ty Page 695 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Miami Dolphins Are Looking For A Few Good Grease Porters
Sure, the economy is a little rough these days, but if you've got years of experience working with grease, greasy food, and just unimaginable amounts of greasy things, the Miami Dolphins would you to contact them immediately....
Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....
MLB Plans To Ban That Stupid Fake-To-Third, Throw-To-First Pickoff Move
Every baseball game seems to feature at least one of those useless, dilatory fake-to-third, throw-to-first pickoff moves. They never work, they slow down the game, they make you wait even longer for your team's terrible righty middle reliever to give up the lead. Who likes this thing enough to keep ...
Orioles Employ Extra Security In Futile Attempt To End Streaking Epidemic
The second-place Orioles have had just enough of your streaking ways, citizens of Baltimore. You had your fun on April 6, what with your Batman-inspired impostor, a.k.a. 26-year-old truck driver Mark Harvey, who was later permanently banned for life from the stadium....
Jon Hamm To Star In That Disney Movie About Those Pitchers From India The Pirates Signed
According to Deadline Hollywood, the Mad Men star and former Deadspin commenter will play a leading role in the upcoming Disney treatment of Million Dollar Arm. Hamm will play J.B. Bernstein, the real-life sports agent who "discovered" Rinku Singh and Dinesh Patel and got them deals with the Pittsbu...
Before Steve Kerr Sends 19-Year-Old Players Back To College, He Should Try Some Academic Research Himself
Former NBA star Steve Kerr penned a lengthy, multi-sectioned argument in Grantland this week in which he not only defends the NBA's current ban on players under age 19 but pushes for the minimum age to be raised to 20. Forcing young people to spend more time as scholar-athletes, according to Kerr, ...
Greg Oden Says He Became An Alcoholic, Got Offers To Work In Porn
Mark Titus has a piece over at Grantland that offers a "rare and candid" look at the reclusive Greg Oden, who was finally released by the Trail Blazers in March after five seasons marked mostly by injuries. Titus, who writes about his basketball experiences on his blog, Club Trillion, acknowledges u...
Down And Out In Baseball's Indie Leagues; Or, What Made Tommy John Want To Rake The Infield?
A dispatch from our correspondent with the Bridgeport Bluefish, an unaffiliated team in the Atlantic League....
Apparently, Popeye Jones's Son Is One Hell Of A Hockey Player
Seth Jones of Plano, Texas, is a 6-foot-3, 201-pound defenseman and quite possibly the best young American-born hockey player in the country. He was the captain of the USA Under-18 team that recently won gold at the World Championships in the Czech Republic. He's also the only player on that team wh...
The Dodgers Have The "Worst Fans In Baseball," Says Giants Beat Writer
The Dodgers and Giants rivalry has been ugly for 50 years, and nothing will probably change that. Certainly, after the Bryan Stow attack of last March, diplomatic relations between the two definitively plowed past some point-of-no-return (though peace was likely always a lost cause). Animosity betwe...
Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever
Mike McQueary is creating quite a shitshow. McQueary, a former Penn State assistant football coach, provided the testimony that led to perjury charges against two university officials, which, in turn led to the firing of Joe Paterno. Last November, less than two weeks after the grand jury issued its...
A Reader Reports: The Real Loser Of The Orioles-Red Sox Marathon Was MLB.tv
Time will tell what yesterday's 17th-inning Chris Davis-Darnell McDonald pitching showdown means for the 2012 American League East race. But for the world's scattered Red Sox and Orioles fans, it already proved one thing: MLB.tv can't do the job. Not long after both teams ran out of pitchers, MLB.tv...
![Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17luvdcne9zirjpg.jpg)
Cole Hamels Broke Only One Of Baseball's Unwritten Rules [UPDATE: And Now He's Suspended]
Much has been made of young Bryce Harper's first few days in the majors. He has a cannon for an arm. He gets on base. He makes good with the locals. He steals home. And now he's caused the Phillies' Cole Hamels to pull off what Nationals GM Mike Rizzo considers the most "classless, gutless chickens...
Editor's Note: Jonny Gomes Is Awesome
Over the weekend, our own Sean Newell asked if Jonny Gomes, the Oakland A's outfielder and designated Rob Deer, was "the biggest douchebag in baseball." Gomes's apparent crime was admiring a go-ahead home run. Here are some things to know about Jonny Gomes: He was occasionally homeless as a kid. He ...
Ducks Captain Ryan Getzlaf Apparently Challenged A Nightclub Full Of Finns To A Fight
Reasonable hockey fans have spent much of the past week sticking up for Alexander Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn of the Nashville Predators. Barry Trotz benched both forwards for game three of the Western Conference semifinals after they missed curfew, and then he benched them again for game four. It ...
Nats GM Says "Fake-Tough" Cole Hamels "Doesn't Know Who He's Dealing With"
Cole Hamels admitted late last night that he threw at Nats wunderkind Bryce Harper in the first inning of Sunday's game, and the fallout's coming fast and steady....
Fans Are Not Permitted In The Fountains At Kauffman Stadium. This Fan Did Not Care.
When Humberto Quintero's home-run ball bounced over the heads of the fans in left-center yesterday afternoon, it wound up out of play for anyone hoping to snag a souvenir. But one audacious guy would not be deterred; he was unconcerned with fences, warning signs, or consequences of any sort. He kick...
Albert Pujols Finally Hits Home Run, Is The Nicest Human Being In The World
It was bound to happen and it could not have happened to a better player human being. One day after Mike Scioscia sat the struggling first baseman, Pujols came back and knocked one out of the park-his first of the year. It was just the kind of classy and professional move expected of a player of Al...
Here Is A Drawing Of A George Brett-Faced Half Man-Half Unicorn Creature
Sometimes you're just plugging along, minding your own business when out of nowhere you get a tip that includes a drawing of a nude-colored George Brett/Unicorn with a rainbow flowing out of his/its horn....
Reports: Wisconsin Running Back Montee Ball Arrested For Lamest Offense Ever
Twitter is aflutter with reports of one of the silliest transgressions in college football. Montee Ball was apparently arrested and cited for trespassing during Wisconsin's annual Mifflin Street block party. The picture above, appeared on Twitter minutes ago and purports to show Ball being taken aw...