up Page 846 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Please Don't Burn Down Our Big House
According to an email from one former Michigan player to a group of Michigan alumni, the alums are planning a little pump-er-upper tomorrow for the Irish game....

Please, No More MNF Doubleheaders
We're not sure why, exactly, we feel compelled to write about a game that we spent four hours writing about last night and just ended about eight hours ago ... and, oh yeah, was completely miserable to watch. But, alas, here we are....

Stableford: Djokovic's A Kitten, Federer's A Cougar
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. Sometimes we're tempted to call his column "Droppin' A Deuce With Dylan Stableford." We are not sure why....

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

Tomlinson Rushes Not Exactly Like Nike Zoom Commercial
All possessors of the first pick in their fantasy football leagues would like to have a word with LDT at the moment, as the reigning NFL MVP (though Pacman Jones is the raining NFL MVP) has 12 yards on 11 carries in the first half against the Bears....

We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

Yahoo Fantasy Gets Its ESPN On
You thought ESPN had some trouble last year with their fantasy games? Yahoo had a major disaster of its own last night, at the worst possible time....

Three Days Later, The Upset Still Stuns
As much as we enjoyed the link to all the other Big Ten teams celebrating Michigan's loss, and as happy as we are for Appalachian State — some of whose fans actually saw this coming — we still have to focus on those Michigan fans, who saw their entire season (and perhaps so much more) evaporate in a...

Ole' Ball Coach Has Half a Mind to Tear Off Corso's Merkin
When Steve Spurrier arrived at South Carolina questions arose as to just how quickly he could turn the perennial also-rans into legitimate contenders. As a an undying supporter of the Ball Coach (yeah, I got custom tags when he came to DC) I knew it would just be a matter of time. Unfortunately not ...

App State Wins!
Wow, that sure looked impressive from the ten second highlight package! The Division 1-AA (now called something else) champs from Appalachian State came up to the Big House and ran roughshod over the Corn and Blue. For some Dan Shanoff style insta-history let's go to...Dan Shanoff!...

Alright people, as you may know I've been unable to access the NCAADeadspin screenname to receive all of your Hugh Johnson goodnes. Taking PeteJayhawk's advice I've set up a new screenname where you can reach me. For today just send all of your correspondence to UnsilentDeadspin, I'm logged on to AI...

About Last Night...
What you missed while welcoming hip hop back from the dead vacation... • Baseball: Scott Baker took perfection into the ninth against the Royals. The Big Lead is still engorged. • Football: Michael Strahan surprised nobody when he decided to return to the Giants. Jean's gotta get paid. • Boxing: Sha...

Behold The Upper Thigh Of Bill Simmons
We mean not to ruin your breakfast / brunch / 10:45 a.m. taco, but we weren't the only ones befuddled yesterday as to why Bill Simmons ran an extreme closeup picture of his leg hair....

In One Way, The Illini Already Are Champions
The college football season is but three days away, and to the hardcore fan, that means only one thing: The Fulmer Cup has been awarded! And yes, this year's winner of Every Day Should Be Saturday's yearly ode to collegiate athlete malfeasance is one that hits us close to the heart. Somewhere aroun...

Jeff Burton, Brought To You By The Color Orange
In a world where race cars are stamped with as many corporate sponsors that will fit on the sheet metal, it's really weird to see a car with no logo on the hood or sides. Seriously, it looks like Jeff Burton (#31) is driving an oversized Hot Wheels car in this Getty photo. There's a (logical?) reas...

About Last Night
What you missed while celebrating the birthday of the Big Mac ... • NFL: Preseason ... How's that hangover, Packers fans? Jacksonville 21, Green Bay 13. • MLB: Amazing! Rangers explode again for, uh, never mind. Seattle 9, Texas 4. • Basketball: Take THAT, U.S. Virgin Islands. And THAT. Any other is...

Get Your Filthy Piece Of Clothing Here
At 5 p.m. ET today, Matt Murphy, that guy in the Mets jersey who caught Barry Bonds' 756th home run, is going to announce whether or not he's going to sell the ball. Forgive us, but by the looks of an eBay page he just set up, we think we have a pretty good idea of what he's going to do. (We kid, by...

Roger Clemens Has A Problem
2007 Postseason Actober.com Contest The Day That Aaron Boone Went Yard [Deadspin]...

There Are Safeties Weaker Than Ryan Seacrest
You know, we didn't mean to come across as openly derisive toward Ryan Seacrest yesterday when we pointed out that he will be a co-host of the Super Bowl this year. In fact, we clearly underestimated the guy....