ty Page 739 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I-Team: A "Totally Single Virgin" Investigative Status Report
Shortly after the call went out for information regarding the beer-holding woman wearing a sign prominently advertising herself as a (Red Sox) "virgin" yesterday, tipster Justin responded with this report:...
Soccer Player Carlos Tevez Checked Himself Into A Clinic Because He Got Depressed And "Ate And Ate"
Today, in totally unexpected ledes, comes this one from the Daily Mail:...
One T-Shirt Stood Out In The West Virginia Crowd
In West Virginia, the Mountaneers/Herd matchup is a big fuckin game. At last check, WVU was down to Marshall 7 to fuckin 3. (H/T Nine tipsters within eight minutes)...
Wonder If This TCU Fan Still Wanted Some Loving After His Team Blew A Gigantic Comeback
Your morning roundup for Sept. 3, the day that Dragon Con's Comic Book Babes Costume Contest becomes an Elvira-hosted reality in Atlanta. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...
Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...
For A Grieving NHL, Dustin Byfuglien's Drunken Boating Arrest Should Be No Laughing Matter
A physical hockey player gets caught, intoxicated and bloated, doing something illegal. More than that, his actions were dangerous and self-destructive and put those around him at risk. In the wake of the deaths of Derek Boogaard, Rick Rypien and Wade Belak, we expected an outcry: Get him the profes...
The Remarkable Things This Guy Does With A Soccer Ball Include Spinning It On A Pen While Climbing A Lamp Post
This guy Iya Traore's really good at manipulating a soccer ball with his feet and various other body parts. Shame a Whitney Houston ballad's playing in the background, though. Bobby, I could see, but not Whitney. There's no justification for that....
Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
As you probably already know, the Knox City Greyhounds lost their season opener to Crowell 47-36....
Venus Williams Drops Out Of U.S. Open
Three days into the U.S. Open, Venus Williams has withdrawn from the tournament, saying she suffers from pain and fatigue caused by an autoimmune disorder called Sjogren's Syndrome....
Michael Vick's $100 Million Contract Is A Lie
Everything you need to know about the NFL and its courtier press can be summed up in a single sentence: Michael Vick's much-heralded "$100 million deal" is not a $100 million deal, and the widely reported "$40 million guaranteed" is in fact neither $40 million nor completely guaranteed. ...
Jeremy Shockey Saves Choking Teammate
Lots of words might come to mind when you think of Jeremy Shockey: thug, crybaby, and even choker. But lifesaver, trachea-clearer—those are new for Shockey....
A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...
Hurricane Irene's Path Of Destruction And Inconvenience, All-Sports Edition
Philadelphia and Vermont got deluged; Manhattan got rained on a little. Hurricane Irene was big enough and changeable enough to have been terrifying and deadly in some places, and boring in others. How did it all affect American sports and recreation?...
More Leaked Shaq Emails: "We Dnt Want Them Do What They R Doing To Tiger"
If we all thought we might be in danger of having our emails leaked to the general public, we might write our emails differently. We might, for example, not exchange hypothetical emails with our hypothetical agents asking him to cover up hypothetical stories relating our infidelity. We might, hypoth...
Arian Foster Really Does Not Care About Your Fantasy Team
Foster, last season's rushing champion, tweaked his left hamstring in last night's 49ers-Texans preseason game. He hurt the same hamstring earlier in camp. He appreciates your concern about his semitendinosus, unless you are concerned simply because of your fantasy team....
Pete Rose Twitter Impostor Dupes Aaron Boone
If you don't believe that Twitter account @hit14king is actually Pete Rose, @hit14king defies you to "Call Aaron Boone and say what's up 513-226-7250 #reds #hatsoffcin #4192 its me people." ...
Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...
Let's Hear It For The Guy Who Forwent Fantasy Draft Picks To Share This Aaron Rodgers Photobomb Shot
Mike D. of central Texas "let 2 picks go through its time limit in a fantasy draft to send this" picture of Clay Matthews photobombing Aaron Rodgers during the Colts/Packers preseason game....