ty Page 693 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donald Driver Wins <em>Dancing With The Stars</em>, Earns 15-Yard Penalty For Excessive Celebration
Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver became the third football player to win ABC's Dancing With The Stars, cutting a rug with the Cha-Cha-Cha to take the dance show's 14th-season prize....
I'll Have Another's Trainer Talks Strategy With His Horse, But Quietly, So Other Horses Don't Overhear
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Doug O'Neill and I'll Have Another have some secrets heading to Belmont....
The Phillies Had Extra Security In Right Field For Bryce Harper Last Night
Bryce Harper's main crime, since arriving in the big leagues, was his haircut, which was the most offensive thing not attached to a reliever's chin. Now that the haircut's gone, Harper's just a young, captivating, toolsy outfielder. Who should hate him?...
How Readable Are Bill Simmons, Jason Whitlock, Rick Reilly, And Other Sportswriters? Science Investigates
The last time we played around with sportswriter analytics, we wondered if we could algorithmically determine a column's author based on his favorite words. (We could!) For a followup, I decided to look at the readability of different writers. Reading level is a nebulous concept and hard to define p...
If Beast Mode Exists In Basketball, Russell Westbrook Entered It
The action in Oklahoma City has been hot tonight, with Thunder fans matching the intensity of the players (from both OKC and L.A.) on the court. Russell Westbrook's been especially full of flair this evening, but his steal-and-circus-shot is the kind of highlight that deserves several looks; Kevi...
Stan Van Gundy Fired, Dwight Howard Tents Fingers And Cackles
Dwight Howard, the NBA's first player-coach-GM-CFO, may be limping around Beverly Hills. But that doesn't mean that he's not still doin' work: today the Magic announced that Stan Van Gundy has been fired, and President of Basketball Operations Otis Smith is peaceing out as well. That brings Dwight's...
Rick Reilly Has Golf Jokes For You Because Rick Reilly Is Everything Horrible About ESPN
Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate company's logo on it. You see that guy? THAT is Ri...
Today In Bizarrely-Priced Tickets From Wisconsin Police: Softball Coach Gets $177 Citation For Cursing At Players
An insidious trend is developing in Wisconsin. First it was Montee Ball and his $429 ticket for trespassing at a block party. Now comes news that the varsity softball coach at Oconta Falls high school, Dawn Larsen (not pictured), was given a $177 citation after a parent complained about her potty m...
LaDainian Tomlinson Is "95 Percent Retired"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: And five percent willing to come back for a ring....
Ohio State Self-Reports 46 Violations, But Really, Who Gives A Shit?
The Cleveland Plain Dealer obtained a list of 46 secondary violations committed by Ohio State over the past 12 months, which they self-reported to the NCAA. They've posted all the documents, but here is a choice sampling:...
The Los Angeles Kings Are A Hotter Ticket Than The Clippers
All three of the professional teams that call LA's Staples Center home are in the playoffs, and all three are scheduled to play host to opponents this weekend—a total of six games in four days, in fact, beginning with last night:...
It's All Going According To (Pat Riley's) Plan
1. "Jay, it's Pat. Pat Riley? Yes, I remember when I cursed you out and told you to never, ever call me 'Pat,' and then hit you pretty good with my briefcase. How many stitches did you need? That's a lot of stitches. But we're friends, right? You can call me Pat anytime. How's Michelle?...
Kerry Wood Is Retiring
According to a report from ESPN Chicago's Bruce Levine, Kerry Wood will retire today. Wood's struggled this year. He's given up eight hits and walked 11, while striking out only five, in nine innings. Until his hiccups this year, and, evidently, his retirement, Wood appeared set for a semi-successfu...
Jonathan Papelbon Is Now Referring To Himself In The Third Person As "Cinco"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: That's short of Cinco Ocho, of course....
Newspaper's HS Softball Season Wrap-Up Includes No Stats, "Due To The Coach's Bullshit And Laziness."
So this is one of those Twitter things, without much backstory. (We saw it here first.) But the team in question is the Rayne (Louisiana) High Lady Wolves, the coach is Deserea Dunn, and the paper is, we think, the Rayne Independent. The Lady Wolves crashed out of the district playoffs last month, s...
What Kind Of Politics Writer Can't Even Use A Sports Metaphor Properly? Most Of Them, Actually.
Republished from The Classical....
Jonathan Vilma Sues Roger Goodell For Defamation
Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma was suspended one full season for his role in the Saints' bounty scandal, and immediately appealed. Beyond that, the NFLPA argued before independent arbitrator Shyam Das (we've heard his name before) that Roger Goodell didn't have the authority to punish players....
Under Attack From Laurie Fine's Lawsuit, ESPN Releases Full Audiotape And Accuser Mike Lang Affirms His Statements
Yesterday Laurie Fine went to a castle to announce that her husband, Bernie, the former Syracuse basketball assistant, hadn't molested anybody, and that she would be suing ESPN for libel for repeating that charge, among others. Today, ESPN and one of Fine's accusers returned her lakeside volley....
Alex Gordon Is The Best Advertisement For Wearing A Cup
For a fan, extra-inning games are only fun when your team wins. I stayed up past midnight for that? Well, how do you think Alex Gordon feels? The Royals took the first-place Orioles to 15 innings, only for Gordon, the game's last batter, to foul one off his little gentlemen. He would subsequently g...
TNT Should Not Have Allowed This Morbidly Obese Sixers Fan To Participate In The Shirt-Off
The Utah State Aggies have a superfan named Wild Bill who distracts free throw shooters by wearing bizarre, Disney-inspired outfits that often reveal his generous girth....