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What Will White People Say About How Trump Does In The Debate?

With hours to go before tonight’s presidential debate, one great defining question hangs over American politics: Will Donald Trump’s performance tonight allow white people to keep pretending he can possibly be president?...

Donald Trump Jr. Has Spent Years Fighting Twitter's Haters And Losers<em></em>

Twitter is full of idiots. Trolls, PC police, assholes, liberals—each one of them more infuriating than the last. And who, I ask, would be brave enough to tell these slobbering social justice warriors just how bad they really are if not for the wealthy and powerful children of celebrities? No one. T...

You Are A Fact Checker

First of all, shut the fuck up, James Taranto....

Report: Ted Cruz Planning To Cuck Himself [Updated]

Over the past year, Donald Trump has called Ted Cruz a liar and a wacko, accused his father of helping to assassinate JFK, called his wife ugly, humiliated him at the RNC, and even once referred to Ted himself as “a pussy.” Now, Politico is reporting that Ted Cruz is “expected” to finally endorse Do...

That Idiot On Your Hunting Message Board Might Be Donald Trump Jr.

You’re the eldest son of one of the most reviled men in popular culture. You’re violently well-off, love guns, and have far too much free time on your hands. You, my friend, are Donald J. Trump Jr. And on the internet’s many hunting message boards, you have apparently found your home....

Stephen Jackson Righteously Owns Don King On CNN

Evil relic Don King introduced ham demon Donald Trump at a campaign event this morning, and in the process, said “nigger” when he meant to say “Negro.” As a rule, you shouldn’t listen to anything Don King has to say, but it’s always worth laughing at him. ...

Donnel Pumphrey Is Small, Fast, And On His Way To Becoming An All-Time Great 

The beautiful and frustrating thing about college football, and college sports in general, is that you can follow an entire season as a committed viewer, watch every game televised on FOX, ESPN, CBS, and NBC, and still end up having not viewed a single snap of some the game’s most exciting players—t...

Don King Says "Nigger" While Introducing Donald Trump

Donald Trump, a big scarecrow made of uncooked bratwursts, is still trying to court black voters. To that end, he had undead boxing promoter Don King introduce him to an audience gathered at a church in Cleveland, Ohio this morning....

Rich Fuck Who Funded Ads Calling Trump Misogynist Decides To Back Trump Because The Rich Are Bad People

Joe Ricketts is the billionaire founder of TD Ameritrade and owner of the Chicago Cubs. He spent millions running ads denigrating Donald Trump. Now he’s backing Donald Trump. Joe Ricketts is a bad person who should be castigated and disrespected by civil society....

Donald Trump's Charity Golf Tournament Was Apparently Rigged, And He Used His Charity's Money To Settle The Lawsuit

If highlighting Donald Trump’s xenophobia, racism, sexism, fascism, ignorance, temper, hypocrisy, or overall derangement hasn’t dented his popularity, it’s not about to start. Instead, there appear to be two stories with staying power: Trump’s refusal to release his tax returns, and what sure as hel...

Lindsey Graham Wants To Destroy America

Nary a single flag-humping horse’s ass, badge-licking fraud, or smarmy nostalgic thinkfluencer in the Western Hemisphere passed up the chance to display performative patriotism in the wake of Colin Kaepernick’s ongoing national anthem protest. Here in 2016, national fabrics both figurative and liter...

Tiffany Trump's Secret Service Detail, Like Her Father's Attention, Absent

As of today, Ivanka Trump has officially become the first Trump scion to receive her very own Secret Service detail. While Trump’s elder sons are more than equipped to hunt their own assassins, one Trump child remains notably protection-less. I am, of course, talking about none other than aspiring s...

Donald Trump Is Mad Online

Other than the odd Colin Powell jab or his performative bashing of Mika Brzezinski several weeks ago, Donald Trump has been astonishingly tame this month. But now, it looks like the whirlwind of the past few days has finally taken its toll. My friends—our big angry boy is back....

Donald Trump's Birther PR Stunt Beset By Chaos, Stage Collapse

Earlier today, Donald Trump promised the world a “major announcement” at his brand new, beautiful, luxurious Trump International Hotel in Washington, D.C. That announcement? A lie about Hillary starting the birther movement and a confirmation that the American president was, in fact, born in America...

If You Want Donald Trump's Tax Returns, Start Asking Now And Don't Stop<em></em>

We are less than eight weeks away from Election Day, and Donald Trump, one of the two major-party presidential candidates, is refusing to release his tax returns. This is very frustrating and embarrassing for the press, which believes that a candidate’s financial situation is information that the pu...

This Woman Actually Got Donald Trump To Shut The Fuck Up

Donald Trump is in Flint, Mich. today to broadcast that he is at least aware of the city’s ongoing clean water crisis—many, many months after it became a full-fledged disaster. Trump’s hastily arranged stopover has already been condemned by Flint’s mayor and its residents, and this afternoon he got ...

Videos Show "Overheated" Hillary Clinton Stumbling As Secret Service Help Her To Car [Update]

Earlier this morning, at a September 11 memorial service, Hillary Clinton became overheated, according to a statement from her campaign. But as she stumbled in an effort to get into the waiting van, a bystander took a video that will almost certainly fuel the rabid conspiracy theorists for months to...

Donald Trump spent $12,000 of charity funds to buy himself a Tim Tebow helmet, according to records acquired by the Washington Post....

Eric Trump Tweets Out Fake Photo Of Rally

The Trump campaign is responding to Hillary Clinton’s characterizing a large segment of his supporters as white supremacists by sending out a photo from a 2015 Trump rally in Dallas and claiming it was his appearance last night in Pensacola, Fla....

Clinton Presidential Library Photos Reveal Cozy Relationship Between Bill and Trump

Thanks to a Freedom of Information Act request made by Politico, the Clinton Presidential Library has just released a whole bunch of photos of good pals Donald Trump and Bill Clinton doing what boys do best: Having fun....