ty Page 747 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lance Armstrong Stepped To Tyler Hamilton Outside A Boys Room In Aspen On Saturday
For a man with one testicle, Lance Armstrong has enormous balls. This past weekend, Armstrong all but challenged his former teammate and current nemesis, Tyler Hamilton, to a duel outside the bathroom of a swank Aspen restaurant. Hamilton was in town to lead bike rides for Outside magazine and dine ...

LeBron James Is STILL A Cocksucker
If you missed last night's schaudenfreudegasm with LeBron and the Heat getting lane-raped by J.J. Barea for 48 minutes, oh how you missed out. There hasn't been a more gratifying moment for sports haters since the Saints beat Favre and Manning back-to-back in the NFC title game and Super Bowl. It w...

This Is How Panama Thanks Us For The Canal
Your morning roundup for June 12, the day we made out with Mary-Kate....

John McEnroe: Not All Of You Journalists Are Assholes
The classic 1980 Wimbledon Final between John McEnroe and Björn Borg has been dissected more than any match in tennis history. But the friendship that developed between the two, before and since, hasn't been as picked over, in part because Borg, who abruptly left the sport at age 26, has been genera...

Miami Heat Encourages Season Ticket Holders To Actually Be Fans Of Their Team
An anonymous tipster, who swears against having any actual association with the Miami Heat, sent along an email the team had sent out to its season ticket holders this afternoon in preparation for "THE SINGLE BIGGEST HOME GAME IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE!"...

Sporting KC's First Home Goal Was Scored By A Cow
More precisely, a streaker in a cow costume. That's how the rebranded SKC opened Livestrong Park. It was to be the only goal on a rainy night, so we don't think the fans are booing as the cowman is dragged off the field. We think they're mooing. [h/t Kyle, others]...

Why Men Send Dong Shots To People
We've all had a good laugh about Anthony Weiner using his Twitter account to show the world that white Congressmen can have surprisingly decent-sized cocks. And we here at Deadspin have gotten a great deal of mileage out of men who, in fit of passion, decided to take pictures of their dicks and send...

The Tropicana Casino In Atlantic City Is Being Devoured By Sharks
The Tropicana Casino and Resort in Atlantic City was bankrupt in 2009 when billionaire corporate raider Carl Icahn sidled up with $200 million to buy the joint. After New Jersey approved Icahn's bid in 2010, the Tropicana embraced a new strategy: high stakes table games. (You can now bet $50,000 on ...

This Was A Terrible Penalty Kick Until It Was A Goal
A match between Termeno and Dro, two clubs in Italy's lower division, went to penalty kicks earlier in the week. A Termeno player's attempt hit the crossbar, and as the Dro keeper sprinted towards his teammates in celebration, the ball came down with enough backspin to carry it into the net. Terme...

Andrew Lloyd Webber Is Coming To A Pond Near You
George Will grew in the landlocked Urbana, Illinois. To why he has never written about this sport, I have no other explanation. Let this seafaring specter tell you the story of his life through the spellbinding medium of freestyle canoe (stay for the ending flourish)....

Colt McCoy's Wife Says Texas Boosters Are Too Generous With Their "Fishing Trips And Hunts, Here Or There"
Here's Mrs. McCoy on ESPN's The Herd, doing some NCAA detective work: "You cannot expect 19, 20 year-old kids to say no to free stuff when they're in college." She says a bunch of McCoy's Texas teammates couldn't resist free stuff from agents or boosters....

Rejoice: Recently Cancelled Glenn Beck Joins Forces With MLB's Media Arm
Glenn Beck and Fox News recently announced that his show there was ending. Aw, said few. Beck plans on launching his own multiplatform media network after Fox, and word came today that the good folks at MLB Advanced Media would stream the video....

Kansas City Man Becomes Ballpark Hero With Popcorn Bucket Catch
No child to navigate, just some stray kernels, but still: This catch was crazier than Melrose Place....

Dan Snyder Subpoenas Washington Post Blogger For Linking To Washington City Paper Story
Oops, we almost forgot to post our daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be linking to until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a Ceti Eel in the ear....

Watch This Half-Court Buzzer Beater That Clinched A Romanian League Title
Former BU Terrier Tyler Morris—who also played high school ball alongside Greg Oden—sank the winner for U-Mobitelco BT. They beat CSU Asesoft Ploiesti to win their league. We'd tell you more, but the Bucharest bureau isn't answering their phones....

Seattle Goes Streaking
Not one, not two, not three, but four enterprising and besotted Seattleites decided to run on the field in a single game this weekend. One even took the streaking part literally. (Warning: video provides copious-yet-blurry shots of bare man-ass, and the towel does eventually fall off.) And once ag...

Former Cavalier/Wizard Larry Hughes May Have Pumped Your Gas Yesterday
And no, it's not because he shot .355 from the field in the '09-'10 season, during which he was dumped by the Knicks, Kings, and Bobcats. He made $84 million in his career, silly!...

Reaching For The Brass Ring On <em>NCAA Football 12</em>'s Coaching Carousel
Ben Haumiller's got a job for me. Several jobs, actually, but they're all in NCAA Football 12's new career mode, the "Coaching Carousel." Haumiller, the game's producer, explains it all using an offensive coordinator named Owen O'Cain as an… [Kotaku] ...

FC Barcelona Proved They Were The Best Team In All Of Professional Sports Yesterday
Your morning roundup for May 29, the day Roger Ebert inexplicably gave two thumbs down to those who blatantly allowed two eyes to check out two foreign boobs....

It Wouldn't Be The Start Of Memorial Day Weekend Without A Gnarly Skiing Video
Red Bull and U.S. Freestyle skier Simon Dumont pretty much chopped up Squaw Valley's half-pipe. They used lasers, angles, machinery and a touch of crazy to do so....