up Page 847 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Super Bowl Gets More SUPER
You might think that Richard Simmons hanging out with Howie Long and company is just an anomaly, a tiny bit of happenstance. But then again, you don't know who's hosting the pregame and halftime festivities for Fox at Super Bowl XLII....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you send your robot squirrel out to take care of the rattlesnake ... • MLB: Detroit at Cleveland [ESPN]; Cincinnati at Chicago Cubs. "He can't hit he can't hit he can't hit, Su-wing batter!" [WGN] • Tennis: ATP, Western & Southern Financial Group Masters, early round, at Cincinnati....
Even Cancer Kids Are Aggressive Red Sox Fans
Nobody told little Lexi Alden, who, upon learning she was on live television, grabbed the microphone and took charge. Hey, Baltimore Orioles: YOU'RE GOING DOWN. The cancer kid says so....
Sorry, Seattle: Your Hoops Team Is Gone
So you know Sonics fans were holding out hope that the Kevin Durant acquisition might spur the new ownership group — which hails from Oklahoma City — to keep the team in Seattle? We wouldn't hold your breath on that....
Even Crazy Terrorist Bastards Take Time Out For Sports
"Bin Laden here. Just a note to my homies on the Iraqi soccer team: Nice job winning the Asian Cup. We were all rooting for you here in the cave. Strength be to Allah. Oh ... and also congratulations to Barry Bonds on No. 755."...
Lil Romeo, Undersized, Shoot-First Point Guard
We've already shared with you our joy that Michael Jordan's son is going to be playing for our Illini this season. He's not all that good, but he's not costing a scholarship, and it'll make sure his dad impregnates a few co-eds. It'll be fun....
The Announcer Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
via Awful Announcing...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while choreographing the greatest performance in the history of the Phillipine penal system's talent show... • MLB: The Yankees got their asses kicked by Tampa. The Bronx may actually be burning. • Golf: The preening Spaniard Sergio Garcia is still leading at the Open Championship ma...
Will The Mob Kill Him First, Or Will David Stern?
We usually take front page New York Post stories with a grain of salt — unless they involve the she-male muscular type — but today's is a potentially huge one: An as-yet unnamed NBA ref may have been fixing games for the mob. Yeah. We'd call that a big story....
Your Afternoon Michael Vick Update
It's been about five hours since we did a Michael Vick update. About that time, don't you think?...
The Duke Can Beat You In Many, Many Ways
I admit to being no huge fan of the designated hitter rule. I like that fact that there is at least one pronounced difference between the leagues, but baseball is all about my nine vs. your nine ... and that includes the lazy-ass pitcher (I'm talking about you, Clemens). If the NL had the DH, then w...
You Cannot Handle The Truth Of Bill James
We are a longtime admirer of famed baseball thinker Bill James. (We might make fun of Rob Neyer a bit around here, but we — like a lot of you, we suspect — have Neyer to thank for our initial awareness of James' work.) He opened our eyes to so many new concepts in the game we love, and, all told, we...
Spike Is Here, Kids, And He's READY TO BALL
We've talked to you before about Spike, The Super Ball, the official mascot of Super Bowl XLII at the Pink Taco in Glendale next February. Well, now, Spike is making public appearances. We are all of sudden SO EXCITED about Super Bowl XLII, thanks to Spike's signature brand of crowd-pleasing banter...
Gene Upshaw Is Smarter Than You Think
Say what you will about NFL players union chief Gene Upshaw — that he's an out-of-control, useless stooge who collapses under even the slightest bit of pressure from the NFL, which just waits for him to say something idiotic again — but you can't say he doesn't know how to take care of himself....
WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....
Golfers, Getting Huge
MJD told you a little about this weekend, and it's certainly been discussed, but damn: Tiger Woods is really freaking jacked all of a sudden. It has some wondering whether Tiger's appearance is what inspired the PGA to finally instate steroid testing, just a few days after the U.S. Open and after ye...