us Page 1038 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NCAA Pants Party: BYU Vs. Xavier
Brigham Young Cougars (25-8) vs. Xavier Musketeers (24-8) When: Thursday, 9:40 p.m. Where: Lexington...
A Lament For The Orange ... And Then We're Done With It
Now that the brackets are officially out, it's inevitable that everyone's talking about the snubs. (Ironically, one of the major "snubs" last year was supposedly Hofstra, who was overlooked in favor of George Mason.) The biggest snub of all is Syracuse, of course, which remains befuddled by its abse...
Like You're Above That, Lewis
This isn't new, but with the upcoming onslaught of ESPN tournament coverage, I thought it might be helpful to revisit some of the masturbatory habits of your favorite ESPN analysts. Majerus likes Ashley Judd, and in the absence of Ashley Judd, likes hotel room porno....
The Behavior In The WAC Is Very Disappointing
WAC commissioner Karl Benson (the Tiny Universe was unavailable for comment) is concerned about some of the behavior of his players and coaches during the WAC tournament. The Idaho Statesman runs down a list of poor WAC behavior, including Reggie Theus storming onto the floor and yelling at an oppos...
Holy Cross Crusaders
1. Before Chief Wahoo, there was Chief Sockalexis. Roughly 12 years before Jim Thorpe became the most famous Native American athlete ever, a Penobscot Indian named Louis Sockalexis was starring in football, track and baseball at College of the Holy Cross. After batting over .400 in college, Sockalex...
Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders
1. The house that Arrow built. TAMUCC has only been part of the Texas A&M system since 1989. In 1998, they hired South Alabama coach Ronnie Arrow to create a Division-I basketball program out of thin air. He did just that, cobbling together a pair of respectable .500 seasons before earning Independe...
Xavier Musketeers
1. Can't touch this! Junior guard Stanley Burrell is the second leading scorer for the Musketeers. No, not that Stanley Burrell!. The Xavier student section had nicknamed him "The Hammer" before he even set foot on campus....
USC's Grand Week Continues
You'd have to consider OJ Mayo an extremely unlikely candidate to launch a white supremacy website, but that doesn't mean the much-heralded USC basketball recruit can't find another way to get into trouble. Mayo was busted for misdemeanor marijuana possession last night in Huntington, West Virginia....
Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture Starring Rob Schneider And David Spade
Well, some elementary school or junior high was lucky enough to land Jesus as its soccer coach, although by the looks of this handsome mural, He has his work cut out for him. Ah well, the first day of practice is usually a feeling-out process for everyone, we're told. We'd also like to thank young D...
In Defense (?) Of Borges
In response to our Ron Borges and the Quote Pool Of Replenishing Nourishment item earlier today, a reporter (and colleague of Borges) writes in to (gently) take us to task, requesting that he/she remain anonymous. A quote:...
NBA Roundup: Ming Went The Strings Of Our Hearts
Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Ron Artest Might Have Sneaked In Some Early-Morning Spousal Battery
You know, you think you know a guy ......
Don't Expect Your Rec League To Adopt These
These, friends, are the future of college basketball uniforms, and that future is: SPANDEX! OK, not quite Spandex, but there's certainly a skin-tight vibe going on for the four teams who will supposedly try out the new duds during their conference championships this week: Ohio State, Syracuse, Flori...
NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....
Who Wouldn't Want This On Their Mantle?
Because we've fallen into the strange rut about writing about the groin areas of men in our late-day posts of late ... here's another one!...
Sports Illustrated Apologizes For All The Diarrhea
If the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition didn't have enough problems already — sorry, guys, it's not 1985 anymore; you have no idea how much more access we have to naked people now — it appears now they've got another issue: When you think of the SI swimsuit edition, you just have to think of Hepa...
Brent Musburger Will Kick Your Ass
A reader diddling around on the Toys R' Us Web site — don't ask — came across this lovely knick-knack: It's the official Brent Musburger action figure. Released in connection with Rocky II, this Brent is pumped up and ready to kick ass and drink some goddamn beer....
Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...
Britney Spears And Minor League Hockey; A Match Made In Heaven
We really don't know how to say this so we're just going to say it: The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League is offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their game on Saturday against the Manitoba Moose. (Terrorists throw down their weapons in disgust, give up)....
Reggie Bush Hurts His Ankle, But Not Without A Good Reason
As you might have heard, Reggie Bush suffered a minor ankle injury last night in some sort of lame "basketball" event on ESPN. I don't know who it was he was trying to swat. It was a white guy on the East team, which means it could have been David Arquette, Jamie Kennedy, or Bobby Flay (I think we c...