us Page 1030 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're At The End Of Our Rope
It's a sad day here at Deadspin World Headquarters, as the Talking Dennis Miller action figure was found hanged to death early this morning by the cleaning crew. Suicide is suspected, although I blame the cat. His last words were thought to have included a snarky insult of some sort, followed by an ...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching your stuffed bear get really REALLY excited that Christmas is near ... • NFL: Cleveland beats Baltimore 33- ... no wait, the officials are calling the teams back to the field yet again. This should be over by Tuesday. • Can anyone stop those rampaging Lakers? LA 106, C...
Rich People Helping Rich People
At some point Alex Rodriguez, the richest man in baseball in the world, struck up a friendship with the third richest person in the world, Warren Buffett. Well now A-Rod is going to the Oracle of Omaha for advice on his baseball career....
It's Filled With Flaxy Goodness
Sales of flax seed oil have gone through the roof thanks to the constant coverage of one Barry Bonds....
Cherundolo's Goal Is the Difference In Johannesburg
The US Men's National Team earned a victory over South Africa this morning (at least it was this morning here, I think it was tomorrow there). A 27th minute goal scored off of a Steve Cherundolo run was all the US needed to hold off an attacking opponent. The 28 year-old defender was probably the la...
Break Up The Blue Jackets!
It's the NHL Closer. We pass the mic to the kids at Orland Kurtenblog. Their NHL Closer is written by Canadians for Americans....
Defying The Odds, Our Hero Makes It To Week 2
My Talking Dennis Miller Action Figure arrived in the mail today, and I'm happier than Wink Martindale on the Island of Topless Double-D Spokesmodels. Although on close inspection Talking Dennis more resembles the guy who sold me my term life insurance. So far I haven't been able to find the button ...
The Texans Bring You Deep Inside The Game
Say what you will about the Houston Texans organization, but they know how to sell their Web site. As End Zone Buzz discovered, the official Texans cheerleader page has some, uh, interesting Web innovations....
This Tattoo Should Cause No Problems Whatsoever
Know how I know your team is gay? It's, um, tattooed right on your arm there. Let this be a lesson to you kids: Beer, Aussie Rules football and Thai tattoo parlors generally don't mix. That's always been my motto, anyway....
Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...
Play Sports, Drink Beer
If a serial killer broke into my apartment while I was sleeping in the nude, and I only had enough time to either throw on pair of jeans OR put on some running shoes, I would pick the running shoes every time. Yup. I feel much more vulnerable barefoot than when I'm actually naked. Shoes give me powe...
Yao Vs. Yi: 250 Million Chinese Viewers Can't Be Wrong
It's a fine Friday afternoon as Awful Announcing asks the musical question, is anyone aware that the largest television audience ever for a sporting event could take place tonight? That's right folks, it's Yi vs. Yao! From the Houston Chronicle:...
Please Keep Roger Clemens At The Forefront Of Your Brain
One would have thought, after that "ow, my hamstring, I have to LEAVE!" display by Roger Clemens in the ALDS last month, the "Rocket," as they call him, would finally realize it's better to leave well enough alone. But no: Even though he's happy to take that "services contract" from the Astros — one...
The Houston Texans Are Full Of Political Intrigue
Amazingly, there's all kinds of political strife in the former Soviet land of Georgia. We know. Protests and corruption in Russia; now we've seen everything. Apparently the major opposition party is led by Matt Schaub. They're totally regretting passing on Reggie Bush as the leader of the oppositio...
Welcome To The NHL, Kid
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Jiri Tlusty is one of the top young prospects in the NHL, and he scored two goals a couple weeks ago despite only being 19 years old. So how is he welcomed to the big time? Some Canadian Perez Hilton knockoff site keeps calling him gay....
Marbury Wants You To Know That Only He Sells Cheapass Shoes
Considering he has testified under oath that he had sex with a Knicks intern in his car — and then helped get her a better job! — Stephon Marbury needs all the good PR he can get. Hence, those cheap sneakers he sells, which help inner city kids become more like Stephon Marbury, which is totally a go...
That Highly Successful Buzzsaw
We always get a kick out of these occasional "Best Sports Franchises" studies. ESPN does them, The Sporting News has some, we think even MTV did them once. We like them because they inevitably have our Buzzsaw near the bottom of the list. Sometimes even at the very bottom....
Dennis Is Here! Rejoice!
So is it mere coincidence that Dennis Miller starts his new sports show on Versus on the same day that we open our Sports Human of the Year nominations? (lowers glasses, looks thoughtfully at reader). We weren't born yesterday, babe. Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller kicked off on Tuesday, and if...