us Page 1024 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Give A Warm Forum Welcome To Day One Of The NBA Season
Welcome the return of your daily recap of NBA "action."...
No Longer Will Your Finger Jousting Competitions Be Lawless
We've talked to you about the great sport of finger jousting before, but we are proud to report that the World Finger Jousting Federation has come up with an official set of rules. They're quite helpful....
English Football (The Real Kind)
Liverpool took an early lead within the friendly confines of Anfield but they couldn't hold off red-hot Arsenal for the full 90 minutes. Liverpool took a quick lead courtesy of a low rocket delivered by Steven Gerrard on a fixed piece in the sixth minute. From there the defense took root in an attem...
Once In a Blue Moon
The World Series has finally come to the hallowed grounds of Coors Field and Denver is welcoming the Red Sox with balmy 36 degree weather. It's Dice-K vs. Fogg and they're both going to be wielding the half-frozen lumber. Terry Francona has opted to hold Kevin Youkilis' bat and glove, somebody shoul...
Tony Romo Knows That To Impress Girls, You've Got To Have Skills
Why, why, Tony Romo? You and Carrie Underwood were so perfect for each other! And now this conniving temptress Sophia Bush comes between you? Is there nothing to believe in anymore?...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day of wok racing ... • NHL: New York Rangers at Pittsburgh. Pengui-mania! [Versus] • Soccer: UEFA Champions League, first round, CSKA Moscow at Inter Milan. What they'll all be talking about at the water cooler tomorrow. [ESPN Classic] • College football: Michigan State vs. Oh...
Dennis Miller is Coming And It Seems There's Nothing We Can Do About It
Hey there kemosabe it's me, Dennis Miller. While it's true that I've had more shows than the original Broadway run of Cats, I really don't see how one more is going to hurt. Hair plugs aren't cheap, OK babe? So pull up a footstool and check out the promo for my latest offering, Sports Unfiltered wi...
Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....
About Last Night
What you missed while recovering from paintball injuries ... • NFL: Hey, the Colts have a defense too. Indianapolis 29, Jacksonviille 7. • NBA: Knicks' exhibition win over Celtics probably won't be repeated any time soon. New York 94, Boston 87. • Soccer: Whose your daddy? Not Greg Ryan, who is out ...
Tony LaRussa Will Drive The Cardinals Car Again
Looks like the police officers of Jupiter, Fla., might have some more reasons to pose for pictures next spring: Tony LaRussa is returning as manager of the Cardinals....
Cleveland, You Have A Lot Of 'Splainin' To Do
What they're saying in parents' basements everywhere about Boston's 11-2 win over Cleveland in the deciding game of the American League Championship Series ......
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...
Six NBA Referees Aren't Suspended For Gambling, But Instead Suspended
This morning, we learned about a few unmentioned NBA referees being disciplined by David Stern for minor gambling infractions. But if you heard this first on MSNBC, you might be a little confused by the conflicting subhead/lede combination. So I'm here to clear this up....
Jake Plummer Is Obsessed With Tiny Blue Balls
It's Sunday, and the following quarterbacks are starting for NFL teams this week: Kerry Collins, Cleo Lemon, Kyle Boller, and Brian Griese. With Timmy Chang probably a Tim Rattay elbow injury away from getting a phone call, some fans are probably amazed that they could use the services Jake Plummer ...
Patriots. Red Sox. Boston College. You just can't stop ANY of them. As if Massachusetts sports fans didn't have enough to tout, New England Revolution midfielder Michael Parkhurst scored his first career goal ... from midfield. Here's video proof that Jesus is simply engrossed in a month-long chowde...
Put That Remote Down Right Now, Or So Help Me
Non Football TV 12 noon — Women's Volleyball: Ohio State at Wisconsin [ESPN2] 12 noon — F1 Racing: Brazilian Grand Prix [Speed] 12 noon — Movie: Monsters, Inc. [Disney] 1:00 p.m. — PBA Bowling: Dydo Japan Cup [ESPN] 1:30 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Subway 500, Martinsville, Virginia [ABC] 3:00 p.m. — AST Dew...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...