ump Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Woman Dumps Man Because He Has Cancer, Still Wants His Super Bowl Tickets
The headline pretty much says it all, doesn't it? John Wessling and Anson Ainsworth, radio show hosts in Houston, pass along this incredible story of bitchiness and greed. Jason Elia, a television writer living in Nashville, went to the trouble of getting Super Bowl tickets for himself and his girl...
The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...
This Is What It's Like When Your Bungee Cord Breaks While Hurtling Toward Victoria Falls
Australian college student Erin Langworthy went on a summer vacation to Africa, and decided to take the tourist plunge—literally—taking a New Year's Eve bungee jump from the Zambezi river bridge at Victoria Falls, along the border of Zambia and Zimbabwe....
Kris Humphries: Douchebag Homophobe
Kris Humphries is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury while the Nets continue to slide, losing their fifth straight last night to the Pacers....
This Time, It's The Rim That Rejected Kris Humphries
How unpopular is Kris Humphries? His wife is ripping him on Twitter, random people hate him, and New Yorkers are booing him....
100 Percent Of The NBA's Asian-American Population Now Plays For The Knicks
The Knicks added Jeremy Lin to the roster last night in an effort to fix the fact that they have zero depth in the backcourt. He's the league's lone Asian-American player, and he's also the only Harvard grad in the pros. Get this kid a billboard....
Yorvit Torrealba Receives 66-Game Suspension For Slugging A Venezuelan League Umpire
The Rangers catcher's physically expressed frustration at a prior strike call earned him 66 games in Venezuelan winter ball, which is the rest of this season and all of next. We wonder how broken up he is about it, considering his son was kidnapped in his home country a few years back, and the wor...
Yorvit Torrealba Spread The Holiday Spirit By Slugging A Venezuelan League Umpire
Rangers catcher Yorvit Torrealba is spending the offseason playing for his hometown Leones del Caracas of the Venezuelan League, and after missing badly for strike three took his frustrations out on the umpire in an ugly way. It was, if my Spanish is correct, one of two attacks on the home plate u...
It's Going To Be A Long, Miserable Year For Kris Humphries
Kris Humphries's summer sideshow was entertaining but seemed ultimately irrelevant: his dalliances with Kim Kardashian and with reality TV were in the universe of entertainment and celebrity, not our sports universe. We'd get our jokes, E! gets their ratings, Humphries and the Kardashians make a q...
If You're Ready, We Now Have A Photo Of That Pooped-In Hockey Glove
To be clear, what you are looking at is not Dave Bermingham's glove right after fellow adult league hockey player Zung Nguyen defecated in it following a fight. What you are looking at is Dave Bermingham's glove a week later, still pregnant with feces....
Pre-Kardashian Kris Humphries Went On A Date With One Of Jon Huntsman's Daughters
Things are looking up for Kris Humphries, the NBA free agent who spent 72 days married to Kim Kardashian. Last we checked in with him, he had to deal with a "KRIS IS GAY!" tabloid cover, and he had survived what was—unofficially—the worst year ever....
How A Senior League Hockey Fight Ended With One Player Pooping In An Opponent's Glove
Earlier today, the most intriguing athlete bio in the history of athlete bios made the rounds. Zung Nguyen, a 37-year old defenseman for a Boston-area men's hockey league, became an instant legend for this single sentence:...
I-Team: Tell Us About This Adult Hockey League Poop Fight
Just 45 seconds into a New England Senior Hockey League game in Hingham, Mass., on Friday, December 2nd, Rogue Squadron defenseman Zung Nguyen was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct and given a game misconduct. Nguyen's player profile page sheds more light:...
Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...
The Facial Expression On The World's Fastest Jump Roper Is Gold
[via The Score]...
Prestigious Sportswriter Makes Prestigious Publication For His Kim Kardashian Tweet
I think we'll all remember today as the day the internet made the same three jokes 80,000 times. (As I write this, #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage and #kimkmarriagewasshorter are dueling for the top spot on Twitter's trending topics.) But it takes a certain kind of man to toss out the obvious obvious ...
Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Were Able To Tolerate Each Other For 72 Days
Serial athlete seducer Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from NBA free agent Kris Humphries today, ending a 72-day marriage and/or publicity stunt. We're as unmoved as you are, because everyone saw this coming even before they each stepped out without their wedding rings—but we are concerned for the ...
Low-Level Sources Close To Pumpkin Ron Washington Say That Pumpkin Ron Washington Is Not Racist, Still Awaiting Word From Pumpkin
An email, received in 24-point font:...
Texas Pumpkins Accused Of Racism Over Ron Washington Blackface Costumes
Two Dallas-area pumpkins have caused a stir over their costume choices for local Halloween contests. The pumpkins, one from Irving-based 21st Century Dental (left) and the other a part of the Dawson & Sodd law firm in Corsicana (right), showed up to a statewide "pumpkin contest" dressed in the offen...
Happy Halloween! Meet The Human Centipede Pumpkin
We here at Deadspin are great fans of the Human Centipede series of films—the second of which hit theaters a week and a half ago. And we're also great fans of Halloween, or something. So when some reader—in this case Adam K., of lovely Wrightsville Beach, NC—sends us a Human Centipede-carved pumpkin...