ty Page 807 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Chiefs Drafted...Well?
We've been cautioned and chastened by many a pundit over the years that it takes years to properly assess the success of any given draft. That may be true, but with the Chiefs unloading Jared Allen to the Vikings for picks, it was important for them to make a splash. Everything seemed to go their wa...
1st Round, Fifteenth Overall: Chiefs Select Branden Albert
Oh God. The Lions made a trade. Carl Peterson dangled a shiny object in front of Matt Millen, and now we all have to adjust. This Brandon Albert blog entry will be written in four styles: dense football scouting jargon, lyrically idiotic Jamie Dukes banter, Thomas the Tank Engine narration, and fin...
1st Round, Twelveth Overall: Broncos Select Ryan Clady
Clady is the first football player ever to leave Boise State early. Why would anyone ever leave Boise early? Come to think of it, why would anyone go to Boise?...
1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...
Now, Majerle's Miffed At TheDirty.com
After yesterday's legal parry with the lawyer representing Terrell Owens in his futile fight to de-Dirty.com himself from internet memory, another sports figure has also threatened legal action against the website: Thunder Dan Majerle....
T.O. Goes After The Dirty.com
Now, there is no longer any doubt that Terrell Owens "accidentally" showed up in a frame of the BangBros. "Spring Break Ass" pictorial, as proven by a curt little letter from his attorney, Alan M. Lerner, obtained by TMZ.com, to TheDirty.com....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while preparing for the NFL Draft ... • NBA: Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 2, Dallas at New Orleans (7 p.m., ET), Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 2, Phoenix at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). The Southwest Shall Rule Again. [TNT] • NHL: Western Conference quarterfinals, Ga...
Yankee Stadium:Ground Zero For All Things Pope-Y
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protes...
Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...
About Last Night...
What you missed while questioning Abe Lincoln's patriotism... • MLB: Tuckered out from 22 innings the night before, Rockies beat Astros 11-5 in their sleep. Or Houston's sleep. Either way. • NHL: Franzen comes alive in overtime with winning goal; Wings beat Predators 2-1. • NBA: Oklahoma 28, Seattle...
T-Bones' Michael Vick Promotion Under Fire
Well, it seems that not everyone's thrilled with the Kansas City T-Bones' big Michael Vick baseball promotion. The NAACP is one organization that's a little peeved. And so is Kristy Winfrey, who authors the Kansas City-based Animal Advocate blog. There is a warmth in my heart as big as a certain dec...
Marty Brennaman Is Unlikely To Receive A Statue Outside Wrigley Field
Marty Brennaman has been the voice of the Cincinnati Reds since 1974, taking over for, of all people, Al Michaels. He's a legacy broadcaster, like the Bucks and the Carays; his son Thom is a FOX broadcaster, works with him in Cincinnati and was once a Cubs broadcaster. Oh, yes, the Cubs: It appears ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Mark Littell, The Nutty Buddy, Is Completely Nuts
Two days ago, I emailed Mark Littell, former major leaguer and creator of the Nutty Buddy to see if he'd comment on that story I was working on about Flyers center Patrick Thoresen and the dangers of pucks (or anything) to the groin, etc. I told him (or, rather, the Nutty Buddy crack email team) tha...
Clay Bennett Is Happy To Screw Oklahoma Too
For some reason, we imagined Oklahoma City welcoming Clay Bennett and the Sonics with arms extended, lying prostrate, screaming "thank you" to the heavens. Anytime someone does something to a city as horrible as what Bennett has done to Seattle, there has to be someone who benefits, right? Other tha...
Do Protective Cups Even Help Any More?
In Saturday's 5-4 loss to the Capitals, the Flyers' Patrick Thoresen attempted to block a shot with his body and ended up getting drilled with the puck. But, unlike the thousands of other times this occurs during a hockey season, Thoresen got hit with the puck right in the peach basket, which dente...
Surprisingly, Alcohol May Have Been Involved
If it wasn't for those screens in the outfield at Wrigley, fat drunken Cubs fans would be flopping onto the warning track like tuna on the deck of a Japanese fishing boat. "We caught another one, Lou!" I loved it when they used the gaffe hook to haul him back in....
Mike Tyson Can Turn Darkness Into Light
Are you depressed? Feeling scattered and out of control? Being chased by those pesky frowny-faced cartoon clouds all day? Well, perhaps you could go on medication and seek out professional help or you could just talk to Mike Tyson, who's offering to help lift the spirits of athletes in need. Or, at ...
You're the Immelman
It wasn't the most thrilling of finishes, but Trevor Immelman is your 2008 Masters champion regardless. Immelman, the first South African to be jacketed champion at Augusta since Gary Player in 1978, was able to protect the lead he held from the tournament's first round. Immelman's 75 wasn't all th...