ump Page 68 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Hopped A Fence And Explored The Ruins Of Candlestick Park
On Saturday, Ryan and a friend sneaked into San Francisco’s Candlestick Park home of the Giants from 1960-1999 and the 49ers from 1971-2013. Demolition began in November of last year, but after opposition from local residents to an implosion, crews began to tear it down manually. That demolition has...

Ump Jordan Baker Executes MMA Takedown On Matt Kemp
Umpire and weirdo Jordan Baker defused a brewing Padres-Braves brawl with his best attempt at a double underhook throw on San Diego’s Matt Kemp, who was attempting to go after Julio Teheran following a hit by pitch in the first inning today in Atlanta....

Lloyd McClendon Gets Ejected, Goes Berzerk, Receives Standing Ovation
Mariners manager Lloyd McClendon was extremely mad at the umpires in tonight’s contest against the Yankees, so mad that he made sure to yell at three different umps individually....

Chance The Rapper And Donnie Trumpet's <i>Surf</i> Is All Good Feelings
A while back, Chance the Rapper, Nico Segal (aka Donnie Trumpet), and the Social Experiment (their band), covered the theme song to the PBS children’s show Arthur. It was a beautiful interpretation of the mantra you hear so much as a child — that every day can be wonderful, just as long as you belie...

Rays Manager Calls Umpiring "Terrible" And "Embarrassing"
Rays manager Kevin Cash went off on the umpires and the replay crew after Seattle’s wild 7-6 win yesterday, blasting them for two controversial calls that both went against Tampa....

The Cavaliers Had A Party In The Cold Tub
What’s a good way to celebrate sweeping your way through the Eastern Conference Finals and earning a long rest before the start NBA Finals? Partying in a cold tub with your bros, of course!...

Bryce Harper Ejected, But Nobody Knows Why
Bryce Harper was tossed from tonight’s game against the Yankees for ... well it isn’t exactly sure what he was tossed for. Home plate umpire Marvin Hudson made a (bad) strike call that Harper disagreed with, and he said a few words before digging in for the next pitch. But then manager Matt Williams...

Old Man Jumps Off 500-Foot-High Bridge, Lights Parachute On Fire, Dies
Maybe 73-year-old BASE jumper James E. Hickey didn’t precisely want to die when he leapt off the 500-foot-high Perrine Bridge, in Twin Falls, Idaho, and lit his own goddamn parachute on fire. On the other hand, I think it is safe to say that jumping off of a 500-foot-high bridge and lighting one’s o...

Legendary Climber Dean Potter Dead After Wingsuit Disaster
Extreme athlete and adventurer Dean Potter is dead after a failed attempt at wingsuit flight from Yosemite’s Taft Point. Potter held the speed climbing record for The Nose at El Capitan—one of climbing’s signature routes—three separate times, though his notoriety may stem from his more controversial...

18th-Inning Umpire Nutshots Are The Worst
The machines tried to tell us it was time to go home. We didn't listen. And now Marty Foster's crotch has paid the ultimate price....

College Ump Takes Nasty Foul Tip Straight To The Mask
Home plate umpire Jim Garman got absolutely rocked by a foul tip in today's West Virginia-Texas baseball game. The swing from Michael Cantu deflected the ball directly into Garman's face, knocking his mask off and sending Garman to the dirt. After a minute of being examined by both team's trainers, ...

Counterpoint: Come On, That's Obviously Iman Shumpert On <i>Empire</i>
I don't watch Empire. But come on. Look at this:...

Point: Iman Shumpert Says <i>Empire</i> Is Plagiarizing His Life; He's Wrong
Empire is the story of Empire Records, a mega-successful record conglomerate headed by heavy-handed CEO Lucious Lyons (played by Terrence Howard). Lucious has three sons: Andre, Jamal, and Hakeem. Hakeem is a rapper who dates a babyfaced singer named Tiana. Cleveland Cavaliers guard and sometime rap...

Indiana Highway Shut Down By Big Ol' Pile Of Frozen Doo-Doo
The terrible weather experienced recently across Real America has many commuters decrying the state of their streets. Only Hoosiers, though, can accurately claim to have dealt with truly shitty roads. That's because yesterday, one tanker accidentally dumped around 300 to 400 gallons of raw sewage ...

The Reluctant Man's Guide To Shaving Your Legs
Though it may be hard to picture, there may come a day when you will have to shave your hairy, manly legs. Maybe you want to see if you can cut some time off your 200m breaststroke. Maybe all your serious cycling buddies are doing it. Maybe you want to look especially fabulous for your company's a...

How In The Ever-Lovin' Hell Can The Knicks Be So Much Bullshit?
Oh yes, this is the good stuff. This is the pure Colombian. This is the braindead, dogshit, dick-in-the-wall-socket-type Knicks experience that's been missing for the last, uh—fuck it, the last couple months, at least. Welcome back, assholes....

The Devils Now Have Three Head Coaches And Four Players With Mumps
What in the damn hell is going on in New Jersey? Yesterday they fired head coach Pete DeBoer, and today they announced that for the foreseeable future the team will be coached by a three-headed Rock Hydra: ...
![NHL's Latest Suspected Mumps Case Visited Children's Hospital Last Week [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/dgpf407x2tkfwvib9iqx.jpg)
NHL's Latest Suspected Mumps Case Visited Children's Hospital Last Week [Update]
The thing about mumps is that it's contagious well before you even realize you have it. Who knows what Sidney Crosby was licking and spitting on before his face swelled up like a decorative, seasonal gourd. But we know what forward Beau Bennett, the latest stricken Penguin, was up to: hanging out w...