ugh Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brendan Witt Is Probable (Car Accident)
The Islanders defenseman was hit by a truck while walking in Philadelphia today, but refused medical treatment and will be in the lineup tonight. He also visited the zoo and beat up a gorilla that looked at him funny. [Newsday/TSN]...
Friendly Texas-Nebraska "Discussion" Leads To Accidental Death
Two Marines got in a "friendly scuffle" while talking about the outcome of Big 12 Championship Game. Unfortunately, one of them forgot to put down his gun and now the other one is dead. [Sun Journal]...
Gay Lip-Readers All Over America Are Upset With Jim Harbaugh
I don't know. I think he may have said "Fucking Asshole Fungus." [TowleRoad]...
Another Roughrider Goes Home Disappointed
The Saskatchewan Roughriders are not sticking the Grey Cup anywhere after last night's last-second defeat in the CFL championship. It's going to be a long winter up there....
Alouettes! Roughriders! It's the 97th Grey Cup!
The battle for the CFL championship kicks off in a few minutes (I think they have kickoffs), and we'll soon know once and for all which is the greatest football city on earth: Montreal or Regina. [CFL]...
Someone Actually Tried To Blackmail Tom Coughlin?
A 30-year-old Philadelphia man, who lawyers say is mentally disabled, has pleaded guilty to sending threatening email messages to Tom Coughlin. Or are they just naturally assuming that any blackmailer who would choose Coughlin as his target must be deranged?...
Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....
The Greatest Thing You'll Watch All Day: Tyler Hansbrough's Acting Class
The incomparable J.E. Skeets, Esq. provides us with a glimpse into how Psycho T honed his acting chops before his car wow-filled commercial debut. [BasketballJones]...
Phillies Female Fan Offers Sexual Favors In Exchange For WS Tickets
These stories seem to pop up every year, most of them on Craig's List ads. It figures a Phillies fan would be the one who actually gets busted for it. Come on, Mom! [PhillyBurbs, MyFoxPhilly]...
So, About This 'Hugh Johnson Project' Bit...(UPDATED)
As a newcomer to weekend duties, I am unfamiliar with the Hugh Johnson Project. My esteemed colleague Gourmet Spud resurrected it and I would like to do the same. Let me know in the comments how to go about it....
Dittoheads Respond To Rush's Nixed NFL Bid With Sadness, Holocaust Poetry
"Tonight..." RedState's tsquare intones in a headline, "We Are All Rush Limbaugh." And then it gets so much better....
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....
Will Black Players Refuse To Play For Rush Limbaugh's Rams?
From a purely political standpoint, letting Rush Limbaugh buy into your football team is already an iffy proposition, but there's a more practical football issue to consider as well. Will some top players refuse to work for him?...
George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Potential Owner Of St. Louis Rams Offers Fun Stereotype About Midnight Basketball Players
Much like softball is the favorite sport of lesbians and soccer the preferred choice for illegal immigrants, radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh declares basketball "the favorite sport of gangs." I thought it was dominoes? [MediaMatters]...
Horrible Person Wants To Buy Horrible Team
Professional blowhard Rush Limbaugh is aiming to become a part-owner of the St. Louis Rams. I guess the team won't be drafting any black quarterbacks from now on. (But at least they'll play pain-free!) [KMOX/RiverfrontTimes/MediaMatters/SportsBiz]...
Psycho T Found Your Dog!
Tyler Hansbrough—and a Andy Katz doppelganger—will find your lost puppy through the magic of social networking (and AT&T! What a great corporate partner!) It's a shame that this doesn't violate any NCAA rules. [Rush The Court]...
ESPN Finally Kills Adam Schefter
Since joining ESPN last month, Adam Schefter has logged approximately 32,000 hours of face time on The Network. I guess his schedule finally caught up with him, because he got the consumption today and had to be put down....
Final Update: Red Rover, Red Rover, Hugh Johnson Is Over
For today at least. And somehow we made it through with only 70% of you realizing I know nothing about college football. Your final HJP of the day is below....