-string QB leads 49ers over Bengals. • NBA: Spurs top Nuggets in Duncan's return; Matt Bonner not impressed. • Div. III Football: ♫ Mt. Union goes falling down a-down to UW-Whitewater / That's cuz the Beaver learned ...
The Thrilling Nature Of An NFC Wild-Card Elimination Game
The NFL Network was crowing about its Cowboys-Packers ratings last week. Let's see how they do with a game much fewer people care about....
The Biggest Game Millions Can't Watch
We don't blame Jerry Jones — seen here hugging Brett Favre after a Packers-Cowboys game from years past; you can tell it was a while ago, because you can't see Jones' skull — for not understanding that not every football fan can just switch from Time Warner (which doesn't carry the NFL Network and ...
Zero Is The Loneliest Number
Gilbert Arenas will be lost to the Washington Wizards for three months. Official reason: knee surgery. But nowhere in the Wizards' press release will you find mention of Agent Zero's real disability. No amount of rehab will cure a broken heart. He writes about the breakup with his girlfriend on his ...
About Last Night
What you missed getting stuck in the chimney ... • CFB: Unbeaten no more. Daniel and his No. 3 Tigers knock off No. 2 Jayhawks. • NBA: Jesus at the buzzer ... GOOD! Hallelujah! Boston 96, Charlotte 95. • CBB: Hansbrough scores 21; No. 1 UNC survives BYU scare....
About Last Night
What you missed while trying to close that damn fence ... • CFB: Hawaii beats Boise St. to win WAC title; Colt demands your respect!. • NBA: They call him The Big Rebirth; Shaq leads Heat over Rockets, 98-91. • CBB: Freshman Eric Gordon drops 30 plus change again; No. 8 Indiana rolls....
About Last Night
What you missed while droppin' a deuce up on the roof ... • NHL: Roenick scores his 500th career goal with a child on his back. • College Football: LSU destroys LA Tech, eyes that number one spot! (Woo, hey!) • NBA: Brandon Roy has career best 32, ends Blazers losing streak to Mavs....
About Last Night
What you missed while analyzing gRAPhs ... • NBA: Yao's Rockets beat Yi's Bucks. China politely applauds. • NHL: I hope the Discovery Channel caught this: Ducks defeat Sharks in shootout. • College Football: Rutgers Ray Rice rushes for rool-record. Hey, alliteration!...
Suddenly, People Have Noticed No One's Watching The NFL Network
More than a year since the channel was born, The NFL Network is still struggling. We're not sure why; maybe it's because the citizens of the largest city in the country can't get it on their local cable providers. That might have something to do with it. And now owners are beginning to wonder whethe...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while learning the intricacies of chess ... • MLB: Oh, there will be a Game 5; I'm absolutely sure. Indians 13, Sox 6. • College Football: Kentucky shocks No. 1 LSU; Oregon St. upsets No. 2 Cal. The anarchy! • Boxing: Holyfield's quest for a fifth heavyweight title ends ... now let's...