us Page 1017 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The World Is Clearly Not Ready For Justin Gimelstob
Jewish tennis fiend Justin Gimelstob caused a stir with his sexist, provocative, "hateful" comments about Anna Kournikova and other plump-chassis'd ladies of the WTA and has apologized. Gimelstob, who was first featured on this site a couple weeks ago after the Mighty Dan Steinberg interviewed the...
Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....
Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...
Here Kid, Have A Mercedes
So there's this occupation in European soccer called boot boy, which is a kind of apprenticeship in which a young player does chores around the clubhouse (so I'm told). The pay is low, but I hear the tips are fabulous. This item is a couple of weeks old, but it's the first I've heard of it: Birmingh...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured it's message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Shawn Chacon's Guide To Punching Your Boss In The Face
You know what baseball needs more of? Physical fistfights between general managers and players. Imagine the fisticuffs that would ensue between Jon Daniels and Milton Bradley. Jim Bowden and Elijah Dukes. Heavens, Theo Epstein and David Ortiz. We might buy a pay-per-view of that....
About Last Night
What you missed while celebrating your city's choice as the Nation's Sweatiest City ... • NBA: Jermaine O’Neal to be sent from Pacers to Raptors for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, 17th pick in the draft and a player to be named. But it's not official yet, so don't spread this around. [Yahoo Sports] • ...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your horse enjoys Uncle Jimmy's Hanging Balls ... • College World Series: Championship series, Game 2, Georgia vs. Fresno State in Omaha (7 p.m., ET). That guy in your office who keeps saying "I predict the Bulldogs will win!" ... you have my permission to poke him in both eyes w...
They Sure Know How To Celebrate A Win In Russia
You think Boston fans were out of control after the Celtics won the NBA Finals? (OK, maybe they weren't.) Regardless, nobody has anything on the Russians....
Smack My Bitch Up: Major League Baseball's Continuing Domestic Abuse Problem
Today is the second anniversary of Phillies pitcher Brett Myers' post-wife beating game start. Philadelphia magazine writer Rich Rys examines the impact of that decision and how it's affected his career and what it says about Major League Baseball''s handling of domestic violence cases. He can be r...
The Best Bronze Medal Money Can Buy?
The U.S. Olympic basketball roster was announced on Monday, and looking it over I think that we've finally engineered a lineup that can beat Angora. USA! USA! Getting by Argentina and Lithuania may be more problematic. Anyway, you've got your Kobe Bryant, your LeBron James, your Dwyane Wade, your Ca...
The Cardinals Just May Have Changed The Game As We Know It
Dilemma: How to lug a cooler full of refreshing beverages to the bullpen each day without injuring certain medial collateral ligaments? Solution: The motorized cooler. Credit Cardinals' reliever Jason Isringhausen — who had to keep busy somehow while on the 15-day DL — with this upgrade of a regular...
The Imus Fallout: The Newly Christened Adam Jones Takes Umbrage
Predictably, Don Imus' comments yesterday about Adam "Ex-Pac" Jones have triggered more debate about the old man's motivations: Has he finally lost it? Will he be fired? Is he really just a hood-wearing racist hiding behind a shock jock's microphone? All legitimate questions....
Don Imus: Still Not Being Too Friendly To The Black Folk
Regardless of where you sit on the whole Imus/"nappy-headed ho" spectrum, it was pretty apparent that Imus did at least acknowledge how something like that could be considered offensive. Sure. That's his job: Be an old hillbilly crank and sometimes be the voice of the ignorant truth, for whatever ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wondering why it's always Ohio... • MLB: Chicago White Sox at Chicago Cubs. I'm told they're not fond of each other, and with good reason. [ESPN] • NBC: Olympics: U.S. Olympic Qualifying, Women's Gymnastics. Make.It.Stop. • Show: Weeds, in case you missed Monday's season premier....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to forget this little bit of nightmare fuel (I suggest trying some of this stuff)... • CWS: Fresno State vs. UNC, loser goes home (unless Fresno wins). [ESPN] • Olympics: U.S. Olympic Trials, Women's Gymnastics. Try not to stare, it's rude and creepy. [NBC] • Boxing: See b...
Why Didn't Anyone Try This On Donaghy?
The New Castle County soccer league of Delaware might not be home to the kind of grace and skill we've seen from Euro 2008, but their games sure as hell sound entertaining. Ranord A. "Not Pacman" Jones disagreed with a referee's call, so the player reacted as any of us would, by taking a chunk out ...
A Thoughtful, Critical Analysis On Jiggling Breasts And Overeating
Excuse the blatant self-promotion for a minute, but it's Friday, and it's always important to celebrate high points in one's career. That is why I am posting an article I wrote for this month's Penthouse magazine about last year's venerable Philadelphia gorge-puke-and-boobfest, "Wing Bowl."...
San Francisco Columnist Condemns Tiger's Idiocracy
Maybe it was time for one writer to stop slobbering over Tiger Woods' U.S. Open victory, but San Franciso Gate columnist Gwen Knapp appears to have gone a little overboard with her contrarianism. In her column titled " A golfing genius takes a dumb step", Knapp just levels Eldrick for his outright s...