ty Page 741 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bucs DT Gerald McCoy Thinks Very Little Of Chiefs Backup Tyler Palko, Or Is It "Calabaloo," Maybe?
The Bill Belichick machine throttled Tampa Bay last night. It was 28-0 at the half, Brady and Ochocinco clicking like they were young lovers. But Buccaneers defensive tackle Gerald McCoy saw the whole thing as a learning experience, although not an experience to learn the prior opposing quarterback'...

Announcer Is Sorry His "One-Eyed Jimmy" "Just Came Out"
In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland....

This Guy May Be The Biggest High School Football Fan In The History Of The Game
This is divalover159's "shout out to the knox city greyhounds." And "this is the team of the Knox city greyhounds." They're a high-school football team from Texas. They play a scrimmage tomorrow night. Good luck, divalover159. Your time is now. Your time is here....

The Hidden Victim Of Yahoo Sports' Miami Report: Former Florida Guard Teddy DuPay
Yesterday's Yahoo Sports dressing-down of The U included all the usual NCAA hand-wringing: illegal cars, strippers, and cash. We got a little excited because stripper abortions and bowling Donna Shalala were involved. (Anytime there's an investigation this big, there has to be the littlest bit of so...

Deadspin I-Team: Which Miami Player Necessitated A Stripper's Abortion?
The latest Yahoo Sports NCAA investigation is more of the usual: a lot of investigative horsepower and details devoted to NCAA rules that don't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. But, as Barry tweeted, this story, unlike SI's Tressel investigations, has stripper abortions....

Gregggggg Easterbrook Is 5,000 Years Old
The coming return of the NFL means it's time for yet another season of ESPN columnist and Christian Mr. Spock Greggggg Easterbrook writing 50,000 words about how smart he is and how stupid and ungrateful the rest of the world is. And, as a bonus this season, Easterbrook is now really old and out of ...

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

Logan Morrison Was Demoted Because Wes Helms Is A Super-Secret Double-Agent Mole: A Theory
Marlins outfielder/tweeter Logan Morrison was demoted to AAA New Orleans on Saturday night. It was a weird demotion, because Morrison ranks second in OPS on the team (ahead of first baseman Gaby Sanchez, and any outfielders who might replace him) and because the Marlins are 56-64, burnt toast....

Membership In "The James Bond Gang" May Have Cost Troubled Basketball Player His NBA Dream
In 2004, Sean Banks was named Conference USA freshman of the year for his court work at the University of Memphis. A year later, he was declared academically ineligible for his school work, or lack thereof. What followed was an undrafted free-agent singing with the Hornets that ended because of his...

We Are All Dave McKenna CLXXXIX
Blame me, the fucking new guy, but this should have been in this morning's Wake Up Deadspin feature, as it has been pretty much every other day. Anyway, here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting every day until Snyder's du...

Kyle Davies's Year Goes From Worst To Worster
Kind of a shitty week for Kyle Davies. He went on the disabled list. Wednesday he was cut by the Royals. And now it turns out he was arrested the day before, for disorderly intoxication....

Making And Remaking History In Olympics-Addled Beijing
Adapted from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, available at your favorite bookseller....

Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....

Shannon Sharpe Looks More Bad-Ass Leaving A Port-A-Potty Than Anyone Else Does
This photo comes from tipster Michael, who says he took it backstage at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony over the weekend. Afterward, Sharpe delivered a great speech....

The Kansas City Royals Tarp Crew Is More Entertaining Than The Kansas City Royals
Speed and agility are probably not absolute requirements for employment on the Kansas City grounds crew, but they may come in handy during life- and pride-threatening situations such as this one. Grace, however, does not seem to be in high demand....

If He Knew How, Nick Saban Would Troll Football Websites To Get Back At Reporters
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's "first news conference of the preseason practice schedule" is annually a seminal moment in Tuscaloosa. At this year's FNCotPPS, Saban expressed dismay with the speed by which stories/rumors/innuendo spreads in the information age. Sayeth Saban to t...

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part VI: Robot Surrogates And The Abyss
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this mother until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is frozen in amber so humans of the future can study the behavior of assholes in the 21st century. (For tho...

If Albert DeSalvo Wasn't The Boston Strangler, Who Was? Bill James Investigates
During the years 1962-64, 13 women in the Boston area were molested and then strangled by an assailant who came to be known as the Boston Strangler. In 1965, Albert DeSalvo, a convicted sex offender and patient at a local mental institute, began telling people he committed the murders. With the help...

Meet The Man Who Streaked At A Little League Game For $20
After first playing guess the state (it's Massachusetts), we wondered what would possess this 18-year-old to take off his clothes, cover his face, jump a fence, and streak across the field. He hopped into the passenger seat of a waiting truck and sped off: the perfect, pointless crime....

Dan Snyder Is Now Campaigning Against The Rights Of D.C. Residents To Govern Themselves
Dan Snyder's lawyers yesterday filed a brief in D.C. Superior Court as part of Snyder's dumbass legal jihad against the Washington City Paper. Snyder's lawsuit looks for all the world like a "strategic lawsuit against public participation." Even the ACLU thinks so. Such "SLAPP" suits are deployed by...