ty Page 709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Nobody Likes The Game That They've Won Over And Over Again To Change": Lady Gaga Reviews <em>Moneyball</em>
Republished from V Magazine....

Some Dude Won The Fort Worth Marathon By Six Minutes, But Was DQed Because He Didn't Register
Oklahoman Scott Downard easily won the Cowtown Marathon, in Fort Worth, with a time of 2:31:40. He outran the rest of the field by more than six minutes, so there was plenty of time to disqualify him before the actual winner even finished....

Shaq Speaks: I'm At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Don't See How The Fuck Steve Nash Won Two MVPs
Shaq's been pretty bad on Inside the NBA. He's playing the Barkley role at a sub-Barkley level, and Barkley's right over there, anyway. Thankfully, Shaq knows it, he tells Vibe....

Bristolmetrics: Jeremy Lin's Knicks Got More <em>SportsCenter</em> Coverage Last Week Than All Of Men's College Basketball Did
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Inexplicably, The Phoenix Coyotes Are 10-0-1 In February
There are some things we see when perusing NHL standings that seem unusual but presumably earned, like the Rangers leading the Eastern Conference. Then there are supremely wacky but ultimately explicable things, like Detroit's 26-3-2 home-ice record. (The Red Wings have all those good players, you k...

How The Doping Case Against Ryan Braun Fell Apart: One Theory
The conventional wisdom on Ryan Braun's overturned doping suspension is that it was a triumph of cautious proceduralism over substantive justice—a victory for protocol and a rare (and for my money not entirely unwelcome) defeat for the drug cops. Baseball's testing program caught a juicer, the think...

After Latest Injury, Joel Zumaya Might Become A Professional Fisherman
The former Tigers flamethrower, whose Twins career ended with a UCL tear before really starting, told the AP, "I'm a pretty dang good fisherman, so I might pursue professional fishing." Watch for tendinitis when you reel 'em in, buddy....

A.J. Burnett's Single Greatest Contribution To The Yankees Will Live On
There's still a month before the season begins, and already the Yankees have been able to replace A.J. Burnett's value to the team. No, it's not a WAR-level replacement player. Ha! That's a good joke. I wish I'd thought of it....

Your NBA All-Star Game Open Thread
The stars are out and making little to no sense. Celebrate the celebration of NBA talent in the comments down below....

It's Settled: "Lin-Sanity" Ice Cream Flavor Deemed Racistly Delicious, Ben & Jerry's Apologizes
First, Ben & Jerry's hopped on the Jeremy Lin bandwagon with its "Taste the Lin-Sanity" flavor, featuring crumbled up fortune cookies. Then Ben & Jerry's took a few steps back and swapped the fortune cookies out for waffle pieces after a "bit of an initial backlash" about the fortune cookies. The m...

BBC Tries its Damnedest Not To Show Streaker At Six Nations Match, Shows Streaker Anyway
The Beeb's a paragon of good taste and proper culture, which rather makes you wonder how the Six Nations rugby competition ends up on its esteemed airways. (Or this.) Yet there it is, and in today's match featuring France against Scotland in Edinburgh the BBC found itself face-to-face with a nake...
![Daytona 500 Open Thread [Postponed]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17epgnlnrgb2ajpg.jpg)
Daytona 500 Open Thread [Postponed]
Here is an open thread for all you adrenaline/high speed wreckage junkies. Feel free to use the comments to talk about other stuff while the race is on in the background....

East Tennessee State's Sheldon Cooley Is Either World's Dumbest Victim Or World's Dumbest Criminal
The East Tennessee State University men's basketball team has suspended Sheldon Cooley indefinitely after he was arrested earlier this week for filing a false police report. Cooley claimed $1300 in cash had been stolen from his room during a robbery where fellow ETSU teammates Adam Sollazzo and J.C...

Ken Dryden Discusses Maple Leaf Gardens Sex Scandal
In Today's The Globe and Mail, former Canadiens goaltender and current Canadian politician, Ken Dryden, wrote one of the more open and honest essays on sexual abuse you'll read....

Scott Sizemore's Wife Says She "Might Go Barf" In MLB's First Twitter Meltdown Of The Season
Poor Scott Sizemore. The A's third baseman showed up for the team's first full-squad workout of the spring today, and in the first hour he hurt his knee during fielding drills. The news was tweeted almost immediately by several news outlets, but San Francisco Chronicle beat reporter Susan Slusser's...

ESPN Had Another Headline Issue Today, And This One Included The Word "Gook"
Here's how the headline to this story looked early Saturday morning on ESPN's Soccernet site. We actually got a tip about it from Andy W, but dismissed it because we'd never heard of Lee Dong-Gook and figured ESPN had Westernized the order of his name (in other words, that his given name was Lee an...

Inspired By Jeremy Lin, Dr. Ruth Talks About Taking It To The Hole
Finally, Dr. Ruth has weighed in on Linsanity and she's done so in typically Ruthian fashion. As a big time Knicks fan, Dr. Ruth has been enjoying the emergence of Jeremy Lin and used the frenzy as a perfect segue to talk about sex....

Charles Barkley Dropped A "Jeremy 'Rin'" On-Air Last Night, But Was It On Purpose?
Despite having plenty of words by volume erupt from his lips, Sir Charles hasn't always been the most cunning linguist. (That's turrible.) So we don't know what to make of his slip-up last night, in which he went to the Asian-pronunciation-stereotype box and dropped a "Jeremy Rin" on viewers after...

Memo: Weeks After Sandusky's Arrest, PSU President Was Really Pumped That Only Eight Prospective Students Had Withdrawn Their Applications
Less than a month after Jerry Sandusky had been arrested and the Penn State damage-control thresher had mowed down Joe Paterno, newly installed PSU president Rodney Erickson began sending out stupidly triumphant memoranda to the university's board of trustees. Here's a new one. It comes to us via pu...

Riot Cops, Stampeding Shoppers, Stun-Gun Rumors: Must Be Time For Nike To Sell More Shoes
Today Nike released the Galaxy Foamposite One, the limited-edition ugliest version of the ugliest shoes in the 10,000-year history of human footwear. The rippled plastic sides of these shoes have a starry, deep-space screen-saver design printed on them, and the soles glow in the dark, for the sophis...