us Page 1034 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after doing the Fish Slapping Dance at Pike's Place Market ... • College football: West Virginia at Maryland. Finally, a game Michigan won't lose. [ESPN] • Soccer: MLS, Los Angeles at Chivas USA. Hey, we still have Edson Buddle! Come on out! [ESPN2] • WNBA: Finals, Game 4, Detroit at P...

Being Scared Of Detection Can Hurt Team Morale
Viva El Birdos brings up a stat we hadn't noticed, and one that kind of blew us away: In the games since Rick Ankiel, Jay Gibbons and Troy Glaus were linked with illegal steroids and/or HGH, their teams have yet to win a game....

You Should See His ... Well, You Know
Cricket is a man's sport. You don't tend the wickets without paying the price, as Engalnd's Dave Morrison shows here in that bastion of journalism integrity and excellence, The Sun. Actually I know nothing of cricket, or the British health care system, but one thing I do know: Dave gives the best e...

Will This Be Belichick's Watergate?
So you suppose the question now is: What did Bill Belichick know, and when did he know it? After a Patriots staffer was busted videotaping the Jets sideline on Sunday, the NFL checked out the confiscated tape and — cover your ears, Simmons! — determined that the guy was stealing coaches' signs. Ther...

Do You Have Irish-Wolverines Fever?
If you didn't get your fill of quality football from that train wreck at Monster Park last night, worry not: You still have the Notre Dame-Michigan game to look forward to this Saturday. Yes, the 0-2 Fighting Irish travel to the 0-2 Wolverines in a game that has all the intrigue of two 80-year-old m...

The Patriots Are Always Watching
As this photo from the Patriots-Jets game would seem to indicate, New England may be guilty of stealing New York's defensive signals from the sidelines during their game on Sunday. Of course, why they would do such a thing is another matter ... it's like Lisa Simpson peaking at Ralph Wiggum's test a...

In Case You're Already Ready For College Hoops
We've long told you about our intense fandom of the Baseball Prospectus kingdom they've gotten over there. In addition to BP, they've got Football Outsiders — or th yearly Pro Football Prospectus, anyway — and now they've created a new brand under the umbrella: Basketball Prospectus....

OK, That's It, You're Grounded
Jason Krause is a nice kid who should be home watching The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, not speculating on the Lions' chances of winning 10 games this season. My favorite part is when he says of Roy Williams: "You want to hear something freakish, Roy? Look at your record; the Lions haven't had a win...

Stableford: Djokovic's A Kitten, Federer's A Cougar
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. Sometimes we're tempted to call his column "Droppin' A Deuce With Dylan Stableford." We are not sure why....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to convince everyone that Timmy's in the well again ... • NFL: Ever notice that Frank Caliendo does a better Madden than Madden himself? Cowboys 45, Giants 35. • MLB: Take that, and that and THAT ... Brewers unleash the hounds, retake sole possession of first. • Track & ...

It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....

Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...

We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...

Kill Kill Kill Comes to Deadspin
Of course they had to go and suspend the righteous mallard for next week's home game against Fresno State. Damn, I really would have liked to see the duck in action against Lloyd Carr....

We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....


What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...