um Page 201 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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A Brief History Of David Beckham's Futile Attempts To Build An MLS Stadium In Miami
Miami has not had an MLS team since the Miami Fusion closed down in 2001. A joint bid between Barcelona and Bolivian billionaire Marcelo Claure failed in 2009, and the league stayed out of Florida until Orlando SC entered the league in 2015. Five years ago, MLS czar Don Garber first broached the ide...
Fox News Pays Tribute To Roger Ailes By Putting The Worst Possible Shit On TV Today
The Fox News Specialists, the new Fox program that gave the world Joe Namath yakking about Syria with Karl Rove, has blessed us again. Yapping cheshire cat and First Take host Stephen A. Smith linked up with apartheid apologist Ted Nugent on another edition of the show this afternoon, and the two sp...
This Slave-Built Qatari World Cup Stadium Sure Is Pretty!
Judging by the looks of the newly renovated Khalifa International Stadium—the first stadium construction project the nation has completed ahead of the 2022 World Cup it will host—Qatar’s massive population of migrant workers, who toil under life-threatening conditions in a working system often descr...
Opening Of New Rams And Chargers Stadium Pushed Back A Year Because Of Rain
Drought-stricken California was drenched in record-breaking waves of rainfall this winter. Dams broke, long-parched rivers swelled up with new life, and dormant colonies of wildflowers surfaced for the first time in decades. Life has been good and green for Californians. Not so much if you’re buildi...
Unpaid Water Bills Briefly Put Ravens And Orioles Stadiums In Jeopardy
Baltimore held its annual tax sale earlier this week, where bidders could vie for the right to take on unpaid taxes and water bills from property owners in exchange for the right to charge those owners interest or possibly foreclose on property if the bills remain unpaid. In theory, this allows the ...
All That's Left To Say Is That The President Is A Big Dummy
Donald Trump is a very stupid dumbass. Like even for a pampered inheritance baby, he’s exceptionally dumb! Just a big idiot. His brain came out of a can with the word “Hormel” on it. He’s stupider than shit. A stiff breeze could beat him at checkers....
The Braves Will Wring An Extra $30 Million Out Of Taxpayers For Traffic Control
The Atlanta Braves began this season playing in a shiny new stadium located out in Cobb County. The new ballpark cost local taxpayers nearly $400 million, and at one point, the county was forced to raise taxes to pay for public parks because they’d overpaid so severely for the stadium, which is alre...
Trump Won't Exercise For Fear Of Depleting His Body's Finite Store Of Energy
It’s not surprising that an artificially-hued, overweight 70-year-old with a terrifying lack of self-control and a noted penchant for fast food doesn’t hit the gym regularly. It somehow is surprising, though, that he has a characteristically smug and preposterous explanation....
Everything Terrible And Exhilarating About Cycling Was On Display At The Giro d'Italia Today
This afternoon, the Giro d’Italia truly started....
Gregg Popovich Offers Yet Another Eloquent Criticism Of Donald Trump
A few hours before Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals, San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich shared some characteristically witty thoughts on subjects ranging from the play of Patty Mills (“the more good things I say about him, the more we’re going to have to pay him”) to whether he watched Sa...
Orlando TV Guy Says He Knows Who The Nude Man Humping A Shark Is
The identity of the nude man humping a shark has been partially revealed, per Orlando’s David Pingalore of CBS affiliate WKMG. The sports director appeared on Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi’s radio show Open Mike today, and shared what he knew about the shark humper, who is allegedly a form...
Report: Tim Tebow Could Be Moving Up In The World
On the same day the New York Post runs a cover asking “Why does God hate the Mets?”, they have this extremely related story claiming that Tim Tebow could be in for a promotion....
Goalie Momentarily Forgets Where He Is, Concedes Very Dumb Goal
Soccer is hard. There are so many other people on the field: teammates, referees, opponents, occasionally the odd dog. One can be forgiven for the occasional lapse. However, this howler from Ottawa Fury FC goalkeeper Callum Irving is a transcendent fuckup....
Here's Some Extremely White Shit
If you can think of something whiter than a college lacrosse team entering the field to an EDM track remixed with a Donald Trump speech in which the soundbite poorly aligns with the beat, spill it. Until then, this is the reigning champion....
The Sabres Will "Host" The Rangers In The NYC Winter Classic For A Specific Tax Purpose
The NHL announced Tuesday that the Sabres and Rangers will play the 2018 NHL Winter Classic at the Mets’ stadium in Queens. Despite the fact that the Sabres reside hundreds of miles away in Buffalo while the Rangers are only a borough away, the Sabres will be the “home team.” The NHL said that the d...
Do You Think The Cavs Are Worried About The Celtics Or Wizards?
Let’s check in....
The FBI Was Never Going To Save The Republic You Dolt<em></em>
A few minutes ago, this blog post was very long. I’d been working on it all day! It was like 1,200 words long and I wasn’t half finished. Then I deleted all that shit, because actually, what’s true and worth saying about Donald Trump’s surprise firing of FBI director James Comey is pretty simple....
Vladimir Putin, In Full Hockey Gear, Comments On Trump's Firing Of James Comey
Russian President Vladimir Putin sometimes entertains himself by getting decked out in hockey gear and forcing other people to skate around him and pretend to play defense while he scores a bunch of goals. He did that in Sochi today, but before taking the ice he was confronted by a CBS reporter who ...
Jim McElwain Elaborates On How He's Not The Nude Man Humping A Shark
The University of Florida told Deadspin Monday that head football coach Jim McElwain was not the nude man humping a shark in a photo that made its way around the internet over the weekend. The coach was asked again about it Tuesday at a speaking engagement....