up Page 786 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Am No Longer Governed By Human Emotions
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Madness Is...A 49ers Taquería Mural
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Seven-Foot Santa Monster Terrifies Local Toddlers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Who's Not Lying About (or For) Tiger Woods Right Now?
TI-ger Watch... Club-carrying Kiwi goon, Steve Williams, contends he had no idea his boss was such a cad: "I do not have any personal knowledge of anything in the reports related to the Tiger Woods' stories." High fucking five, Stevie....

Bowden Announces New Endeavor: Holding A Grudge
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Turdfest On Paper Gives Us A Few Gems
Ten early games, and only one features two teams with winning records. Rex Grossman, Matt Moore, Brodie Croyle, Daunte Culpepper and Chris Redman all took snaps today. But what's this about upsets?...

Open Your Mouth, Here Comes Victory
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Nets Set The Tone For A Day Of Celebrating The Smallest Victories
Just in time for a tilt with their sorta-not-as-hapless cross-river rivals, the New Jersey Nets snapped their season-opening 18-game losing streak with a 97-91 victory over the Charlotte Bobcats. The expectations for a 64-18 record just went through the roof!...

English-American Alliance To Be Torn Asunder By Soccer
World Cup 2010 is going to be the Revolution and 1812 rolled into one and deep fried, only like....10,000 times more awesomer. Uncle Sam should lend-lease England a couple extra butts, so there's even more limey arse to kick!...

Sex On Ambien Shall Now Forever Be Known As "Tiger-Bonin'"
Tiger Woods round-up...The not-so-secret conversations between Eldrick and Lady Uchitel reveal more absurdly sordid details about their alleged humping sessions. And — get this! — Tiger isn't the only professional golfer who enjoys a piece of Strange Tang....

2010 Fifa World Cup Draw
For those who want to see foreign people fill-in brackets on a board, go to these fine places for live-blog updates....

Mangino Rides Off Into The Sunset, Less Than Comfortably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

What's-her-face Says She Didn't Do Tiger And Golf Media Is Crestfallen
Tiger Woods round-up...There are more allegations of Uchitelian proportions suggesting the other-other-other woman is has now denied all previous reports of her boinking Tiger. Gossip pages are thriving, but the rest of the golf media gets wistful....

Rachel Uchitel Would Like To Tell The Truth About Tiger...At Some Point
A 24-hour Tiger roundup...Rachel Uchitel seemed determined to wrest the tabloid top spot back away from Tiger's other playthings, but she changed her mind about a lawyer-aided press conference due to "unforeseen circumstances." Plus, the latest in Tiger prenuptial news....

Is The Big Ten The Best Hoops Conference?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

It Appears 90% Of The Female Population Has Slept With Tiger Woods
Another lady gets paid a hefty sum to talk about sleeping with Tiger. Somebody else who's getting paid handsomely? Elin Nordegren, who is apparently on some kind of "wife salary" paid by Tiger Woods, Inc....

Heels Slip Spartans The Tongue
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Another Roughrider Goes Home Disappointed
The Saskatchewan Roughriders are not sticking the Grey Cup anywhere after last night's last-second defeat in the CFL championship. It's going to be a long winter up there....

Alouettes! Roughriders! It's the 97th Grey Cup!
The battle for the CFL championship kicks off in a few minutes (I think they have kickoffs), and we'll soon know once and for all which is the greatest football city on earth: Montreal or Regina. [CFL]...

Does It Make You Feel Better To Know You Weren't Favored To Begin With?
On a shortened Sunday slate, two huge upsets looked possible late. But that's why they play 60 minutes (or in Houston and Washington's cases, 45)....