um Page 391 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The USFL Lives On Through Golf Scrambles
The Wizard Of Odds tips us off to quite the reunion this weekend: It's the 25th anniversary of the USFL! Yes, the football league in which the most powerful person was Donald Trump — never a good sign....
MLB Reminds You That It Owns The Rights To Richie Sexson's Batting Average
Now that Bud Selig has this steroids problem completely under control, he's turning his lawyers loose on the real enemy: Unlicensed fantasy baseball leagues. We eagerly await the first major enforcement incident. We see police shouting instructions into a house through a bullhorn, followed by a paun...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying kiwi sausage goodness and the refreshing taste of fresh cucumber soda ... • Boxing: Lightweights, Edner "Not Exactly" Cherry vs. Wes "31 Flavors" Ferguson, at Tampa. [ESPN2] • MLB: Arizona at N.Y. Yankees. Watch the fun as Randy Johnson switches teams again. [ESPN] • MLB...
We're Tellin' Ya, Life Ain't Easy For A Boy Named Grewcock
If there's anything we've learned from the Johnny Cash song A Boy Named Sue, it's that an embarrassing name makes you a lot tougher. A case in point seems to be England rugby player Danny Grewcock, who has roamed from town to town to hide his shame....
The NCAA Hates The Series Of Tubes
So the more and more we think about this NCAA rule about no live-blogging in the press box, the more insane it seems. It might be one of the dumbest Internet decisions we've seen an athletic organization make, and considering Major League Baseball once did a promotion with Creed, that's no small ach...
To Watch Tonight
What you wish you could watch if you weren't already committed to that Tony Awards viewing party... MLB: Cubs at Braves, 8 p.m. [ESPN] NBA: Cavs at Spurs, 9 p.m. [ABC] MOB: Sopranos Series Finale, 9 p.m. [HBO]...
Worst "Date With Alyssa Milano" Ever
Brad Penny. Carl Pavano. Barry Zito. Would you like to join this illustrious list of baseball players who have reportedly dated Alyssa Milano? Consider that for a second:...
When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....
Cubans Treat Their Female Umpires Much Better Than We Do
In the United States, when there's a female umpire, she's mocked, particularly if her name is Violet Palmer and she's, uh, not a particularly great referee. But in Cuba, umpire Yanet Moreno is the talk of communist baseball....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...
Like Mark Cuban Didn't Have Enough Problems
Donald Trump, in his quest to antagonize every celebrity on the planet, has chosen Mark Cuban as his next target. It is ON:...
Temple's Inspired Obfuscation Falls Just Short
Considering the breathtaking amount of success Temple University sports have had over the last few years, it's no surprise that they were put on probation by the NCAA yesterday. We're so glad Temple's dominance was finally explained....
About Last Night
What you missed while sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate pie ... • NHL: Oleg Saprykin cannot be contained this time of year. Senators 5, Sabres 2. • NBA: The Bulls, down 3-0 to the Pistons, can't even get all their players to show up on time. Wow. • MLB: OK, good win by Wakefield and the Red Sox....
Children Are Here Merely For Our Amusement
Tired of the sluggish, plodding nature of regular sumo wrestling? Worry not! Now you can combine all the fun of regular sumo wrestling with the nimble, lithe movements of newborn babies!...
Bill Hall Is Smarter Than The Average Centerfielder
Back when we lived in St. Louis, we made the mistake of parking our car before a Rams game in the rooftop garage for the Gateway Arch, which is technically federal property. This was not necessarily a problem until we popped open a beer for a tiny, sad little tailgate. Within a matter of seconds, th...
Remembering what Jackie Robinson meant, and who he was
As we prepare for Jackie Robinson Day in baseball on Sunday — the Cardinals, among other teams, are considering having every player wear No. 42, which gives us the unique opportunity of seeing David Eckstein and Brad Thompson pay tribute to Jackie — we thought we would provide our own tribute to a g...
Cultural Oddsmaker: What will the Beijing Olympic Committee Suggest Banning Next?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
I Like Oscar de la Hoya's Chances, If He Doesn't Explode Before May 5th
I'm not an expert on boxing training techniques, so I don't know if this is a common practice or not ... it's hard for me to imagine, though, Mike Tyson training for a fight by getting a full body nude "greasedown massage" from a fellow named Freddy Roach, and then engaging in non-ejaculatory sex....
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's the Next Minor League Mascot to Get All Dirty?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Joel Zumaya Is Just Like The Undertaker
Sometimes we forget that the men we watch and obsess over on the baseball diamond are mostly children themselves, not just in age, but in a state of perpetual arrested development. They are gleeful imps, lucky to be allowed to frolic for a living....