us Page 1032 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...
Six NBA Referees Aren't Suspended For Gambling, But Instead Suspended
This morning, we learned about a few unmentioned NBA referees being disciplined by David Stern for minor gambling infractions. But if you heard this first on MSNBC, you might be a little confused by the conflicting subhead/lede combination. So I'm here to clear this up....
Jake Plummer Is Obsessed With Tiny Blue Balls
It's Sunday, and the following quarterbacks are starting for NFL teams this week: Kerry Collins, Cleo Lemon, Kyle Boller, and Brian Griese. With Timmy Chang probably a Tim Rattay elbow injury away from getting a phone call, some fans are probably amazed that they could use the services Jake Plummer ...
Patriots. Red Sox. Boston College. You just can't stop ANY of them. As if Massachusetts sports fans didn't have enough to tout, New England Revolution midfielder Michael Parkhurst scored his first career goal ... from midfield. Here's video proof that Jesus is simply engrossed in a month-long chowde...
Put That Remote Down Right Now, Or So Help Me
Non Football TV 12 noon — Women's Volleyball: Ohio State at Wisconsin [ESPN2] 12 noon — F1 Racing: Brazilian Grand Prix [Speed] 12 noon — Movie: Monsters, Inc. [Disney] 1:00 p.m. — PBA Bowling: Dydo Japan Cup [ESPN] 1:30 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Subway 500, Martinsville, Virginia [ABC] 3:00 p.m. — AST Dew...
Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...
ESPN Fills Badly Needed Smart-Alecky Middle-Aged White Guy Quota
A couple days ago, Boss casually wondered how Rick Reilly would handle working alongside Dan Patrick at Sports Illustrated. I suppose taking his old job is the logical reaction....
Dan Patrick Finds Place To Peddle His Wares
We know you've been dying to find out the next move for Dan Patrick. He's got his national radio show now, his Web site and, hopefully, more Applebee's commercials with barbecue sauce all over himself. (Or whatever crappy chain restaurant that was; they all blend into one for us.) Well, Patrick has ...
Big Bad Schaub Is An Inch Shorter Than Big Bad John
I couldn't possibly wait 'til tomorrow to post this. It just felt wrong, you know? Via Hashmarks and Sox & Dawgs, comes this Matt Schaub-inspired remake of "Big Bad John" written and performed by the Houston Chronicle's Texans beat team. Please pray that Matt doesn't get trapped in a mine on his way...
The Packers Are Bringing Sexy Back
Before the Bears-Packers game on Sunday night, some of those celebrity types were wrangled up and escorted into a holding pen, lest their celestial superpowers overtake those of Brett Favre. In the above picture, James Van Der Beek — most famous for his role as Lincoln Rogers Dunnison in 2001's Te...
You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....
Of Monday Hangovers, Booty Calls, And The Biggest Upset In College Football History
To put Stanford's win over USC into the proper perspective this morning, you should know that the Stanford Tree woke up with a raging hangover, empty tequila bottles strewn about his apartment and a pair of panties dangling from his upper branches. OK, that just means it's Monday. For real perspect...
Rockies Sweep, Just As They Prayed For
Major League Baseball's only team with an official religious affiliation is moving on to their first National League Championship Series. Although it's a new level of baseball for the young franchise there will be a sense of familiarity with their opponent. With Arizona and Colorado each sweeping th...
They Should See His Swatch Collection
I think we can all agree that OJ has regained his status as a constant source of entertainment. The former running back/pitchman/double-murderer is back in the news this weekend after thanks to his latest controversy, a phony Rolex. Someone in the Goldman camp noticed that the Juice was sporting a w...