united Page 160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Canadians Angry After Being Told They Smell Like Maple Syrup
In Monday’s writeup of Canada’s baseball team defeating the United States in the Pan American Games, I made some jokes at the expense of the gold-medal winners. Specifically, I said they suck and probably smell like maple syrup. Tuesday, I followed up with a recap of Canada’s gold in women’s basketb...
A Whole Lot Of Leeds And Eintracht Frankfurt Fans Beat Up On Each Other
It’s that time of the year again, when Europe’s teams have commenced their preseason programs to prepare for the upcoming campaign. Fans, too, are using their teams’ friendlies to tune up their brawling skills, as we witnessed yesterday when Leeds United and Eintracht Frankfurt fans got to scrapping...
Canada Wins Gold In Women's Basketball But Who Cares
Canada, the moose-humping failed state to the north, won gold in women’s basketball at the Pan Am Games after beating the United States 81-73 Monday night. Whatever, hosers....
USA Rugby cut former captain Todd Clever from its Pacific Nations Cup squad for “multiple squad conduct violations.” Know any more? Email us at [email protected]. [USA Rugby]...
This Is Not Efficient Basketball
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Take That, Cuba!
Clint Dempsey put the U.S. up 1-0 on a defection-ravaged Cuban team in the fourth minute of today’s Gold Cup quarterfinal in Baltimore. ...
Sad Little Man Utd Fan Is Just Bawling Over Robin van Persie Transfer
Aww, there there little Louis. When we imagined Manchester United fans crying over Robin van Persie’s impending move to Turkey, we thought they’d be tears of joy. Chin up, kid. The Memphis Depay era should be a good one....
USA Score, Finally, As Dempsey Puts Yanks Up 1-0 On Haiti
A thus-far uninspired performance by the U.S. has, at least, resulted in a goal and once again it’s Clint Dempsey who scored to put his side up 1-0 on Haiti in tonight’s Gold Cup match at the Patriots’ stadium in Foxborough. Let’s not let Deuce take all the credit, though he’s certainly earned it th...
Jesse Lingard Volley <i>Golazo</i> Downs Sweden
Manchester United’s Jesse Lingard rocketed a volley off a corner clearance to deliver an 85th-minute winner for England against Sweden today in U-21 Euro tournament action....
Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man
Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he expla...
Southend Win League Two Playoff Final With Bonkers Finish
Despite being down 1-0 with just 20 seconds of added time remaining in extra time, Southend United earned promotion to England’s League One thanks to some magic at Wembley Stadium....
Phil Jones Falling Down Chasing The Ball Is A Blast In Extreme Slow-Mo
Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal yesterday in a battle of clubs fighting for third place in the Premiership, and the desire to win drove Man United defender Phil Jones to the ground in search of a ball that was just a bit too elusive—no matter how much crawling it took. But even from his hand...
When You're Playing FIFA And Your Controller Breaks
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England Has Been Invaded By Giant Insects
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Manchester Derby Is Already 1-1 And Manic
The Manchester Derby lit up early for the visiting side as Sergio Agüero deposited a dish from David Silva past David de Gea to give City a 1-0 lead. The entire play set up is nice-looking soccer (Milner’s pretty awesome here), but you have to ask what Manchester United’s defenders were doing here...
Aaron Cresswell Puts West Ham Up With Top-Class Free Kick
West Ham's Aaron Cresswell put his side up early on Stoke with this marvelous free kick that left the announcers giddy: ...
Soccer Coach Laments That Only A Few Of His Players Have Dicks And Balls
Carlisle United have been struggling. The club playing in England's 4th division have gone winless in their last five, including yesterday's 3-1 home loss to Accrington. Manager Keith Curle is fed up with his players, and decided to call them out in the media for their main deficiency: only a fe...
Wayne Rooney Perfection Gives Man United The Advantage They Need
Don’t look now—and Aston Villa may still find the equalizer, having scored just a minute after this—but Wayne Rooney is up to his usual tricks, with a physics-defying touch followed by a half-volley on the rise, between two defenders. The full video, with perfect commentary, is below:...