ty Page 529 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Draft Scouting Has Eaten Itself
We're less than a month from the draft, which means we're at the point where front-office personnel have mostly made up their minds and anything said about prospects is likely to make you demonstrably dumber. To wit:...

Here Are Nebraska Coaches' Talking Points About Unionization
How are other Big Ten schools handling the tectonic movements set off by the Northwestern football players' unionizing campaign? Very, very cautiously, it seems, to judge by the talking points handed down to Nebraska coaches by an associate athletic director....

49ers Linebacker Aldon Smith Detained At LAX After Bomb Mention
San Francisco 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport today, according to multiple reports....


Getafe Fan Successfully Stops Penalty Kick With Bare Ass Defense
Diego Costa failed to put his side up 2-0 at Getafe today when an Azulones supporter bared his ass in an attempt to distract the Atletico Madrid superstar during his penalty kick attempt....

Russell Westbrook Slips And Falls While Blocking A Worthless Shot
Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook has two modes: "on" and "torn meniscus."...

Ryan Smyth Says Goodbye
[Oilers forward Ryan Smyth played his final game Saturday night after 19 seasons in the NHL. He was understandably emotional, going out on the ice to thank Edmonton's fans afterwards. Smyth spent the majority of his career with the Oilers, and was named a captain for his last game. Photo by Derek Le...

Tampa Bay Lightning's Ryan Malone Charged With DUI, Cocaine Possession
Tampa Bay Lightning winger Ryan Malone was arrested and charged with driving under the influence and cocaine possession early Saturday morning....

The Time Brendan Shanahan Beat Up Some Obnoxious Yankees Fans
The Maple Leafs officially announced the hire of Brendan Shanahan as team president today, so it seems like a good time to dig up this old story of a younger, wilder Shanahan, beating the shit out of some Yankee Stadium bleacher creatures....

How Serious Is Tony Parker's Back Injury?
Tonight, Tony Parker will likely miss his third straight game with a back injury, and more than a few assume that Parker's "injury" is really just a cover for Gregg Popovich to rest his star before the playoffs. The injury, tweeted April 7th from the Spurs' official account as "a sprained facet join...

Name Of The Year 2014 Final: Shamus Beaglehole Vs. Chillie Poon
This is it. This is the showdown we've waited an entire year for (OK, more like five months). In one corner, we have Shamus Beaglehole: English footballer, #3 seed of the Sithole Regional, vanquisher of Curvaceous Bass and Dr. Loki Skylizard, and bearer of a last name that sounds like an old man's c...

Typo Dramatically Alters Meaning Of Sign About Beer Sales
A reader spotted this sign at the Colorado Rockies' home opener. Under normal circumstances, this is the kind of sign that would make a beer-guzzling baseball fan hang his head in sadness. But thanks to a typo, this sign suddenly transformed into a one-way ticket to party town, where the beers only ...

Why Paternity Leave Is Important, Even Though You’ll Hate It
Every few years, there's a big Hot Sports Take orgy because a pro athlete decided to skip a game for a birth and/or paternity leave. This year, it was Daniel Murphy's turn in the barrel, getting dumped on by Boomer Esiason and Mike Francesa after skipping two games after his kid was born. Esiason h...

David Feherty Does A Pretty Good Sean Connery Impression
The Golf Channel's David Feherty was a guest on the Dan Patrick Show this morning, and the conversation immediately turned to the quality of the broadcaster's Sean Connery impression. ...

The UFC Has A Human Rights Problem
One curious fact about the UFC of which a lot of people aren't aware is that the repressive government of Abu Dhabi owns a substantial minority stake in it. With the promotion staging a fight card there tomorrow, Bloody Elbow's Brent Brookhouse rightly figured it would be a good time to remind fans ...

Police: Victim Pressured To Not Press Charges Against Green-Beckham
Columbia police announced today that Missouri star wide receiver Dorial Green-Beckham will not be arrested in connection with an incident that occurred this weekend, when Green-Beckham allegedly forced his way into an apartment trying to locate his girlfriend and injured one of the residents. That v...

Chargers Logo Used To Spice Up Synthetic Chemistry Research
In an outstanding sports-nerd move, chemists at the Scripps Research Institute—located in the La Jolla neighborhood of San Diego—have managed to slip the Chargers logo into the research abstract of an upcoming Journal of the American Chemical Society paper. ...

Here's A Bunch Of ESPN Personalities Reciting The Gettysburg Address
You're probably wondering why the hell this exists. Well, it appears that Ken Burns is working on a documentary about the Gettysburg Address, and this is some kind of promo clip for it. ...

