ty Page 686 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Denver Brewery Makes Clown Question Bro Beer, Bryce Harper Suggests Donating Proceeds To Fund For Daughter Of Slain Officer
Fine, so it was someone in Bryce Harper's stable of handlers, but still, it's a nice sentiment. "That's a clown question, bro" has taken on a life of it's own and a Denver brewery named a beer using the famous retort to join in on all the fun just as Harper was in town to play the Rockies....

Rufus The Pigeon-Scaring Hawk At Wimbledon Has Gone Missing, Foul Play Suspected
Disturbing news out of Wimbledon today: a hawk named Rufus, who has been used to scare away pigeons and other small, distracting birds from the courts at the All England Club, was stolen early Friday morning. He was in his cage, in a car parked on a private driveway in Wimbledon. The car's rear win...

Leaked Penn State Emails Suggest Joe Paterno Protected Jerry Sandusky
For those still genuflecting at the altar of Paterno, this is bad. According to CNN, Penn State officials were discussing a plan of action to handle the Sandusky mess in 2001 that involved contacting child welfare services. One official spoke with Joe Paterno and the next day, that was no longer the...

NASCAR At Sea: How The America's Cup Evolved, And Why It's Good For The Sport
There's no more basketball or hockey on television this weekend. Football's weeks away. There's baseball, if that's your thing, but we're not even at the all-star break. So the weekend will be all about the global sports: soccer, various Olympic trials, and... sailing? Yes, the America's Cup World S...

Chris Bosh And Dwyane Wade Have Both Dropped Out Of The Olympics
Bosh cites his strained abdominal. Wade needs knee surgery. Do you think this will turn most Americans against the Miami Heat? [ESPN]...

Holy Shit The Roger Federer Match Is Going To A Fifth Set. Let's Watch It Together.
Rafael Nadal was upset yesterday. Roger Federer was two points away from losing this match. He wound up closing out the fourth set and now we're going to a fifth. Let's discuss below....
!["It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17rafso5oxas7jpg.jpg)
"It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]
Well, now. Yesterday, The Washingtonian passed along the glorious details of the shitshow civil suit being brought against Redskins tight end Fred Davis by a woman who's accused of being a "pimpette." Long story short: Davis allegedly poured an entire pitcher of juice on the woman's head, and the wo...

Crazy Fans, Fierce Competition, Doping Disclaimers: A Guide To The 99th Tour De France
The 99th Tour de France (that's "Tour of France," for the non-Francophiles) starts on Saturday, and Deadspin's got something coming down the mountain shortly. In the meantime, Gunaxin has you covered—an eloquent defense of the sport's response to its doping problem, good profiles of the Americans in...

Mike Tyson Tweets About Eating Evander Holyfield's Ear With Holyfield's Own Line Of Barbecue Sauce
Sometimes the internet is a great place to read things. Sometimes the outsiders it has empowered wow us with their ideas. But sometimes this happens:...

What Happened To John Van Benschoten? The Former Pirates Pitching Prospect Laments The Hitting Career He Never Had
John Van Benschoten, the Pirates' first-round pick (eighth overall) in 2001, didn't have a good big-league career. In 90 innings of work spread over three seasons, Van Benschoten, mostly as a starter, racked up 65 strikeouts against 68 walks and a 9.20 ERA. We ranked him 76th on our list of the 100...

How To Build A 21st-Century Bullpen With Failed Hitting Prospects And A Radar Gun
Earlier this month, Sean Doolittle made his major-league debut for the Oakland Athletics. It wasn't an obviously momentous event: The left-hander took the mound with two outs in the top of the fifth, with the A's trailing Texas 5-0. He struck out Nelson Cruz to end the inning, then pitched a perfect...

Ladies, Chad Ochocinco's Marriage Proposal Will Have You Sopping Wet
Chad Ochocinco proposed to model/TV person/Antoine Walker-dater Evelyn Lozada back in November of 2010, with the wedding set for next week. But the details of the actual proposal have gone shrouded in secrecy, until Lozada spilled the beans on a radio interview last week....

The College Football Playoff Is The Best Sports Innovation Of Our Generation
I remember being baffled by college football from the very beginning. I was the only sports fan in my family. My parents didn't give a shit about sports. My brother and sister didn't give a shit about sports. If I wanted to learn how different sports functioned—how to watch them—I was more or less o...
![Tyler Clippard, Giant Jerk Animal Lover, Spits On Feeds Baby Ducks [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Tyler Clippard, Giant Jerk Animal Lover, Spits On Feeds Baby Ducks [UPDATE]
Reader Curtis took in the Nationals/Rockies game at Coors Field last night, another Rockies loss. As the game wound down he walked around the stadium only to come along a duck family that had wandered into the visitors' bullpen. Clippard purposefully walked between the ducklings and their parents,...

NBA Fines Amar'e Stoudemire $50K For Calling Twitter Complainer A Fag
We told you on Saturday about the Twitter troll whom Amar'e Stoudemire called a "fag" in a direct message. Now those avid sports-blog readers at the league office have decided to fine Stoudemire $50,000, the AP reports:...

Golf Pants For All, Even Those Who Are Terrible At Golf
'Tis the season of endless summer days spent perfecting your chip shot in pursuit of that elusive double eagle. So what are you going to wear? Let Bonobos, the geniuses who bring you the perfect-fitting pants, help you at least look like you know what you're doing on the links this summer....

Surprise, England: The Racist Was You All Along!
Boy, we all got psyched for some old-fashioned Eastern European racism, didn't we? "Stadiums of Hate," and Sol Campbell warning about twin black-hating boogeymen Andrzej and Andriy, and even England players leaving their families at home. Well, perhaps there's a lesson here, because not only did Eng...

Juror: Mike McQueary's Testimony Was "Eye-Opening," Led Directly To Convicting Jerry Sandusky
The verdict was close to thorough, but the jury actually cleared Jerry Sandusky of three charges late Friday night. One was the alleged rape of Victim 2, the boy former Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary saw Sandusky assaulting in a Penn State football building shower in 2001. McQueary's grand...

Former ESPNer Dana Jacobson: "I Was Molested As A Child"
Now that Jerry Sandusky has been convicted, count former ESPN personality Dana Jacobson among those empowered to speak out about a personal experience with child sex abuse. Jacobson, who hasn't returned to TV since leaving ESPN at the end of April, relates a story on her personal blog this morning a...

A Sad English Penis Could Not Stop Italy From Advancing
Pirlo's Panenka-esque chip turned the tide. The Ashleys' gaffes set the table. But it was Alessandro Diamanti, going left and going low, that sent Italy through to the semis over the broken hearts of the overachieving Three Lions....