um Page 166 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Megan Rapinoe Cannot Make This Any Clearer
Megan Rapinoe does not want to go to the White House. Megan Rapinoe does not want to go to the White House if the U.S. Women’s National Team wins the World Cup, because Donald Trump is the president. She does not want to visit Donald Trump because of his record and statements on racial issues, gende...
An Interview With The Man Who Enraged A Minor League Baseball Team By Suggesting They Call Themselves The Humpback Chubs
Today, for reasons that were at first very hard to parse, the Grand Junction Rockies, a minor-league team affiliated with the Colorado Rockies, sent out the following aggressive, since-deleted tweets:...
Ancient War Goblin Henry Kissinger Defends Olympics In <i>Los Angeles Times</i>
Every global-scale sporting event exists in a strange standoff with itself. On one side is the inevitable bloat and graft and soul-deep cynicism that animates every such event—the neighborhoods flattened or surveilled or otherwise punished for sitting where a stadium is supposed to be, the bribery a...
The Madman Theory Of The Montreal/Tampa Bay Rays
Any self-respecting student of insane Machiavellian gambits should be familiar with the Madman Theory, Richard Nixon’s self-invented strategy for winning the war in Vietnam. The theory, as recounted by Nixon chief of staff H.R. Haldeman after he got out of jail for his role in Watergate, went like t...
Moron President Gives Defense Department Four Months To Craft Service Academy Athletics Policy He Himself Axed
Having previously bragged about his intention to look into such a thing, our sleazy doofus of a president has taken the first formal step toward instituting a policy that would allow service academy athletes to defer their military service obligations in order to pursue careers in professional spor...
Argentine Soccer Team Orchestrates On-Field Sit-In To Protest Red Cards
In the second leg of their promotion playoff final against Alvarado, players from third-tier Argentine soccer club San Jorge de Tucumán decided to protest what they considered two unfair first-half red cards by sitting down in the middle of the field and refusing to move or play. This lasted about t...
Megan Rapinoe Has Been Clear Before About Not Wanting To Step Foot In The White House
Well before Donald Trump farted out some tweets in her general direction this morning, Megan Rapinoe made it perfectly clear where she stood. In a May profile at Yahoo Sports, the soccer player described herself as a “a walking protest when it comes to the Trump administration.” ...
Righteous Baseball Dude Kumar Rocker Saved Vanderbilt Again
The last time we checked in on freshman Vanderbilt pitcher Kumar Rocker, he had just vanquished the vile Duke Blue Devils with a 19-strikeout no-hitter that also featured some well-earned shit-talking. That start saved Vanderbilt from postseason elimination, and now they are facing off against Michi...
An Unlucky Handball Sends Japan Out Of The World Cup
An exhilarating World Cup round of 16 rematch between the Netherlands and Japan got decided in favor of the Dutch in the 90th minute, thanks to a penalty kick converted by forward Lieke Martens. The PK gave the Dutch a 2-1 win over the same team that kicked them out of the 2015 World Cup, and it put...
Dodgers Organist Has Fun With The Aquatic Feud Between Max Muncy And Madison Bumgarner
When the Giants and Dodgers met earlier this month in San Francisco, the final game of the series was a 1-0 Los Angeles win where infielder Max Muncy irritated Madison Bumgarner by cracking a solo shot deep into the bay. As Muncy rounded the bases, Madison acted like a mad bum, telling the Dodgers h...
Rays Suggest Playing Half Their Home Games In Montreal: Seriously, What The Hell?
Given all of the problems with the Rays—and there are many—dire situations call for nontraditional thinking. Like hanging out with your friends and smoking a ton of weed and wondering aloud Dude. What if a team could play in two cities? That is probably not how this proposed solution to the Rays’ at...
Getting A Medal From Donald Trump Fits Jerry West All Too Well
Have you ever seen Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping, The Lonely Island’s 2016 mockumentary about a very specific kind of post-Obama cultural success? It’s a good movie. Funny gags, and some insight into the sort of of-this-moment famous person who is transparently drowning in narcissism but also d...
MLB Umpires Throw Whiny Tantrum Over Manny Machado's Whiny Tantrum
In the fifth inning of the Padres’ 14-8 loss to the Rockies on Saturday, San Diego third baseman Manny Machado blew a gasket after getting called out on strikes by umpire Bill Welke. Machado caught a quick ejection for arguing the call and was livid, yelling in Welke’s face and then tossing his bat...
Hear Me Out: Trump Speech Karaoke
I came within a bladed edge of red death when I went out for karaoke one night last winter, but I do not hold that against karaoke. Karaoke is good sloppy fun, and it gives me a chance to dazzle the world with my signature rendition of “Purple Rain.” Our own Samer Kalaf once led a singalong of “Smoo...
It's Getting Pretty Hard Not To Get Ejected From A Game Ángel Hernández Is Umpiring
There isn’t an umpire more widely despised by MLB players than Ángel Hernández, who has been infuriating people with his terrible calls for years now. This frustration has often boiled over into profane arguments followed by ejections, which is just how these things tend to go. But during last night...
Home Plate Umpire Takes A Backswing To The Head In Nationals-White Sox
For the second week in a row, the home plate umpire at a Washington Nationals game has suffered a wound in a freak accident. Last Tuesday umpire Mike Everitt took a 95-mph fastball directly to the chest and eventually had to leave the game. Tonight umpire Chad Whitson had his head gashed open by th...
Madison Bumgarner Gets Roasted To Hell By Max Muncy For Playing Dinger Cop
Madison Bumgarner is a good pitcher and a marvelous baseball player, but what he also is is a great big diaper baby. Few pitchers in all of baseball are as likely as Bumgarner to express their sensitivity to the humiliation of allowing a home run by shouting unwritten code commands at triumphant bat...
Righteous Baseball Dude Kumar Rocker Saves Vanderbilt's Season With 19-Strikeout No-Hitter
Vanderbilt found themselves down 1-0 in the best-of-three Nashville Super Regional against Duke, and so they sent stud pitcher Kumar Rocker to the mound to start Game 2 yesterday and asked him to save the season. Rocker responded with 19 strikeouts and a no-hitter, leading Vandy to a 3-0 win....
The Regions Of The United States
Here are the regions of the United States....
Donald Trump Wants This More Than Anything
Donald Trump’s taste is difficult to describe. You know it when you see it, but that’s not quite the same thing as knowing what it is. If you’re looking at a tufted velvet settee that looks like one of Michael Jackson’s bedazzled military-style blazers from the Dangerous tour, you are looking at So...