ty Page 456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane
Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has wo...
Jags Coach: Bernard Pierce May Have Blocked For The Wrong Team Because He Had A Concussion
Jacksonville Jaguars running back Bernard Pierce made a bit of news after his team’s game on Sunday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, wherein he blocked for the other team during a second-quarter kickoff. It was a funny, surprising little brain fart that became even funnier after the game when Pierc...
Getting A Little Ahead Of Yourself There, Governor
The Houston Astros, who just lost Game 4 of the ALDS 9-6, were up by five runs on the Royals in the seventh inning. That’s when Texas Governor Greg Abbott decided to send a very bad tweet....
Replay Is Turning Baseball Into Football And I Hate It
The play above was a crucial moment in today’s ALDS game between the Royals and Astros. Down 3-2 with two outs in the top of the seventh, Royals pinch runner Terrance Gore attempted to steal third base. Despite beating the throw and the tag easily, Gore was called out—not because the umpire blew the...
New Yorkers! Tonight’s Varsity Letters reading series, presented by Gelf Magazine, should be a good one. It’s Madden-themed, so 538’s Walt Hickey and Neil Paine will be there to discuss their story on how the game gets made, and SB Nation’s Jon Bois will talk about his Breaking Madden series. More d...
Chiefs Fans Scrap It Out In Stadium Bathroom
Was someone trying to cut? Did one of them dribble on the other guy’s shoes? Did they wash their hands after? Why is one of the numerous Break It Up Guys wearing flip flops? So many questions, so few answers....
Jamaal Charles Goes Down With Scary Knee Injury (UPDATES)
Jamaal Charles went down without contact after he tried to cut into a hole, which he fell before he could get to, in the third quarter of today’s game against the Bears. Charles limped off the field with help. The Chiefs led Chicago 17-3 when Charles went down, but they gave up 15 straight to lose 1...
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Jason Bourne Is The Paranoid-Assassin Hero America Needed, And Deserved
I don’t know if I can call Matt Damon’s Bourne movies the best action franchise that’s come along thus far this century. After all, the original Fast and the Furious came out in 2001, a year before The Bourne Identity, and the idea of picking between Fast and Bourne is the kind of thing that makes m...
The Tarp Always Wins
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Man City Academy Kids Flee, Return, Flee Again From Nutmeg Master's Skills
The purest physical distillation of what it feels like to have your mind blown by a feat of mastery is the innate urge to turn and sprint as far away as humanly possible from the scene of said feat. These Manchester City academy players repeatedly exhibit this behavior, which in itself is evidence e...
Root For The Royals In The Playoffs
It’s no longer the baseball preseason. Time to get your ass fired up for the regular fall season of America’s Pastime. Read all our playoff team previews here. Today, you’re getting to know … THE KANSAS CITY ROYALS....
How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse (And Other Disasters)
Virus outbreaks are popping up across the country, authorities are scrambling, the news is bleak, and you have no idea what’s going on. There are panicked rumors that zombies are behind the chaos and multiplying at a rapid pace, taking over one neighborhood at a time. Sirens are blaring across the c...
Sergio Agüero Goes Supernova, Scores 5 Goals in 20 Minutes
Manchester City were losing today’s match to Newcastle 1-0 for most of the first half until Sergio Agüero went all Robert Lewandowski and rung up five quick goals to kill the game dead in a matter of minutes. Incredibly, he did the Whole Shit with a mere nine touches. It was sudden and violent and N...
Watch The Mets Celebrate Clinching Through The Camera On Michael Conforto's Head
When a baseball team celebrates an accomplishment by spraying each other with gallon upon gallon of beer and champagne, there’s always a couple of players with some kind of camera strapped to their head. We see all sorts of media from these celebrations—high-quality photos, local news reports, even ...
Royals Broadcaster Perfectly Predicts Mike Moustakas's Home Run
With Mike Moustakas facing an 0-2 count in Wednesday night’s game, Fox Sports Kansas City announcer Ryan Lefebvre claimed that the Royals third baseman would not only get a curveball from White Sox pitcher Jose Quintana, but crush it for a home run into Kansas City’s bullpen. “He’s gonna sit on a ha...
Arizona State Sorority Girls Show Off Elite Selfie Skills At D-Backs Game
Alpha Chi Omega sisters from Arizona State University went to Wednesday night’s Diamondbacks game. Were selfies taken? Oh, you better believe selfies were taken. Hell, there were even a few chelfies (churro selfies)....
Debbie Does Drywall: Why Home-Renovation Porn Is My Favorite Porn
Have you ever harbored sexual feelings toward a granite countertop, or imagined that a dual-vanity sink was actually former Prince ingénue Vanity? If so, you’re likely already an avid fan of HGTV (Home & Garden Television, although gardens are scarce), a cable channel that makes the rigorous renovat...
<i>Purity </i>Went To Communist East Germany And Found Itself
We’ll move further along in Purity in just a moment. First, I want to relay the story of what happened the first time I opened the book up after the last dispatch, in which I discussed how much truer and more knowledgeably written Jonathan Franzen’s one-paragraph description of Santa Cruz’s weather ...