up Page 502 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...
Reports: Justice Department Brings The Goddamn Hammer Down On FIFA
According to reports in both the Wall Street Journal ($) and New York Times, a number of FIFA officials were just arrested in Zurich, Switzerland, and according to the Times are expected to be extradited to the United States where they will face charges of “wire fraud, racketeering and money launder...
Deadspin Up All Night: Weak I'd Rather Be
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Take care of yourselves....
Chinese Goalie Sips From A Refreshing Bottle Of Water, Gets Scored On
OY, HEAD ON A SWIVEL, MATE! KEEP ALERT AT ALL TIMES! Here’s video of Chinese Super League keeper Sui Weijie’s career low:...
FIFA Slaves Banned From Attending Relatives' Funerals
The 2022 Qatar World Cup will be brought to you by Coca-Cola on the backs of slave workers, many of whom hail from Nepal. These workers live in filth and work in terrifyingly dangerous conditions; their efforts to build the McDonald’s-funded event will result in one dead worker for every 90 seconds ...
Ducks Overcome Miracle Toews Goal To Win In OT, Take 3-2 Series Lead
The Anaheim Ducks took a 3-2 Western Conference Final lead with a Matt Beleskey goal 45 seconds into overtime that erased an outstanding performance by Jonathan Toews in the final minutes of regulation—including a miracle shot that found the net with 38 seconds remaining....
Fenerbahçe Get Four Players Sent Off, Ruin Their Süper Lig Hopes
Fenerbahçe needed a win today at Istanbul Basaksehir to keep their hopes alive of beating rival Galatasaray for the Turkish Süper Lig title. Instead, they earned four red cards and managed a 2-2 draw with only seven players left on the pitch. One of those reds came from a substitute, Pierre Webo, wh...
Please Do Not Interrupt The Indianapolis Motor Speedway Chairman
IMS chairman Mari Hulman George has been ordering Indy 500 drivers to “start your engines” for longer than most of us have been alive. Today, another woman tried to butt in on her command, Kanye-style. Mari Hulman George wasn’t having any of it, and damn near backhanded the young lady....
Blackhawks Even Series With Antoine Vermette Goal In Double Overtime
The Western Conference Final is tied 2-2 after a double overtime thriller that came to an end when Chicago’s Antoine Vermette found the net to give the Blackhawks a 5-4 win....
Deadspin Up All Night: Lately I've Been Singing Love Songs By Myself
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. If you’ve only eaten one avocado today, you haven’t eaten enough avocado. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: A Flap Of Wings
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the long weekend, but we’ll be here if you need us....
Tell Us Your Dumbest Food Mishaps
My brother once ate an entire wedge of brie thinking it was pie. The story goes like this:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Have A Staycation
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The Nats Are Making A Mess Of Their Uniforms, My God
This season, the Nationals have taken up the rather messy celebratory anointing of players with chocolate syrup. The Washington Post put together a explainer that promises “a comprehensive look” at the origins and impact of the ritual dousing of ice cream toppings, as well as instructions for “how y...
Deadspin Up All Night: I'll See You In The Morning
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Blackhawks Top Ducks 3-2 In Triple OT
It isn’t the prettiest goal you’ll ever see—and it’s no head goal—but it did the trick just fine. Blackhawks forward Marcus Krüger punched the puck past Frederik Andersen 16 minutes and 12 seconds into the game’s third overtime; the longest game in the Chicago Blackhawks’s 89-year history. (It was o...
Potential Double OT-Winning Goal Disallowed For Being Too Awesome
Hockey players regularly play soccer in the locker room before games, and Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw pulled his best Ronaldo impression when he headed in a goal that left the city of Chicago thinking they’d won Game 2 of the Western Conference Final in double overtime. But no! It turns out that’...
Deadspin Up All Night: Do What I Wanna Do
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Linesman Takes Massive Hit, Has To Leave Hockey Game
A Steven Stamkos hit on Kevin Klein led to NHL linesman Brad Kovachik being knocked out of tonight’s Lightning-Rangers game in the second period. Backup linesman Greg Devorski took over for Kovachik. We don’t have word yet on Kovachik’s condition....