us Page 1027 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Fake Tats Are An Excellent Recruiting Tool
In today's smash-mouth world of college football recruiting, desperate times call for desperate measures, and desperate measures call for temporary tattoos. That's just the way it is....

The Greatest College Basketball Chant - Ever
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming The Floor....

Tony Romo Thinks He Can Do Better
Good news, fellows ... Jessica Simpson may soon be available. So for Heaven's sake start wearing collared shirts! (Preferably popped.) Word is that Tony Romo would like to dump her ... only she's not going easily. Hmm. Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction comes to mind here for some reason....

It's Got To Be The Shoes, Money
We are sad to say that Jonah Keri has discontinued his College Basketball Closer; we will miss him. But that's not all for the Closer; we'd like to hand the mic to the gang at Storming The Floor to fill in....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while caressing your newest, proudest possession: Gary Coleman's pants ... • College basketball: Michigan at Wisconsin (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Kentucky (9 p.m., ET). Say hello to Kige if you go. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Montreal (7:30 p.m., ET). So much better than televised fishing,...

Rick Majerus Should Probably Just Stop Referring To The Groin Area
You thought Rick Majerus was just in trouble for pulling out his penis in front of his players. Nope! He made the tiny mistake of expressing his views on abortion....

Jim Calhoun Has A Knack For Agate Type
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

Dispatching Of the Swedes
Brad Guzan took full advantage of his opportunity on the big stage. The young American keeper was outstanding in America's shutout win against a fairly well-stocked Swedish national team. Eddie Robinson earned his first cap at the age of 29 and capitalized almost immediately with the match's first g...

Happy Championship Sunday!
Ladies and gentlemen, start your countdown. We're now just eight hours away from kickoff in the first game of the NFL's Championship Sunday. Things get underway at 3 pm eastern when San Diego will call the toss in Foxborough, and with any luck the game will still be competitive at 3:30. Once that's ...

Getting Friendly With the Swedes
The United States Men's National Team is back in action tonight at 8:30 in an international friendly against Sweden, and that means good soccer and sexy women. Tonight's contest is being held in Carson, California, so we're going to be in for a heavier dose of the puritanical American fans. Since w...

Rick Majerus Will Show You His Billiken
I'm not sure what the monster is supposed to be in Cloverfield, but it can't be any more horrifying than this. From the pages of Sports Illustrated, via Larry Brown Sports, comes Tales of Nude Rick Majerus. Apparently the Saint Louis coach loves being naked, and it's not the good naked, as Seinfeld ...

Cleveland State Snatches Victory Marshmallows
Screaming Vikings. The Butler didn't do it. Haven't had enough time elapse since the last use of bruised-cucumber infused beverage humor, unfortunately. Still, the Vikings did plenty of screaming last night, as Cleveland State knocked off No. 12 Butler 56-52. The win marked just the second time the ...

Greg Paulus Flops Like A Champion
If you needed any more proof that Duke will always, always be Duke, here's the egregious flops from Duke's Greg Paulus during last night's Duke-Florida State game....

The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...

Saying Goodbye To Scott Rolen
Even though the infighting between Scott Rolen and Tony LaRussa made the trade pretty much inevitable, we were still sad to see Scott Rolen traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. We like Glaus, don't get us wrong; the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid t...

Get A Job With ESPN Through The Comments
So you know how pretty much every page on ESPN.com has a "conversation" element anymore? (Except, of course, for Simmons' columns. But that's probably your/our/all-of-our fault. Sorry.) Well, that includes the ESPN Job Postings page, which leads to some awfully amusing comments....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

It's Hard Out There For A Billiken
To put Saint Louis University's loss to George Washington on Thursday into perspective, portly coach Rick Majerus himself could have played point guard for the Billikens, and it wouldn't have hurt. Final: GW 49, Saint Louis 20. That's the lowest total for an NCAA men's team since the shot clock was ...

The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....

Attention Oprah's Book Club: The New Reggie Bush Tell-All Is Here
Not in time for Christmas, darn it, but sure to make for cozy fireside reading nonetheless; the new Reggie Bush book, Don Yaeger's Tarnished Heisman, is here. Is this the Game of Shadows of college football? There's apparently enough evidence of financial impropriety involving Bush at USC to make th...