ty Page 671 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jose Canseco Is Suing The Worcester Tornadoes, Who Already Lost Their Shirts In Another Suit
Not in the idiomatic sense; some guy actually took the team's shirts away. The Worcester Tornadoes played a game wearing jerseys that said "The Grays" because the team's been passing off some bad checks. The uniforms were last used in 2007 by a Can-Am league traveling team....

Your Roger Clemens Frosted Tips Update
They are frosty. Very, very frosty. Also frosty for Clemens? The radar gun. The rocket got up to 88 miles per hour during his 3 1/3 innings. I should say, 3 1/3 shutout innings. He struck out two and allowed just one hit. Stay hot, 22! [NY Daily News]...

Rockets GM Daryl Morey Has A Counterintuitive And Analytic Reason For Giving Money To Mitt Romney
Mitt Romney is not a really popular guy, except in the Cayman Islands. Lots of people like him because he's not Barack Obama, and lots of people like him because his party's platform aligns with their personal views, but no one really seems to like Mitt for his essential Mittness. But Daryl Morey, t...

Reports: Boston Red Sox And Los Angeles Dodgers Agree To Crazy Trade
Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford and Josh Beckett appear to be on the move. While the teams have yet to officially announce the trade, barring any medical snafus or no-trade clause invocations, this crazy deal appears to be a crazy done deal. ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Miami Dolphins
Some people are fans of the Miami Dolphins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Miami Dolphins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own
Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

First, Kill All The Cyclists. <em>Premium Rush</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's difficult to overstate how much I dislike bicycle riders in New York City. (Collectively. I'm sure you, individual who rides his/her bike, are perfectly pleasant and normal ... when you're not on your bike.) Bike riders have taken over this city, and they are, almost entirely across the boar...

The Baseball Hall Of Fame Probably Wouldn't Change The Rules If Roger Clemens Pitched A Meaningless Game This Year
Yesterday we half-floated a conspiracy theory that Roger Clemens's impending comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters was a sneaky ploy to reappear in a major league game for the woeful Astros so that he might push his first hall of fame ballot appearance back five years, to 2017. So we reached out to ...

Why Your Website Sucks, By Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe: A Rebuttal
Some people are fans of Deadspin's Why Your Team Sucks previews. But now the shoe's on the other foot! Suck on this, you cocksuckers....

ESPN's Dan Dakich Says West Virginia's Former President Once Threatened To "Destroy" Him
Sunday's New York Times featured a lengthy story about Jonathan Hargett, a playground legend from Richmond who's now in prison on drug charges, years after his brief college basketball career at West Virginia never panned out. Hargett played at WVU in 2001-02, and an in-house investigation done at t...

Help Someone Give Away Her Cubs Tickets To A Family Who Could Use Them
Journalist Susannah Breslin writes to Deadspin:...

Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...

Scott Pioli Says He's Happy To Be Rid Of Todd Haley In The Most Passive-Aggressive Way Possible
This story was published Friday evening, so it fell a bit below our radar. But it's still worth sharing because, well ... you'll see. It involves Chiefs general manager Scott Pioli, and his take on training camp now that Todd Haley is no longer the team's head coach. Oh, wait. Pioli doesn't really s...

Bristolmetrics: The Jets Are America's Team, According To Tebow-Horny <em>SportsCenter</em>
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Roger Clemens And The Astros Might Just Be In Cahoots
The Astros have a lot of problems. Have you seen the lineup they're running out there every night? It's Jose Altuve, Brett Wallace, and then a lot of quadruple-A players with no business sniffing a big-league starting lineup. Need Justin Maxwell? Astros got him. Need Scott Moore? He's a 'Stro. Wonde...

Bartolo Colon Tests Positive For Testosterone, Suspended 50 Games
Like his Dominican compatriot Melky Cabrera, who also plays on the west coast and tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games by MLB, Bartolo Colon had recently been playing better than we expected him to. Colon, who pitched for the Yankees last year and Oakland this year, had a ...

Bernie Brewer Wished Randy Wolf A Happy Birthday Right Before Milwaukee Released Him
Bernie Brewer is a fun-loving mascot, even by mascot standards. He wears a mustard mustache and brings joy and malty hops to all the children of the greater Milwaukee area. Usually. Sometimes he has a sick sense of humor. Sometimes he's a raging asshole. Like today....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

It's Still Too Soon To Tell Whether Junior Seau's Brain Had Been Damaged By Football
The major findings of Junior Seau's autopsy showed that he had no alcohol or drugs in his system at the time of his death. Oh, right: According to a headline trumpeted on CNN's website, Seau's brain also showed no sign of damage. Which must mean football's in the clear, right? Well, no. The medical ...

U.S. Open Ref Is Charged With Murdering Her Husband With A Coffee Mug
Lois Goodman is a 70-year-old tennis official. Earlier today, she was getting set to officiate U.S. Open qualifying matches out in Queens, but instead she was rerouted to a Manhattan jail. She's charged with bludgeoning her 80-year-old husband to death:...