us Page 1012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

May The Force Beat With You
This rugged-looking woman is not your ordinary female MMA warrior fighting at Saturday's "Princesses of Pain" event in New Zealand. No, this woman is Amanda Lucas, daughter of George Lucas, of Star Wars infamy....

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after attending just another typical wedding in Arkansas ... • College softball: Women's College World Series, at Oklahoma City: Game 3, Arizona State vs. Alabama (7 p.m., ET). Pithy comment about women's softball would go here. [ESPN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Game 5, San Anto...

Former Major Leaguer Killed By Lightning, As We Are Left To Ponder, WTF?
As we open the file of stuff you never in a million years thought would happen: Former major leaguer Geremi Gonzalez was killed by lightning on Sunday while riding a personal watercraft on a lake in his native Venezuela. You may recall that Gonzalez won 11 games for the Cubs as a rookie in 1997, but...

Beckett And Boston Get ________ed
Justin Duchscherer was joking around before his start against the Boston Red Sox: ''I said, 'Those guys don't want none of me today 'cuz I'm going to pull a Lester on 'em,'' Duchscherer recalled with a grin. ''In the sixth inning, I was thinking, 'Did I really say that before the game?' '' Yes, Just...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Chris Cooley-ooley-ooley-o Is Making All Men Look Silly
Redskin Chris Cooley's nuptials are happening this Friday, and what better way to express his joyfulness and show off his hot-ass soon-to-be wife than post a long, heartfelt story about his pending marriage at the House That Mottram Built....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wind down from your wild Victoria Day festivities ... • Arena Football League: Los Angeles at Chicago (8 p.m., ET). Those who are about to die, salute you! [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Houston (7 p.m., ET). Theodore Roosevelt Lilly attempts to take San Juan Hill. [ESPN] • NBA:...

When Shopping For Fancy Soaps And Duvet Covers, Will Allen Takes No Chances
A confounding incident involving the Miami Dolphins' Will Allen at a Miami Bed, Bath and Beyond parking lot has the veteran cornerback being questioned by local police. There are conflicting stories and it's not entirely clear what the beef was about, but there is some speculation:...

Tyson Hits Cannes (Not Literally)
James Toback's film Tyson debuted on Friday night at the Cannes Film Festival, and reviews are about what you'd expect (the words "honest" and "self-serving" pop up quite a bit). The film is simple in it's approach, consisting mostly of Tyson speaking directly to the camera about how, and why, he's ...

Super Blogdome Returns
• Breaking out some offseason footbLOL, because it's what all the cool kids are doing. [Everyday Should Be Saturday] • Woody Paige's insecurity is showing. [Awful Announcing] • John McCain might be getting down with the sports blogosphere. [SportsByBrooks]...

About Last Night
What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting... • MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk. • NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible ...

Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly o...

Our Field Trip To Miller Park
We would like to formally thank everyone who made our visit to Milwaukee this weekend so enjoyable. We saw two NL Central "contenders" fire their closers, two games decided in the ninth inning and we even took the "hard hat" tour of the Miller Brewing plant, where we saw, first hand, why people are ...

Douchetastic USC Walk-On Video Is Neuheisel's Gain
In what's already been something of a frustrating day for Southern California, a story gaining traction is that UCLA football coach Rick Neuheisel has been using the above video as a way to convince recruits to stear clear of USC, presumably because Brennan Carroll, the son of head coach Pete Carrol...

Drinking Helmet Enhances Signs, Eases Their Display
The drinking helmet is not only a good sign complement. It's a must. [The Sports Hernia]...

O.J. Mayo Reportedly Accepted Gifts And Cash In High School And At USC
The WWL is all over its report this morning on "Outside the Lines" featuring the claim from a former associate of NBA prospect O.J. Mayo that the player accepted $30,000 in cash and gifts over the last four years from a Los Angeles-based event promoter....

White Sox Locker Room Is Not A Safe Environment For Women, Real Or Inflatable
Ozzie Guillen and the White Sox are now in the midst of being criticized (again) by some sports writers and the Association For Women In Sports Media for their creative blow-up doll, slump-busting shrine. The Association said said the shrine creates an "uncomfortable" environment for female sports w...

Miguel Tejada Homers For The Sick Kids
We know that Miguel Tejada is supposed to be Public Enemy Number Uno these days — "E-60" certainly thinks so — but he had his Superhero moment this weekend, hitting a home run he'd promised to a kid with muscular dystrophy....