us Page 1057 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Roger Clemens Grounds His Son
We kind of like that final scene in The Natural, where Roy Hobbs is playing catch with his son in a wheat field. But when the subject is Roger Clemens playing baseball with his son, a couple of other films come to mind. • The Great Santini. Dad: Robert Duvall. Son: Michael O'Keefe. Quote: "You go...
Today In College Hoops...
UConn just put their thing down against Villanova this afternoon, winning by a score of 89-75 and avenging their earlier loss to the Wildcats. This is probably as much talent as is possible to put on one college basketball floor at one time this year. UConn's talent, however, is much taller....
Dunk Face: New Mexico
The gauntlet has been thrown down. It didn't take long for the rash of New Mexico Dunk Face submissions. (Three in one hour, actually.) So, here he is in all his glowering, heat-packing glory. Surprisingly, this dunk face is very similar to Terence Stansbury's....
The House of Mirrors That is the Mind of Barry Bonds
What would we see if we could step into the mind of Barry Bonds? The Mad Hatter would be hosting a tea party in there, certainly. Posters of Gilbert Gottfried and Prof. Irwin Corey on every wall. Fantastic creatures would abound — animals not found in nature, such as a spiny jackrabbit, and a half...
Virginia Cartoonist Can Predict Your Future
From the Life Immitates Art Department of the Fredricksburg Free Lance-Star:...
Randy McMichael's Refreshing Candor
It's been about 48 hours since the Eagles officially gave agent Drew Rosenhaus permission to shop around his star client, Terrell Owens, and, um, let's just say this about the response so far: Drew can go to the movies without worrying about his cell phone bothering anyone. In fact, one of Rosenhau...
What Could Be The Greatest Sports Story Ever
The man you see in this picture is Kevin Rogers. A football lifer, he is most famous for being Donovan McNabb's quarterback coach at Syracuse. He and his wife Betty are the parents of three. Earlier today, Rogers was hired by new coach Brad Childress to become the quarterbacks coach for the Minnes...
Bush Decides Not To Play For Free Anymore
Surprising no one on this planet — though we hear some Klingons were just shocked — Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush announced today that he will forgo his final season of eligibility and enter the NFL Draft....
New Mexico Packs Some Serious Heat
We've received a lot of amusing PhotoShop montages involving former Virginia Tech quarterback Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, but, for some reason, we think this is our favorite one....
Poll Results: Super-Size New Mexico!
You have spoken, dear readers, and it's perhaps little surprise that you'd be most afraid to run into Marcus "New Mexico" Vick at your local McDonald's. You know what's cool, though? He has a THUG LIFE tattoo across his McRib....
Poll: Whom Do You Least Want To Run Into At McDonald's?
We still haven't quite come to terms with the bat-shit crazy weirdness of Marcus "New Mexico" Vick whipping out a gun at McDonald's the day after he declared for the NFL Draft, but it did get us to thinking: We haven't been to McDonald's for a long, long time. At first, we thought it was because w...
Is Baseball's Top Shoulder Doc OK?
Buried in a Houston Chronicle story about Jeff Bagwell's rehab of his right shoulder was this disturbing tidbit:...
New Mexico's Teenage Tough Love
Well, it's almost noon, and hey: Marcus "New Mexico" Vick hasn't gotten arrested yet today. Good for him!...
New Mexico's Busy Fortnight
Apparently, Marcus "New Mexico" Vick thinks he's a rock star ... or Phil Spector....
Elsewhere in College Basketball...
• #5 Florida 90, Georgia 72. Gators push it to 14-0 by hammering the Bulldogs. Currently, there's not a ranked team on Florida's schedule other than Kentucky, and I'm not sure if they should count. • #12 Maryland 70, Miami 84. Miami hits 12-of-19 three balls to beat the Terps. Nice win, but I'll nee...
Marcus Vick Experience Shut Down For Safety Reasons
I share the view held by the Wizard of Odds that former Virginia Tech QB Marcus Vick's lack of remorse, or even any kind of acknowledgement of wrongdoing, is a little troubling. "It's not a big deal," he says....
Mexico Family Causing All Kinds Of Trouble
Much sturm und drang today concerning Little Mexico, Marcus Vick's, pretty blatant dick move during the Gator Bowl yesterday, pounding the left knee of Louisville's Elvis Dumervil. (You can see the video here.)...
How To Simulate Reggie Bush
Apparently, the Texas Longhorns are having a difficult time finding someone to simulate Reggie Bush on the scout team during practices....
Athlete Run-In: Marcus Fizer's Lack Of Ones
We know we said we were gonna take some time off from the athlete run-ins, but it's the Thursday before Christmas, the wireless here is spotty (but the coffee's surprisingly good) and we want to get home early so we can be made fun of by our uncles for our hair. So here's a bonus athlete run-in st...
Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....