us Page 1014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jimmy Clausen's Drinking Game Prowess Prompts Investigation By Notre Dame
Jimmy Clausen is the starting quarterback for Notre Dame. Last year he, along with the entire team, had a horrible season. Which was disappointing because Clausen, the nation's consensus top quarterback, committed to Notre Dame in such an understated fashion: By pulling up in a limo to the College ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after turning your cat gay ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN] • Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic] • American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in ...
Olympic Athletes Are Even More Fascinating Than You Thought
As you might have heard, the Olympics begin on Friday, and, as Bob Costas and NBC will be eager to relentlessly pound into your brain, these are American Olympic Heroes we'll be watching on 12-hour time delays. These are not the run-of-the-mill money-grubbing professional athletes we have become ac...
Honus Wagner Baseball Card Auctioned for $1.62 million
Anyone who collected baseball cards is familiar with the Honus Wagner story. When the 1909 baseball card set was released Wagner demanded that his card be pulled and only 100 were made. Now only ten or so of those cards are still in existence and the card is the single most sought after by baseball...
If Team USA Fails to Win Gold Again, Will Whores Be to Blame?
Team USA, undefeated in meaningless games against international competition thus far this summer, is having a grand ol' time in Asia right now. But as much fun as it is to beat up on hairy foreigners, there's nothing quite like visiting some of the finer brothels the region has to offer. Just ask Le...
Mike Williams, Former First Rounder in 2005, Cut By Third Team
What's worst of all about that, the Titans cut him. And the Titans have the worst receiving corps in the NFL. As if that weren't bad enough Williams was released by the Raiders last October. Since being drafted by the Detroit Lions as the 10th overall pick in the 2005 Draft, Williams has been relea...
Ron Artest and Yao Ming Are Already Feuding
Yao expressed some concern about whether or not Artest would still be fighting and going into the stands. Which isn't that big of a surprise considering that the Chinese calendar says it's still 2004. But Ron Artest wasn't pleased by the comments. So he did what Ron Artest always does, gave the Hou...
Scott Ferrall Needs Some Publicity
Sirius/XM Satellite Radio host Scott Ferrall actually had Ron Artest on-air last night and asked the forward about the pending trade to Houston. Unfortunately, Artest wasn't aware of the trade at that time. "I had my phone off," Artest tells the raspy-voiced Ferrall. Although he was a little shocked...
Rush Limbaugh Pursuing the Rams?
Would the universe implode if he traded for Donovan McNabb? Aside from his short-lived experiment with ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown, Rush previously worked in promotions for the Kansas City Royals and frequently references his sports fandom on his show. Speculation on Limbaugh as an owner has intens...
When It Comes Right Down To It, Maybe Cheerleaders Really Are Just A Bunch Of Brazen Exhibitionists
Late last night Deadspin received an email with the subject " Former USC Song Girl Sarah Carmona" which, even though harmless enough, can only mean something salacious would be attached. True to form, the accompanying emailer described the pictures yanked from Ms. Carmona's Facebook page which inclu...
His Worst Scars Will Be Psychological, Of Course
I'm no rodeo expert, but I'm pretty sure this kid isn't doing it right. But such is life in the breakneck world of mutton busting; sometimes you ride the mutton, and sometimes the mutton rides you. Yes, mutton busting ... because in the old west, it was so important to break the wild sheep herds tha...
Looking for Why Gators Are Dominant? It Starts In Erin Andrews' Bed
Because, you see, the team is successful because Erin has realized that if she strips the bed of all pillows and comforters then good things happen. And occasionally, for superstitious reasons, she has the other girls over for sex-toy slumber parties and they exchange lingerie tips and...this is to...
Sastre Wins the Tour Pending a Few Dozen Piss Tests
Carlos Sastre continued Spain's dominance in all things sport this summer (watch out LeBron) with his win at the 2008 Tour de France. Of course that wasn't the only news to come out of the oft-marred race following the final stage. ...
Milk Mustaches and Shoulder Fingers
Now do you people see what happens when big dairy fills their cows with hormones? We get Olympic swimmers like Maritza Correia with fingers growing out of their damn shoulders. And I know that can't be good for resistance. Body By Milk via SI...
Just Because Justin Gimelstob Doesn't Like Her, It Doesn't Mean He Can't Stare Intently
Here's a photo from Down The Line that shows Washington Kastles hard-on Justin Gimbelstob admiring Anna Kournikova's newly-inflated kaploogas at a recent World Team Tennis match in Washington D.C. Gimbelstob, as you may remember, not-so-famously said that Kournikova was a "bitch" and that he "despis...
Why MLB.com's New iPhone Application Is A Waste Of Cash
So, bringing my transformation into a New York media douchebag full circle, I bought an iPhone the other day. I'm kind of obsessed with it; I sometimes find myself clicking on the little GPS feature, just to remind myself where I am. "Look! The iPhone knows I'm at Trout! It went all the way to oute...
Please Refrain From Soiling The Spirit Of The Olympics With Your Hirsute Homosexuality
Here's an amusing story out of Washington involving an alternative lifestyle organization (The Northwest Bears) and the stuffy policies of the United States Olympic Committee. The Bears were busy promoting their annual summer campout which they originally dubbed "Kamp Kodiak 2008 Olympic Village," u...
Your 2008 USC Song Girl Scouting Report
The USC Song Girls have already given us so much. We've thrilled to their daring poolside athleticism, shown concern over their reckless abuse of our natural resources, marveled at their bikini greatness, investigated their booties and laughed at their sheer, utter blondness. They even write for ESP...
Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps
Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your ...
ESPN Mum About Timberlake "Shuckin' And Jivin'" Comments
Last Wednesday, when Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPY Awards, he received mostly positive reviews for his first-time hosting abilities. The entire event went off hitch-free and was perfectly entertaining for those who love watching sports figures and entertainers ham it up at pointless awards shows...