ups Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
L.A. Galaxy Require Cheap, Fake Goal To Beat Fifth-Division Beer League Team
“Obviously you’re going to bleed every precious second off the clock,” the announcer notes, as the L.A. Galaxy are nursing a 2-1 lead with only 10 men against La Maquina, obviously a fearsome opponent, given the Galaxy’s desire to nurse the clock. Wait, who are La Maquina?...
Copa América Fucks Up National Anthem Again
One day after playing the Chilean national anthem instead of Uruguay’s, the Copa América screwed things up again by interrupting Chile’s anthem before the team’s match against Argentina in Santa Clara....
Is It Normal For Me To Hiccup So Damn Much?
Hiccups are, by nature, pretty normal. Everyone gets them and the only really worrisome side effect is the possibility that they won’t automatically dissipate in a timely fashion. If they don’t? Even hiccups that last for months or years or record-setting decades typically don’t keep the inflicted f...
How To Dump Someone Tactfully, And Make A Clean Break
Breaking up with someone is one of life’s fondest moments, up there with clasping your sticky, newborn baby to your chest and hearing the first few notes of “Sorry” ring out across the dancefloor. Just kidding, obviously: dumping a person is rotten and no fun at all, which is often why it takes so l...
How NFL Quarterback Jersey Sales Nearly Destroyed The Union
The following excerpt comes from Matthew Futterman’s Players: The Story of Sports and Money, and the Visionaries Who Fought to Create a Revolution, released yesterday by Simon & Schuster. This excerpt tells the little-known story of NFL executives Frank Vuono and Mike Ornstein, who attempted to thwa...
Manhattan's DA Reminds You Upskirting Is Illegal There, And Gross Everywhere
Not every state has rules on the books making it illegal for men to covertly photograph a woman’s genital region just because she’s wearing a dress or a skirt. (I’m sure lawmakers in those states just have more faith in people’s inherent respect for women’s bodies.) But New York does. ...
Cup Stacking Seems Like a Pretty Chill Sport
According to The New York Times, cup stacking, an event in which people from places like Oregon build a pyramid of cups as fast as humanly possible, is the newest, chillest sport....
<i>New York Times</i>: The NFL's Concussion Studies Were Even Flimsier Than We Thought
It’s been three years since the NFL reached a $765 million settlement in a class-action suit filed by former players who claimed the league actively obscured the harmful effects of concussions. A big piece of that cover-up was a series of league-funded studies that downplayed the health risks associ...
14-Seed Stephen F. Austin Shocks WVU
The upsets continued tonight at the NCAA tournament as 14-seeded Stephen F. Austin rocked the West Virginia Mountaineers, with the final minutes being a blowout as WVU melted down and the Lumberjacks made the most of the opportunities....
MTSU Knocks Off Michigan State For Eighth 15-Over-2 Upset Ever
The Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders entered college basketball immortality after a wire-to-wire upset of second-seeded Michigan State, becoming just the eighth 15-seed to win in the NCAA tournament’s round of 64....
Northern Iowa Shocks Top-Ranked North Carolina
#1 North Carolina went down to Cedar Falls, Iowa to take on Northern Iowa and lost 71-67 after the Panthers capped their furious comeback (they won the second half 39-26) with a game-winning steal. Pretty good cornerback instincts here!...
How Ronda Rousey Lost
You’ve seen the kick. We’ve all seen the kick. Left shin meets jaw/neck, and Ronda Rousey is out. It was a brutal, iconic moment, but it’s almost beside the point: Holly Holm was already beating Rousey, and beating her badly. She wasn’t just edging her out; it was total domination from start to fini...
Gene Upshaw's Wife Says She Gave Up Her Entire Family To Marry Him
When I was growing up in Oakland in the 1990s Gene Upshaw’s heyday had long since passed, but he was still beloved by Raider Nation and seemingly everybody involved in football. Ten, fifteen, twenty years after his Hall of Fame career he was still feted by Al Davis and the entire Raiders organizatio...
Can I Sue My Ex For Giving Me Chlamydia On Purpose?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today’s query:...
Cool Pope Readies Prog-Rock Album; Here Is The First Track
Yeah, you heard me. Rolling Stone has reported that Pope Francis will be releasing a “pop-rock” album entitled Wake Up in late November. The LP will feature “the Pontiff delivering sacred hymns and excerpts of his most moving speeches in multiple languages paired with uplifting musical accompaniment...
Stanford Is The First Upset Victim Of The College Football Season
Stanford University, a Silicon Valley-sponsored industry suckup named after a racist robber baron, just lost to an unranked Northwestern team starting a freshman at QB. The Cardinal generated 240 whole yards of offense, turned the ball over twice (it could have been worse, as Northwestern dropped se...
Horse Owned By Wes Welker Wins Diamond Jubilee Stakes At Royal Ascot
Undrafted, a horse owned by NFL wide receiver Wes Welker, stormed from last place to take a surprising win at today’s Grade 1 Diamond Jubilee Stakes on the final day of the Royal Ascot. ...
The Nats Are Making A Mess Of Their Uniforms, My God
This season, the Nationals have taken up the rather messy celebratory anointing of players with chocolate syrup. The Washington Post put together a explainer that promises “a comprehensive look” at the origins and impact of the ritual dousing of ice cream toppings, as well as instructions for “how y...
A Gently Annotated List Of Washington Nationals Promos And Giveaways
Previously: The Baltimore Orioles....
Can You Pass The F.B.I.'s Fitness Exam?
For the first time in 16 years, the F.B.I. is checking to make sure all its agents stay in some semblance of shape. While all agents are required to go through a fairly vigorous fitness exam when they first join the bureau, the New York Times reports that the F.B.I. ended their once-mandatory annual...