us Page 1034 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
• NBA Playoffs. Cavs 98, Pistons 82. I don't think Rasheed Wallace is taking this well. • MLB. Padres 11, Nationals 3. Justin Germano refuses to lose. Ever. • NHL. Senators 5, Mighty Ducks 3. Candadian pride might yet be salvaged....
Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch to top off another glorious Free Donut Day ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, James Kirkland vs. Ossie Duran; junior welterweights, Timothy Bradley vs. Donald Camarena, at Santa Ynez, Calif. Oh, you wanted "abuse." It's "being-hit-on-the-head" lessons in here. [Showtime] • College sof...
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Last Call For All Spelling Bee Bets!
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee — so lovingly run down by Mr. Daulerio — begins tomorrow, and, as always, the great minds at Throwing Things will be live-blogging the whole thing. Even though Mike and Mike are calling this thing, we still can't wait: The Spelling Bee remains one of our favo...
How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...
Bill Clement, You Sly Son Of A Bitch
Goodness. I hope that's not how he told his mom "Happy Mother's Day."...
Sammy Sosa, Back Before Everybody Hated Him
We just stumbled across this old video for Sammy Sosa's High Heat, a 2001 video game that's "so reeeeeeal." In light of Sosa's recent resurgence, and his gallop toward his 600th homer, we thought you might find it amusing....
Tom Verducci Really, Really Wants To Play Baseball
You might remember, from a couple of years ago, when Sports Illustrated baseball guru Tom Verducci played for five days with the Toronto Blue Jays during spring training. It was a clever idea, and well-written, as was his piece this year about serving as an umpire. But, like an athlete who has been ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the clocks slowly begin to melt ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This one decides the series! Let's go! (Shotgun!). [ESPN] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago Cubs as San Diego. Considering the weather, the Cubs just may stay. [WGN] • Boxing: Women's, junior wel...
Elijah Dukes Is Not Subtle About Voice Mail
Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is off to a splendid start this year, and just watching him play, you can tell he has superstar potential. Hell ... he could very well be the next Brett Myers!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while mopping up the loose teeth ... • NBA: For those who didn't watch it — which is pretty much everybody, we have a feeling — Spurs 108, Jazz 100. • NHL: If Emilio Estevez shows up, we're leaving ... Ducks 2, Red Wings 1 OT. • Tennis: Feat Of Clay ... Roger Federer ends Rafael Nada...
Watch Out For That Post, Mate
There's a prevailing stereotype out there that athletes are dumb. Yesterday, Australian Rules Football player Matthew Westfield did his part to see that this stereotype was upheld globally. He ran full-speed into a goal-post, broke it out of the ground, and wasn't phased....
The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...
We Will Cherish Him, And Keep Him Warm
You might remember, from a couple months ago, that famous eBay auction in which we discovered that Barbaro lives on forever through snack food. To remind, from the seller:...
Ah, The Sweet Relief Of Augusta
You can't quite tell from this far a way, but a reader who recently caddied for him at Augusta National lets us know that the gentleman urinating into the woods in this picture is none other than South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. Here's the before photo:...
The Return Of Tecmo Bowl
We don't know how we missed this piece of news yesterday, but The Fanhouse has the scoop: They're bringing back Tecmo Bowl!...