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The USWNT's Blowout Of Thailand Inspires Indignant Pearl-Clutching From Canadian Soccer Pundits
A self-serious, chiding, in all likelihood jealous quartet of talking heads went on Canadian TV yesterday and, in discussing what they characterized as the “disgraceful” way the USWNT went about trouncing Thailand in the Women’s World Cup, proceeded to hump the notion of sportsmanship to within an i...
Rob Stone Suggests The USWNT Should've Eased Up, Gets Soundly Rejected
The USWNT had just put the finishing touches on the most lopsided beatdown in the history of the World Cup when Fox Sports analyst Rob Stone put his foot into his mouth in the name of sportsmanship....
Every USWNT Goal Against Thailand, Ranked
If you haven’t heard, the United States puréed Thailand by a score of 13-0 in their 2019 Women’s World Cup opening match today. You don’t score 13 goals without at least some of them being nice, so here’s an objectively correct ranking of every goal:...
Here Are All 13 Goals In The USWNT's Obliteration Of Thailand
The USWNT opened its 2019 Women’s World Cup with a match against Thailand. That match has just ended. The final score was 13-0, the most lopsided World Cup scoreline of all time. Here is what scoring 13 goals in a single game looks like:...
Can American Soccer's Salvation Be Found In The Streets?
Every Wednesday after the snow disappears, the message goes out: Who can play soccer this week? “Want” appears nowhere in the question; it’s assumed that everyone is desperate to get out and play. A poll in a private Facebook group gauges how many people can show up. Only 16 can play at a time, as 8...
Thailand's World Cup Hopes Could Hinge On Not Getting Stomped By The USWNT
In a few hours’ time, barring a sequence of events so improbable as to not even merit serious concern, the USWNT will have easily beaten Thailand in the two countries’ opening 2019 Women’s World Cup match. The extent of that essentially guaranteed result—as in, whether the U.S.’s impending victory l...
The USWNT Is Better Than Ever, But So Is Everyone Else
The United States enter the World Cup as the best in the world, the team with the most top-to-bottom talent, and the reigning champions. They also enter the tournament facing the toughest field in the competition’s history, and though they have improved over the last four years in key places, they a...
Sweden Will Live Or Die By Their Conservative Philosophy
The most famous United States result since the win in the 2015 World Cup final happened in Brazil in the summer of 2016. It was the Summer Olympics, and Sweden turtled up to frustrate the Americans in the quarterfinals, grinding out a 35 percent-possession 1-1 draw before winning on penalties. It’s ...
The Netherlands Had To Score A Supremely Stupid Goal To Beat New Zealand
This is why you do not commit to defending for 70 percent of a match. Late in an exciting 0-0 deadlock, New Zealand was managing to hold off the vaunted Netherlands attack through a combination of parking the bus, some nifty goalkeeping from Erin Nayler, and solid individual showcases from center ba...
It's Great That Chile Are Here, But They Will Probably Get Torn To Shreds
Like pretty much every South American women’s team not named Brazil, Chile have forever struggled for attention and support from their country. While men’s soccer dominates the minds of fans, Chile’s women hadn’t qualified for a single Olympics or World Cup before this year. How could they hope to w...
![Kawhi Said "Fuck" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lvdxt7hrdvsxsgcnyu6u.png)
Kawhi Said "Fuck" [Update]
Toronto Raptors head coach Nick Nurse told a story ahead of Monday night’s potential series-clincher Game 5, one that demonstrates the confidence and competitive spirit of basketball robot and Finals MVP frontrunner Kawhi Leonard. Shockingly, it has to do with Kawhi Leonard saying something aloud. E...
The Netherlands Are The Most Fierce And Wild-Eyed Of All The World Cup Dark Horses
There’s a tier below the highest level of Women’s World Cup contenders, and that second tier is the most interesting in the tournament. The top teams are known quantities. It’s pretty easy to figure out how and how well the United States, France, Germany, maybe even England will play. Once you get b...
New Zealand Have Gone Through Hell, And Now They're Back To Being Mediocre
New Zealand are the cockroaches of women’s international soccer—they’re always around. By virtue of playing in limp-ass Oceania and therefore having the luxury to qualify for the biggest tournaments simply by beating up on the even tinier nations around them, New Zealand essentially get free admissi...
Hope Solo Says USWNT Coach Jill Ellis Is A Bad Leader Who Can't Handle Pressure
Days before the United States women’s national team begins their World Cup defense, Hope Solo has stirred up some drama. The former USWNT goalkeeper joined the BBC’s Football Daily podcast over the weekend to discuss her former team’s chances, and when asked about coach Jill Ellis’s lineups, she sai...
Cameroon, The Cinderellas Of The Last World Cup, Are Back For Another Dance
A side effect of women’s soccer being so discouraged and underfunded in most every part of the world is that only rarely do we see many true upsets or surprises. The traditional powers usually have such enormous structural advantages, and have had them for so long, that they almost always win, and w...
Canada Will Try (And Probably Fail) To Win It All For Christine Sinclair
Christine Sinclair is still doing it. By the time Canada play their second game at the 2019 World Cup, their captain will be 36 years old, and she will still be the team’s most important player. Sitting just three career goals away from tying Abby Wambach’s international record of 184, the legendary...
Oh No
Subscribers to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s saw this in Sunday’s e-edition, hours before the Blues played (and lost) Game 6. Science says there is now approximately a zero percent chance the Blues win the Cup....
Charlie McAvoy Made The Save Of The Series
Ignore the 5-1 final score. Far from a blowout, Game 6 had the feel of a rain-swollen reservoir. With the Blues one game away from their first Cup in franchise history, and 18,000 fans screaming so loudly that NBC didn’t even have to juice the crowd mic, and another 30,000 watching on screens outsid...
Tuukka Rask And The Bruins Spoil St. Louis's Party, Force Game 7
It certainly feels fitting that the first two of the Bruins’ goals in Game 6 came via some very visible influence from the referees. Not in any controversial way, for the record, but every Boston fan who believes in karma must surely feel that their 5-1 victory on Sunday night was preordained, afte...
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