united Page 155 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester United Have A Wayne Rooney Problem
Despite what you may have heard, Wayne Rooney does not in fact suck. He remains a really good Premier League player who is very smart and boasts a unique skill set that can be quite valuable to the right team. However, he was really bad in Manchester United’s 3-1 loss to Watford, and it’s becoming i...
Mighty Manchester United Back In Soccer's NIT; Back To Taking Ls Against Inferior Opponents
José Mourinho made it perfectly clear before his Manchester United took on Feyenoord in the none-too-eminent Europa League exactly how few fucks he, his players, and his club gave about Europe’s JV continental competition. Karma responded, in its typically darkly funny way, by handing United yet ano...
Thankfully, The Manchester Derby Wasn't All About José Mourinho And Pep Guardiola
It’s more than a little understandable that the narrative buildup coming into this weekend’s Manchester Derby was centered on the game as a managerial showdown. Yes, the two iconic managers of this generation—José Mourinho and Pep Guardiola, two legitimate soccer geniuses who famously and furiously ...
Payet Rabona Assist!
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Arsène Wenger Disses José Mourinho In The Pettiest Way Possible
José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not like each other. José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger do not pass up on opportunities to make it clear, both to each other and the world at large, that they do not like each other. Today, Arsène Wenger did something—an incredibly petty thing, at that—to demonstrate ...
National Parks, Ranked
This is a barren time in the sports calendar. We are in a desolate trough between the international intrigue of the Olympics and the drama and nonsense of football season. I’m goddamn bored. Coincidentally, the National Parks Service turns 100 years old today. Unlike late August, the National Parks ...
Carmelo Anthony Gets Emotional After Winning Third Gold Medal
As expected, the U.S. men’s basketball team crushed Serbia to win its third straight gold medal today, and Carmelo Anthony—playing in this fourth Olympics—became the first man in history to win three basketball golds. His post-game interview with NBC’s Ros Gold-Onwude was an emotional one, bringing ...
Zlatan Scores, Makes World Reconsider Hatred Of Manchester United In EPL Debut<em></em>
Zlatan Ibrahimović has never once let us down, so there was no question that he would score in his Premier League debut with Manchester United against Bournemouth today; the only question was how. Volley from 40 yards out? Bender from a corner? Hypnosis? If you had your money on “exploiting a near-i...
José Mourinho And Manchester United Are Really Feeling Themselves After The Pogba Deal
Yes, Manchester United won a huge, potentially era-defining victory when they convinced Paul Pogba to join them this summer. It makes sense that everyone at the club would be ecstatic about it. What is less necessary is the way the club, and shit-talk lover José Mourinho himself, appear to be using ...
Oh No The U.S. Just Lost At Rugby And I Want To Cry And Now Hate Rugby<em></em>
The best part of the Olympics is watching TV for 12 hours straight and discovering sports, athletes, and drama you barely knew existed. The worst part of the Olympics is getting sucked into the drama you barely knew existed, and subsequently having your heart broken....
Paul Pogba's Move To Manchester United Is All About The Money
In the end, the process was simpler than many imagined. Any serious follower of the game has predicted for years that, when Paul Pogba—absurdly precocious and ludicrously talented Juventus midfielder—was finally convinced that he’d outgrown the Bianconeri and Serie A and decided to make the leap fro...
The Paul Pogba Transfer Is Finally Happening
For at least a month, it has been clear that Juventus star Paul Pogba would be transferring to Manchester United, with the only question being how much money it would take. But while Pogba spent his post-Euro summer dicking around, the rumor mill went into overdrive: that Pogba would stay, that Real...
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸<em></em><em></em><em></em><em></em><em></em><em></em>
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Minnesota United Goalkeeper Concedes Maybe The World's Dumbest Own Goal
I am wary of lapsing into superlatives over every old highlight, but with that qualifier out of the way, this might be the dumbest own goal I have ever seen....
José Mourinho Is Back, And He's His Old Shit-Talking Self
The José Mourinho Era at Manchester United officially kicked off today as the Portuguese manager was finally unveiled for the job he’s not-so-secretly pined after for years and we’ve all known he would get for months. Judging by the track suit he slipped into for the photo op on Old Trafford’s pitch...
Zlatan Ibrahimović Finally Confirms That He's Going To Manchester United
In an announcement shocking nobody, Zlatan Ibrahimović confirmed today that he will in fact be rejoining his old boss José Mourinho at Manchester United next season....
Robbed
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Colombian Heavy Metal "¡GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!" Clocks In At 37 Seconds
Yeah, so Colombia took an early lead on the U.S. in tonight’s Copa América third-place match, but that means we once again get to check in on the cybernetic-lunged “El Cantante del Gol,” Javier Fernández. Tonight’s heavy metal “¡Gol!” spanned 37 seconds of uninterrupted, uh, “¡Gol!”-ing. I can’t eve...