ty Page 730 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Woozy, Barfy Aftermath Of The New York City Marathon: A Video
The finish line at the New York City marathon is a strange place to be: There is a general air of triumph, of course, but physical despair and agony nearly overshadows it. Yesterday in Central Park, there was stumbling. There was vomiting. There were tears, and they were not always tears of joy. A...

Uptight Mullahs Punish Soccer Team For Gyrations They Deem Indecent
No, not the Iranians. The Patch site for Perry Hall, Maryland, reports that the principal of Perry Hall High School shut down the boys' soccer team after the players celebrated a playoff victory by doing the Bernie on the field. Principal George Roberts declared that because of the dance exhibition,...

The Year Of The Quarterback Is The Year Of The Pass Rusher
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Peyton Hillis Is Sorry He Crushed The Spirits Of 50 Children On Halloween, But It Wasn't All His Fault
Peyton Hillis, the Browns injured running back and Madden cover boy, was supposed to attend a Halloween party for some 50 children from the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club on Monday. But he didn't. And he says it's because he got "misinformation" that resulted in a "miscommunication between me and th...

The Lokomotiv Yaroslavl Plane Crash Was Due To Pilot Error, Drugs, Shitty Working Conditions
Russian aviation watchdogs announced their findings in a two-month investigation into the crash that wiped out an entire KHL team. Despite an aging airplane that had raised numerous safety red flags, the accident is chalked up to pilot error. But it's operator Yak-Servis who takes most of the blame....

Appeals Court Finally Tosses Fine Against CBS For Janet Jackson's 2004 Wardrobe Malfunction
Writes the New York Times: "A federal appeals court on Wednesday again threw out a $550,000 fine against CBS by the Federal Communications Commission for Janet Jackson's famed "wardrobe malfunction" during the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show."...

It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

Let's Watch Alex Ovechkin, Benched Late In Regulation, Call His Coach A "Fat Fuck"
Your morning roundup for Nov. 2, the day you wouldn't dare touch our Halloween candy if you knew what was up. Video of Ovechkin, which gets good at the 53-second mark, via 25stanley.com. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...

Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...

Andrew Luck Is More Of A Sure Thing Than Peyton Manning
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

It Was Halloween, So Maybe The Chiefs Just Frightened Philip Rivers
Your morning roundup for Nov. 1, the morning ... WHOA! Photo via Kansascity.com; h/t to Michael T. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Don't Worry, The Eagles Will Look Terrible Again Soon
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Tim Tebow Is More Than A Big Orange Piñata
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Will Anyone Ever Beat The Steelers Or Patriots?
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The World Series of Entropy
The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical....

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Later, Sooners
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Bud Selig Congratulated The St. Louis Cardinals In The Middle Of A Seventh Grade Oral Report
Your morning roundup for Oct. 29, the day we all got tongue-bathed. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Is What Happens When Old Drunk Alumni Trash And Poop A Vanderbilt Frat House On Homecoming To The Tune Of $12,000
Vanderbilt held its homecoming weekend last week, and as is tradition, the fraternities hosted alumni brothers for a Saturday night party. At Sigma Alpha Epsilon, they are still surveying the damage....