ty Page 625 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

33 Bowl Games Ranked As If They Were Dishes
The custom of calling post-season collegiate contests "bowl" games stems from the granddaddy of them all, the Rose Bowl, so-called for the eponymous bowl-shaped stadium. But our first association with the word "bowl" of course is as a container, most often for food, keys, change, or cereal milk and ...

Avery Johnson Was A Dead Man Walking Even As He Accepted His Coach Of The Month Award
When the Nets fired Avery Johnson this past Thursday after he compiled a .500 record with a new and newly talented roster, many people noted that Johnson had suffered a particularly dramatic reversal of fortune: After going 11-4 in November, Johnson won Eastern Conference Coach of the Month; after t...

Philly Motorist Finds Snow-Drawn Penis With His Parking Ticket
As anyone who's ever tried street-parking a car in Center City Philadelphia knows, the town's parking authority is notoriously efficient at issuing tickets. But one unlucky driver discovered earlier today that the ticket isn't always the biggest dick move....

Harry Carey Jr., The Actor Who Gave Us Player In Dugout, Has Died At 91
Harry Carey Jr., an actor best known for his work in Westerns, died Thursday at the age of 91. Like many long-lived character actors of both silver and small screen, he was nothing if not prolific, and it's likely that anyone who watched much TV since the '40s managed to see him at some point, somew...

Alabama's Justice System Entirely Revolves Around Alabama Football
The Birmingham News reports that an Alabama civil court trial, set to begin on Jan. 7 (also and far more widely known as the day of the BCS championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame) has been postponed because one of the lawyers really, really likes Alabama football. An Alabama football fan i...

How To Make A Bean Dip: A Guide For New Year's Eve Partygoers Who Are Getting Too Old For This Shit
One of the things that changes when you become a haggard, grayfaced grownup is how you spend New Year's Eve. When you were a hip, attractive, energetic young person, you spent the night traipsing between crowded, noisy bars, meeting interesting people and talking excitedly about your plans for the f...

Your Crappy College Bowl Game Schedule And Open Thread
Schedule and broadcasters via, rankings from the final AP Poll of the regular season, all times (EST). If you haven't read our Shitty Bowl Games FAQ, read our Shitty Bowl Games FAQ....


Sean Payton Will Be Coaching The Saints For A Long Time
Cowboys fans were pre-disappointed last week, so this probably doesn't sting too badly: Two months after the NFL voided Sean Payton's contract with the Saints, sending fans in New Orleans into a gumbo-gobbling stress-eating binge, Payton has re-upped with the Saints for multiple years. Jay Glazer re...

College ShameDay: Would Air Force Losing To Rice Be Our Country's Most Shameful Military Defeat? A Shitty Bowl Games FAQ
Our weekly college football shame index previews the bowls through New Year's Eve. ...

The Year In ESPN Being Dumb
The Worldwide Leader once again dominated the sports scene in 2012, though not always for the reasons they'd prefer. In a year of Tebowmania and Linsanity, it was often the machinations inside Bristol that made for the most interesting news. Join us, won't you, as we look back on our favorite ESPN ...

Here Is The Police Report For The Sexual Assault Allegation Against Two University Of Texas Football Players
There have been no arrests, and the subjects of the investigation have not been identified by police, but Mack Brown has suspended quarterback Case McCoy and linebacker Jordan Hicks for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State, according to what sources told 247 Sports' Bobby Burton. Brown sa...

Former Louisville Football Player Files Lawsuit Alleging Assault Cover Up And NCAA Violation
On Dec. 21, former Louisville football player Patrick Grant filed a lawsuit against the university and head football coach Charlie Strong. In the lawsuit, Grant claims that he was asked to cover up the circumstances of an assault that he suffered at the hands of two teammates. On Oct. 24, 2010, Gra...

Do You Have To Be Physically Fit To Drive A Race Car?
You know what question I get asked most as a racecar driver? No, not, "Do you get scared?" and, amazingly, not even, "How fast does your car go?" The most commonly asked question is, "Why do you have to be fit to drive a racecar? All you do is sit down and turn a wheel?"...

Everything You Need To Know About New Browns Quarterback Thad "The Champ" Lewis
Per Mary Kay Cabot, Browns head coach until Monday Pat Shurmur announced today that third-string quarterback Thad Lewis would start against the Steelers in Week 17, as Brandon Weeden and Colt McCoy are terrible "dealing with injuries." Lewis will be the Browns' 18th starting quarterback since 1999,...

UFC 155: The Clumsy Marketing Of Cain Velasquez, UFC's Brown Ambassador
For a long time, Cain Velasquez, who will fight Junior Dos Santos for the UFC heavyweight title on Saturday, was a rumor. He trained in one of the world's best camps, in San Jose, Calif., and stories would filter out about his freak inexhaustibility, about how he would spar with good stand-up fighte...

Sean Elliott Is Hogging All Of San Antonio's Water
San Antonio has been dealing with a harsh Texas drought for the past two years, and the available water resources are dwindling. As a site that has dealt with pressing water bill issues in the past, we at Deadspin feel obligated to tell you that Spurs color commentator—and former player—Sean Elliot...

Hideki Matsui To Announce Retirement, Will Have Plenty Of Time To Enjoy His Massive Porn Collection
According to multiple reports, former Yankees outfielder Hideki Matsui is set to announce his retirement from baseball. Matsui played seven seasons with the Yankees before making one-year stops with the Angels, Athletics, and Rays. He will always be remembered for collecting big hits in Game 6 of t...

Mike Tyson Wanted To Call His Touring Vegas Lounge Act <em>Boxing, Bitches, Babies, And Lawsuits</em>
Mike Tyson has spent the last several months performing in a one-man multimedia stage show about his life, and it goes by the rather ordinary name of Undisputed Truth. The routine debuted in Vegas, hit Broadway, and is now fanning out across the country to bring all the drama of the Tyson saga to a ...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Poops All Over Mark Sanchez
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....