um Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who's The Next Person To Get Banned From Monday Night Football
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
About Last Night ...
Like time through the hourglass, so go the days of our lives ... • College football: Pitt pulls a Wannstedt, falls to Navy 48-45 in 2OT. • NHL: Price check! Register one! Canadiens 3, Penguins 2. • NBA: We welcome our new Celtics preseason overlords. Boston 92, Minnesota 81....
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 2
The early games are beginning to wrap up and to everyone's surprise things have gotten quite a bit more interesting out there. Miami has launched an admirable comeback on their former coach and fierce rivals from Chapel Hill and Michigan State is in a shootout with Northwestern, the baddest motherfu...
Two NL East Ballparks, Exactly Opposite
We were at Shea Stadium last night, wearing our Rick Ankiel jersey, of course, and we noted that we were 100 percent unmolested. We chalk this up partly to the fact that Mets fans are about 60 times nicer to visiting fans than Yankees fans, but mostly, Shea Stadium was a morgue last night. The Cardi...
How To Bring Your Car Back From The Pound
Not much is worse than having your car towed. We once had our old Toyota Camry towed in St. Louis, and we had to take a cab to a lot in which — and we don't want to overstate this — Beezlebub himself required us to give him 200 bucks in cash. Our keys were covered in sulfur. It's not a fun place to ...
Saying Goodbye To RFK Stadium
It's a sad weekend in the world of outdated, monstrous sports buildings: It's the last three baseball games at RFK Stadium in DC....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you tell a 109-year-old to get off your lawn ... • MLB: Cincinnati at Chicago Cubs. It's just about Steve Bartman time, isn't it? [ESPN] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League: Olympique Lyonnais at Barcelona (same day tape). Don't tell me who won! (As if it wasn't a scoreless tie). [ES...
It's Open Season On Charlie Weis
The Charlie Weis / Notre Dame pile-on continues, gloriously. Some of it is justified, like criticism of how the school has handled the Demetrius Jones situation. (They're making him pay for school at Northern Illinois this year by not releasing him from his scholarship.) And some of it is really jus...
The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...
My Urban Dictionary Says This Is Funny ...
Mr. Irrelevant, Jamie Mottram, forwarded me this gem at 8:30 am this morning. Yes, eight-thirty. Jamie Mottram was so damn excited to show me a photo of two WV Mountaineer defensive ends forming the largest dingleberry in the world that he couldn't even sleep. No wonder this guy is successful....
Is It Wrong To Do It With An Opposing Team's Fan?
To this day, our favorite ESPN commercial remains the one where the male Ohio State fan and the female Michigan fans make out with each other. There's something primal about our reaction to it; it seems grotesque, somehow, like cousins French kissing, or a dog doing it with a sheep. Sleeping with yo...
You Should See His ... Well, You Know
Cricket is a man's sport. You don't tend the wickets without paying the price, as Engalnd's Dave Morrison shows here in that bastion of journalism integrity and excellence, The Sun. Actually I know nothing of cricket, or the British health care system, but one thing I do know: Dave gives the best e...
Inside The Yankee Stadium Proposal Prank
Click to view Last week, the kids at College Humor pulled off what we'd have to consider a prank of epic proportions; one guy put a fake marriage proposal on the big screen at Yankee Stadium as his friend, the object of the prank, sat agape with his girlfriend, who, amazingly, said "yes" before he ...
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
About Last Night
What you missed while living the dream ... • MLB: Jake Peavy's meltdown brought to you by the number 3. Diamondbacks 9, Padres 6. • Tennis: Roddick helpless to stop Federer Express at U.S. Open. • WNBA: Pure Shock Value ... Detroit beats Phoenix in playoff finals in highest-scoring game in league hi...