ty Page 786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Bizarre World Of American Grocery Bagging
I spend a lot of time at the supermarket these days....

NCAA Expands To Canada; Can University Of Phoenix Online Be Far Behind?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tiger Woods, David Feherty's Soiled Underpants, And You
The PGA gas scandal has taught us a lot about ourselves and about humanity in general, but there is one deeper unexplored question: Why is this the first we're learning about Tiger Woods' obsession with farts?...

Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....

For A Guy With A Neck Tattoo, Delonte West Is Not A Very Good Freestyler
Cavs' guard Delonte West has spent the summer putting together his own YouTube diary of madness. Today we find him at the KFC drive-thru, waiting on a bucket of The Colonel's crack, spouting off a nonsensical rhyme about his predicament....

If A Photo Of A Norwegian Black Metal Band Is On Deadspin, That Means Shit Is Seriously Messed Up
For real. This is the first snow day since I've been at Gawker, but the server problems are quite severe this time site-wide and it's making everyone's day miserable. So we're shutting it down for today....

Penguins Fans Crashes Stanley Cup Celebration
Have you ever dreamed of being on the ice with your favorite team as they hoist Stanley Cup, then heading back to the locker room for a champagne bath with your heroes? Go ahead! NHL security obviously won't stop you....

Look At You. You Disgust Me.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill....

The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope
It's not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope). The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on his Wikipedia page....

Brett Favre Wants To Let You Know Just How Much He’s Suffered
As usual, King swoops in on the story after all the important details have past, and allows Favre his little soapbox to wallow in self-pity and general shitheadery. Let's hit the first paragraph....

College Recruiting About To Get A Lot More Complicated
Forget the fact that it's James Madison University vs. Marist. A dispute over a departed coach bringing previously recruited players to his new school has led to one of the oddest lawsuits in college sports....

David Beckham's Hecklers Not So Tough After All
David Beckham had another run-in with fans—with the notoriously nasty Kansas City soccer scene—but the where and why is not really important. What is important, is that fans need to do a better job managing their smack talk....

This Is Probably Just A Coincidence....
Why would this blind item show up today of all days? "Which half-jock couple isn't telling the truth about their breakup? .... She wound up with an STD that he picked up from one of his pickups. [BlindGossip, via Gawker]...

Attendance Should Be A Record High For This Giveaway
The Royals need a worthwhile promotion to draw fans in August. Figurines are too conventional. There must be something else. Hmm. Tough one. How 'bout urine?...

A Reminder That College Hockey Players Can Be Dumb Jocks Too
An NHL prospect and a college teammate got together for a little reunion, and did what any old friends would do: they climbed a roof, and chucked everything not nailed down in the house into the street....

And Then A Not-So-Mighty Dong Appeared...
Unfortunately named Georgia Bulldogs quarterback Joe Cox appears in a Sporting News Today spread and it appears 1. he forgot to wear a cup, and 2. the magazine forgot to airbrush out his flaccid penis showing through his pants. (NSFW?)...

What Exactly Is Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Anyway?
Now that the people who care have had time to survey and digest the complaint against Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger, a clearer picture has emerged about the accuser and her allegations and it's not pretty. Here's an attempt to summarize:...

Chris Berman: The Next Cronkite
In the wake of Walter Cronkite's passing, the Washington Post asked a few famous personages to "suggest public figures who meet the Cronkite standard of trustworthiness." The list is pretty much as you'd expect. Oprah, Bill Moyers, Chris Berman....

And On Next Week's Episode, Buddhist Monks Become Shaqtastic
Oh, hi there, star of ABC's forthcoming reality show, "Shaq Vs." It will pit Shaq vs. Phelps in swimming, Shaq vs. Roethlisberger in football, maybe Shaq vs. Lance in cycling, and hopefully, Shaq vs. Ashton in Twittering. [USA Today]...

In That Other Golf Tournament This Weekend...
Tony Romo, fresh off a breakup with his biggest fan, storms out to the lead of another celebrity get-together, while Charles Barkley is not in last. Who needs Hank Haney when you've got the modified Stableford system? [GOLF]...