ty Page 779 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Our Deadspin Super Bowl Bounty Hunt Claimed The Usual Suspect: Jay Mariotti
Even though I thought our Bounty Hunt post was pretty obviously tongue-in-cheek, some people did choose to participate. No, Joe Montana did not poop on Mark Schlereth's lap, but Jay Mariotti was (again) spotted, drink in hand. Oh, and mackin'....

Not-Completely-Sober Freddy Garcia Has Some (Profane) Words For The Cubs
We're not saying Freddy Garcia is drunk in this video, taken at the White Sox' annual SoxFest. We're just pointing out he's unsteady on his feet, slurring his words, and saying "fuck the Cubs, motherfucker."...

MLBPA's Charity Block Will Cost Players In The Long Run
The players' union has struck down the "Manny Ramirez provision," which allowed teams to force players to donate to charity as part of their contracts. But it looks like the MLBPA might've hurt their own guys on this one....

Super Bowl Bounty Hunt: Washington Fat Cat Edition
Political watchdog ProPublica is holding their own Super Bowl shame-off. They want photos of Congresspeople and lobbyists whooping it up in Miami, possibly on your dime! We will double whatever they're paying. (Maximum value: $2.32.)...

Presenting...The Deadspin Miami Super Bowl Bounty Hunt
Sadly, no one from Deadspin's masthead will physically be traveling down to Miami this year to take part in the annual Super Bowl festivities. Unfortunately, that does not mean assorted media personalities and athletes can carouse freely without torment. Continue....

Astonishing Tales Of Insanity: The 23-Mile Parachute Jump vs. Rocket Sled
An Austrian skydiver is planning to jump out of a balloon 120,000 feet above the Earth. Is that more or less stupid than a guy strapping a muffler filled with gasoline to his back while sledding down a hill?...

Listen Up, NBC: Here's An Idea To Boost Olympics Ratings
Most people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens simply as the first Olympiad. Some people think of the 1896 Olympics in Athens as a shining beacon of nude recreation. Like? The American Association for Nude Recreation. Obviously....

Tonight's Most Important Basketball Game Was Valedictorian In High School
Two college basketball teams will battle for conference supremacy tonight in a game that involves a nationally-renowned point guard, allegations of casual racism, a murky college recruiting scandal, and a biting journalist Twitter feud. That's right: Harvard is playing Cornell....

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

Kentucky Back On Top...For About 36 Hours
As most of you know, Kentucky was toppled by unranked South Carolina last night, their first game as number one in the country. Some overzealous T-shirt makers look a little foolish today....

Jets Fans Don't Fare Much Better Against Indianapolis Police
Everyone expects sadistic fascist police action in San Diego, but surely the good Midwestern people of Indianapolis (a.k.a., Real America) would welcome visiting football fans with open arms? Or you know....taser them in the parking lot....

Shawne Merriman's Fetus Wants Legal Recognition
Merriman was hit with a paternity suit this week, in an odd case in which he's admitted the unborn child is his. And before you ask, don't worry; Tila Tequila has not reproduced....

Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...

What Is Wrong With Our Fragile NFL Kickers?
There is an excellent chance that one of the two monumental playoff games this Sunday will hinge on a crucial field goal attempt—and an even better chance that whoever is asked to kick it will miss....

Today In TMZish Sports: Kardashian Denies Engagement Rumor, Bobsled Lady Shows Keister, Rachel Uchitel Turning 35
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Bills Hire Football's Answer To Tim Floyd
Chan Gailey, a man who lasted just three preseason games in Kansas City, will now have the honor of being fired by the Bills sometime next November, according to a guy on Adam Schefter's bowling team. [ESPN]...

The Jets Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the New York Jets, who somehow keep winning games they shouldn't even be playing in. How are they not blowing it?...

Man Poses As Unknown Minor Leaguer To Steal Truck
To convince a dealership to front you a vehicle, you need to pretend to be someone famous enough to be able to pay for it, but not so famous that they'd recognize his face. The perfect balance: Tyler Colvin. Who?...

Knicks Fall To Yet Another Opponent: Ghosts
The Knicks were crushed by Oklahoma City last night, but an opponent far more deadly than Kevin Durant was to blame. It seems the team had trouble resting up because their hotel was haunted....