up Page 396 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hater's Guide To The 2018 World Cup
The World Cup: truly a tradition unlike any other, except I guess for the Olympics which it is kind of like in the sense that a bunch of people who only care about a thing every four years suddenly care about it so much. Most of the world, of course, cares about soccer a great deal all the time, but...
The Notorious Chokers Of Serbia Might Be Too Good To Gag This Time Around
Serbia’s proud history of cultivating the talents of exceptional soccer players is only surpassed by their inglorious history of choking in embarrassing fashion once those exceptional Serbs all get together with the national team. This Serbian team is even more stacked than usual. Hopefully that tal...
Achilles The Psychic Cat Picks Russia To Win World Cup Match Because He Knows Where His Mice Are Buttered
Happy World Cup day! The real competition begins today. Not the soccer; the psychic animals....
Deadspin Up All Night: That Is Quicksand
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group B, In (Almost) One Minute
The 2018 World Cup kicks off tomorrow. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group B, all in one neat little video....
This Might Be Belgium's Last Chance, So They Better Not Fuck It Up
The word “underachievers” will haunt this Belgium group for the rest of their lives unless they seriously impress at this World Cup. Even just a glance at their roster should strike fear into most opponents’ hearts, but in practice, this dream team has yet to really gel, playing much more like a loo...
(Almost) Everything You Need To Know About World Cup Group A, In (Almost) One Minute
The 2018 World Cup kicks off tomorrow. Just because the USMNT blows and didn’t make the tournament, that’s no reason for you not to pay attention to the best sporting event on the planet. Here’s everything you absolutely must know about Group A, all in one neat little video....
Tunisia Are Fucked
Everyone welcome Tunisia back to the World Cup! They haven’t been here since 2006, and they will go to Russia seeking to win their first Wold Cup match in 40 years. They, uh, probably won’t get it....
South Korea Are Overmatched, But At Least They Have A Superstar
Four years after a disappointing showing in Brazil, South Korea had the great misfortune of being drawn into a very tough group in Russia. The Taegeuk Warriors have enviable top-end talent in Son Heung-min and Ki Sung-yueng, and if they had been drawn into the groups that their fellow Asian qualifie...
The Campaign To Make England Great Again Is Well Underway<em></em>
For years now, there hasn’t been much to do but laugh at England’s performances on the world stage. The so-called Golden Generation won nothing, and the 2014 World Cup team didn’t even make it out of their group. England did manage to make it to the Round of 16 in the 2016 Euros, but ended up gettin...
Spain Shoots Its Own Dick Off In The Name Of Propriety, Fires Manager One Day Before World Cup
The Spanish soccer federation (RFEF) announced today that it has fired its national team manager Julen Lopetegui, on the eve of the World Cup, because Lopetegui did not “act the right way.” The infraction? Lopetegui accepted a job managing Real Madrid, which would have started after the World Cup, w...
The U.S., Canada, And Mexico Will Host The 2026 World Cup
While the rest of the world’s hatred of Donald Trump runs deep, it apparently doesn’t run quite deep enough to deprive the U.S. of hosting the World Cup. After a bit of a scare there for a while, today FIFA voted on who would host the 2026 World Cup and the joint bid by the U.S., Canada, and Mexico ...
Xherdan Shaqiri Better Do Some Cool Shit Quickly Because Switzerland Won't Be In Russia For Long
Swiss fans don’t have much room for optimism at this World Cup. While the squad Switzerland will take to Russia is perfectly adequate, and though the team had the good fortune of being drawn into a pretty manageable group, the presence of a couple superteams surrounding them greatly limits their lik...
Deadspin Up All Night: Ancients Of Mu Mu
Hello, friends! Shall we discuss the various high elements of acid house? The comment section is yours. ...
Brazil Are The Perfect World Cup Team
If you made a list of everything you’d want from a favorite to win the World Cup, Brazil would tick every box....
It's Time For Sweden To Become More Than Just Zlatan's Team
After missing out on the two previous World Cups, Sweden squeaked into this one with an upset win over Italy in qualifying. Simply making the tournament is in many ways an overachievement for this squad, and it’s probably best for them to view things that way. They are in the Group of Death with Ger...
Can Mexico Finally Overcome A 24-Year World Cup Curse?<em></em>
It was absolutely not a penalty....
The World Cup Is Where Nigeria's Super Eagles Can Really Soar
One of the World Cup’s underrated appeals is watching players who are jammed into limited roles at club level let their hair down and run around without restraint on the international stage. For example a defensive midfielder, normally tasked with little more than standing in front of the center ba...
Deadspin Up All Night: Boy, You've Got To Hold On
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Have a cool time....
Nike Will No Longer Supply Iran's World Cup Cleats Because Of Sanctions
Just over a week before Iran plays their first World Cup match against Morocco, Nike has announced that they will no longer provide the Iranian national team’s cleats because of recently reimposed economic sanctions against the country. Nike has provided cleats for several Iranian players for years,...