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Zlatan Ibrahimović retired from soccer, and the world is a bit duller today
To say we’ll be Zlatan-less is probably wide of the mark. Whatever Zlatan Ibrahimović goes on to do, you can be sure it’ll be loud and full of bravado. But he won’t be on the field, which is a loss for the sport, if only because there simply can’t be anyone like him again. First off, no one’s going...

The Gang Enters The Soccer Tournament
This is a fever dream for soccer, or a fever nightmare depending on what team you root for. The Soccer Tournament, or TST for short, was announced this week as a 32-team showcase taking place in early June in North Carolina. Based on The Basketball Tournament, it’s a winner-take-all, 7-on-7, $1 mill...

USMNT’s Christian Pulisic finally gets his chance
The embarrassment of the United States men’s national team missing the 2018 World Cup had several layers. One of the most understated at the time, and one that luckily has been forgotten about over time for fans of the Stars and Stripes, is how the adorned future of American soccer would always be a...

These USMNT players vying for World Cup roster will benefit from transfer window
The biggest hammer never dropped during transfer deadline day for the United States men’s national team fans. Christian Pulisic still wears Chelsea blue, which will prove to be a blessing in disguise or what plummets the USA’s chances at a deep run at this year’s World Cup. The Yanks’ captain and be...

So here’s this year’s Champions League group of death
The group-stage draw for the UEFA Champions League is always a strange, exciting, but mostly strange day. The path to European glory becomes more in focus with a straightforward goal: finish in the top half of your group and you make it to the knockout stage that begins next year. If you don’t you’r...

Real Madrid shouldn’t have even been there
We’ll likely never see a UEFA Champions League run like the one Real Madrid just completed. If only quality of play decided Los Blancos’ quarterfinal and semifinal two legged-ties, as well as Saturday’s one-game final against Liverpool, they would’ve lost each one. Real Madrid trailed late in each s...

U.K. finally gets around to sanctioning Chelsea’s Roman Abramovich
Roman’s got to go. Hand in your keys to the club before you do more damage to those who don’t deserve it. As it turns out, plenty of people who said politics had no place in sports really meant politics that they don’t agree with had no room at the table. Loud banishment of policy came at the inters...

Kylian Mbappé continues to bend Champions League to his will
Kylian Mbappé is only 23, but his plunge into the world soccer scene keeps growing. The French dynamo, playing for his home country’s most successful club over the last dozen years, Paris Saint-Germain, as well as being an integral member of France’s national team, keeps scoring critical goals. Two ...

Who are Tom Brady’s peers in other sports?
There’s no doubt Tom Brady won championships at a rate we’ve never seen before in the NFL, with no fellow football players lifting as many titles as the longtime Patriot and most-recent Buccaneer did. He alone holds the record for most Super Bowls won by an individual player....

Man City is running away with the Premier League title, so what can the rest of the EPL teams still win?
Slow starts, midseason swoons, and collapses are ways soccer clubs can blow a title race, but if you’re Man City, those don’t happen. Pep Guardiola’s team beat Chelsea for the second time Saturday, 1-0, and are now 13 points clear of the second place Blues and 14 points clear of third place Liverpoo...
![Champions League season begins [yay!] under threat from its flagship clubs [wait, wut?!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mar41kybdw3cdfotfbkk.jpg)
Champions League season begins [yay!] under threat from its flagship clubs [wait, wut?!]
On the day the new Champions League season starts, a seemingly major story breaks about yet another campaign to form a European Superleague. It almost seems too perfect to be a coincidence. Could this report be perfectly placed for maximum effect? Would such a thing ever happen? Would it be most eff...

Champions League Will Return, in a Can
The multiple and concurrent method of competitions in world soccer was always going to be a challenge to restart after the coronavirus shutdown. European competitions, i.e. the Champions League and Europa League, had the added challenge of dealing with multiple restrictions on safety and travel acro...

ESPN Deportes Announcers Are Losing Their Minds In The Champions League Final
Loris Karius’s embarrassing blunder that led to the opening goal in today’s Champions League final may have put Real Madrid up for a short-lived 1-0 lead, but it’s a moment ESPN Deportes announcers appear they will remember for the rest of their lives:...

Juventus Equalize On Mario Mandžukić<em></em> Overhead Golazo Off Stunning Passes
Mario Mandžukić’s overhead stunner came off a series of volleyed passes to draw Juventus even with Real Madrid in the first half of today’s Champions League final; this one absolutely must be heard with the Fox Deportes commentary, because it is manic commentating done to perfection....

Yannick Carrasco Celebrates Champions League Final Equalizer By Making Out With His Girlfriend
Yannick Carrasco brightened up a lackluster UEFA Champions League final by equalizing for Atlético Madrid, then brightened things even more by joining his girlfriend for some passionate celebration....

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Three Extra-Time Goals Give Real Madrid Champions League Title
After Sergio Ramos scored in stoppage time with a 93rd-minute equalizer to keep Real Madrid alive in the Champions League final, Real Madrid struck three times in the second half of extra time to blow out Atletico Madrid....

Sergio Ramos Header In 93rd Minute Forces Extra Time At UCL Final
The UEFA Champions League final in Lisbon is headed to extra time after Sergio Ramos's header found the back of the net in the 93rd minute to equalize the score at 1-1....

Cristiano Ronaldo Goal Celebration Most Ronaldo Thing Ever
So Real Madrid is embarrassing Bayern Munich at Allianz Arena, and that was before... whatever this is....